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  • #1

    Less sucky, more terrifying

    I received an obit today that was a WALL O TEXT, so I decided I'd better call the funeral home and see if they wanted it to be a free one (what I do) or a paid one (what the people downstairs do). So, I looked up the number and made the phone call. Here's what happened.

    Lady: "Hello, Bipolar Funeral Home, how may I help you?"
    Me: "Yeah, this is Mysty with the Area Newspaper, and I just received your obituary for Joe Schmo-,"
    Lady: BWEEEHAHAHAHAHA!!
    Me: WTF? "Uhhh...was it for the free department or, um, the paid department?"
    Lady: *cheerfully* "Oh, it's for the free department, I was wanting ya'll to edit it down to fit in there."
    Me: "Um, okay, I was just wanting to-,"
    Lady: BWEEEEEEHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
    Me: "-check on that...?"
    Lady: "Oh, okay. Do ya'll do proofs?"
    Me: "Umm...no...ma'am, we, uh-,"
    Lady: BEWWWWWHAHAHAAAAAAA!!
    Me: "We don't do proofs on the free ones, ma'am..."
    Lady: *still totally cheerful* "All right, that's fine then. That'll be in tomorrow's paper?"
    Me: "Yes, ma'am."
    Lady: "All righty, thank you!" *hangs up*
    Me: *gets bat, crawls under desk and hides*

    Wow, that was...way down the list of reactions that I would expect from a funeral home responding to that question...
    "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."
    Tags: None
  • #2
    That was disturbing enough to read. I can't imagine actually taking part in that phone call...
    Unseen but seeing
    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
    3rd shift needs love, too
    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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    • #3
      Did the obit look fake? Maybe she's reporting her boss dead for giggles?
      My basic dog food advice - send a pm if you need more.

      Saydrah's leaving the nest advice + packing list live here.

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      • #4
        Well, I looked it up on their website and there's an obit matching the name there. So if she's pulling some kind of joke, she's at least being very thorough.

        Though just now, some 80-year-old toothless guy came in claiming that we should write a story about the antimatter generator that he just invented. Sooooo I guess it's just Bring In The Psycho day...
        "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."

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        • #5


          You'd get that kind of reaction from.. Him..

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          • #6
            Quoth MystyGlyttyr View Post
            Well, I looked it up on their website and there's an obit matching the name there. So if she's pulling some kind of joke, she's at least being very thorough.

            Though just now, some 80-year-old toothless guy came in claiming that we should write a story about the antimatter generator that he just invented. Sooooo I guess it's just Bring In The Psycho day...

            Mysty: Ah, I was wondering where they went to after yesterday.

            I got called in to work at the paper 6 1/2 hours early (I usually work evenings only) because our phone staff is either:
            a) On Vacation
            b) Sick
            meaning the clerks get to do newsroom phone duty.

            Second call of the day went as follows (note--beyond the standard greeting, I didn't get a word in edgewise):

            [Woman's voice, sounds a bit on the elderly side, but quite strong] "Hello. I am the Secret President of the United States through a special agreement with George W. Bush. And I need you to understand that I do not endorse Senator Hillary Clinton for President. Because that woman has been stealing from me. She breaks into my room, and took the notes that I've been taking down every day as I read your paper. You understand, she had to destroy the evidence. And she also took $500 and my jewelry."

            Understand, I was still attempting to cope with having gotten 2 hours of sleep. For a brief moment, I suspected I was dreaming, but the absence of a naked Angelina Jolie put that notion to rest.

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            • #7
              I'm wondering if the caller had a vocal tic like what sometimes happens with Tourette syndrome?
              The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

              The stupid is strong with this one.

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              • #8
                Having 'interacted' with some staff from funeral homes I know that when not dealing with customers they have an intense sense of humour that can on occasion be best described as 'bizarre'. This is a coping mechanism with having to deal with the reality of death day in and day out.
                A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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