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Oddly enough, working collections doesn't give me a lot of noteworthy customers. Most of them either have a sad story, or don't bother answering at all, so all in all, I'm lucky to get through a week with a customer I would bother talking about to anyone else. However, I got 2 yesterday...
Jim
Me: Nicest collection agent ever
Jim: Psycho Hosebeast
Me: Good afternoon, may I please speak with Danielle?
Jim: Hang on
(a minute or so goes by... I can hear a tv in the background, and chit chat. Also, there was no business greeting from Jim, just "Hello?")
Jim: What do you need?
Me: I was holding for Danielle please.
Jim: Well, this is JIM.
Me: (looking through screen, no one named Jim on acct). Sir, I am calling from XXX, and I need to speak with Danielle. Are you her husband?
Jim: Listen up you moron, you called her work number, who the F do you think I am??
Me: Okay sir, there's no need for that, this was listed as her home, and there was no business greeting when you answered, so I apologize for my misunderstanding, however I do need to speak wi...
Jim: GDit! I know her car is paid off, and I don't know what the MFing hell you want, you better tell me why you're calling you little W(prostitute) B(female dog).
Me: Allrighty, Sir, I need to speak with Danielle, if you won't let her speak to me, and if you won't take a message, I am disconnecting this call
Jim: F YOU!!!!!
Me: Click
WTF? Not only that, but as I hung up, I started IMMEDIATELY recounting that one to my nearby coworkers, and the girl in front of me said "Oh yeah, I got him last month". So this wasn't just a bad day, this is how Jim ALWAYS is. Wow.
Desperate Housewives
Me: Me
Her: Princess of Appearances
Me: Thank you for calling (blah blah blah), how may I help you?
Her: Why are you calling my neighbours???
Me: Um, I haven't called your neighbours (I handle early collections, I don't call neighbours). Can you give me your account number?
Her: Begins rant about how dare we call her neighbours...
Me: Interrupts: Maam, I can assure you, if we did call your neighbours, it was because we tried to contact you repeatedly, and we never heard back from you. Can I please have your account number so I can review the situation?
Her: xxxxxxx
Me: Thanks! (review account, 70 days late, haven't talk to her in almost 2 months)
Me: Here's the thing, it's been almost two months since we heard from you, and your account is headed to chargeoff. Since you aren't returning our calls, we have to try and reach you through any means possible, because for all we know, you may have moved, and we no longer have good contact numbers. I can assure you we have not discussed the account with your neighbours.
Her: You don't understand, I live in a VERY HIGH END neighbourhood, a gated community!. My neighbours are going to think I have financial problems now! You don't understand, have you ever seen Desperate Housewives? We're just like that!
Me: Does that mean you've called to make payment on your account then?
Her: Wha- no? *Sputters and hangs up*
Always tell the collection agent how much money you have lying about, because that really makes us feel sympathy towards the fact you haven't paiid your bill in months.
Jim
Me: Nicest collection agent ever
Jim: Psycho Hosebeast
Me: Good afternoon, may I please speak with Danielle?
Jim: Hang on
(a minute or so goes by... I can hear a tv in the background, and chit chat. Also, there was no business greeting from Jim, just "Hello?")
Jim: What do you need?
Me: I was holding for Danielle please.
Jim: Well, this is JIM.
Me: (looking through screen, no one named Jim on acct). Sir, I am calling from XXX, and I need to speak with Danielle. Are you her husband?
Jim: Listen up you moron, you called her work number, who the F do you think I am??
Me: Okay sir, there's no need for that, this was listed as her home, and there was no business greeting when you answered, so I apologize for my misunderstanding, however I do need to speak wi...
Jim: GDit! I know her car is paid off, and I don't know what the MFing hell you want, you better tell me why you're calling you little W(prostitute) B(female dog).
Me: Allrighty, Sir, I need to speak with Danielle, if you won't let her speak to me, and if you won't take a message, I am disconnecting this call
Jim: F YOU!!!!!
Me: Click
WTF? Not only that, but as I hung up, I started IMMEDIATELY recounting that one to my nearby coworkers, and the girl in front of me said "Oh yeah, I got him last month". So this wasn't just a bad day, this is how Jim ALWAYS is. Wow.Desperate Housewives
Me: Me
Her: Princess of Appearances
Me: Thank you for calling (blah blah blah), how may I help you?
Her: Why are you calling my neighbours???
Me: Um, I haven't called your neighbours (I handle early collections, I don't call neighbours). Can you give me your account number?
Her: Begins rant about how dare we call her neighbours...
Me: Interrupts: Maam, I can assure you, if we did call your neighbours, it was because we tried to contact you repeatedly, and we never heard back from you. Can I please have your account number so I can review the situation?
Her: xxxxxxx
Me: Thanks! (review account, 70 days late, haven't talk to her in almost 2 months)
Me: Here's the thing, it's been almost two months since we heard from you, and your account is headed to chargeoff. Since you aren't returning our calls, we have to try and reach you through any means possible, because for all we know, you may have moved, and we no longer have good contact numbers. I can assure you we have not discussed the account with your neighbours.
Her: You don't understand, I live in a VERY HIGH END neighbourhood, a gated community!. My neighbours are going to think I have financial problems now! You don't understand, have you ever seen Desperate Housewives? We're just like that!
Me: Does that mean you've called to make payment on your account then?
Her: Wha- no? *Sputters and hangs up*
Always tell the collection agent how much money you have lying about, because that really makes us feel sympathy towards the fact you haven't paiid your bill in months.
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