Who Opened The Gates To Crazyland?

[NightAngel]

So, this woman comes in- you know how you can just look at some people and know they're a few fries short of a Happy Meal? Yeah... okay...

So, she wanders around a bit the she comes up and mumbles/asks me to show her to the Bible section which we don't have. So I tell her a few religious titles we do have and point her in the right direction.

She comes back to the counter with three movies from the Family section instead. She mumbles/asks me to use the phone her conversation is so strange/mumbled/confused one of my CSR's pulled me aside and asked if she was actually talking to anyone? I said I really didn't know.

So, finally she ends the 'conversation' and lays her selections on the counter and asks, "How much this gonna be?"

And this is where it gets really fun.

Me: "With the special it'll be $10.69 after tax."
Her: "Okay, take it out of this." and she pulls out a $1.00 bill.
Me: "That's a one."
Her: "Yeah, just take it out of this."
Me: "That's not enough money. It costs $10.69 you're $9.69 short."
Her: "You mean you work with money and you don't know how to do it?"
Me: "Do what?"
Her: "Add, subtract then divide and make it work."
Me: "I know how to do math and the math is that you are $9.69 short."
Her: "You can't do that add, subtract and divide?"
Me: "Oh, yeah- I know how to do it but it's not worth me losing my job over."
Her: *looks over at my co-worker*
Her: "Maybe he knows how to do it."

I just hold in my laughter and allow her to talk to him.

Her: "Hey... you."
CW: "Yes?"
Her: "You know hows to count money?"
CW: does a drawn out answer as he looks from her to me- I can tell that he can feel something crazy coming... "Yeeesss."
Her: "You count a dollar as more than a hundred pennies?"
CW: "A dollar IS a hundred pennies."
Her: "So, you countin' it as more?"
CW: "No. It's the same. One dollar is one hundred pennies."
Her: "You know how to add, subtract and divide to make this work to over a hundred pennies?"
CW: "Oh, no. I don't think so..."

Her: "Fine! I'll just go somewhere they knowin' how to use a dollar!"
She leaves- angry.

I burst into hysterical laughter.

[Pagan]

Her: "You count a dollar as more than a hundred pennies?"
CW: "A dollar IS a hundred pennies."
Her: "So, you countin' it as more?"
CW: "No. It's the same. One dollar is one hundred pennies."
Her: "You know how to add, subtract and divide to make this work to over a hundred pennies?"
CW: "Oh, no. I don't think so..."

Her: "Fine! I'll just go somewhere they knowin' how to use a dollar!"
She leaves- angry.

Oh. My. Goddess. Is she in for a long journey! I'm bad, and I mean bad, at math, but even I know that a hundred pennies is never going to be more than a dollar!

Here's a question you could have asked here, "What color is the sky in your world?" That could have given you great insight into her damage!

[JuniorMintz]

Holy freakin' hell, that just broke my brain!

Hope whoever's looking for her on her home planet finds her soon!

[TequilaSunrise]

What the...??

I...I...um...argh.

This is going to keep me awake. Oy.

[Mark Healey]

This doesn't sound like your garden variety bonehead. I'd be willing to be that there is some organic mental illness there.

[Imogene]

Could it possibly have to do with an exchange rate for some foreign country being higher than the value of the dollar?

Look at me, trying to play Devil's Advocate and figure out logical reasons why a customer did what they did...

[Lace Neil Singer]

Argh! I think my IQ dropped just reading that.

[LostMyMind]

So, this woman comes in- you know how you can just look at some people and know they're a few fries short of a Happy Meal? Yeah... okay...

Wow, the understatement of the year. That's just insulting the few fries short folks.

[JustaCashier]

Add me to the Club!

[TonyDonuts]

Could it possibly have to do with an exchange rate for some foreign country being higher than the value of the dollar?

Look at me, trying to play Devil's Advocate and figure out logical reasons why a customer did what they did...

Don't worry. I too once tried to figure out why customers do what they do. But I gave up when I realized that that way lies madness.

Now, I just weep for the future of humanity. And laugh hysterically. Mostly the laughing thing, though.

[chainedbarista]

maybe she was trying the walmart version of the jedi mind trick, and couldn't understand that it failed...miserably?

just...WOW.

[Becks]

Maybe she was stoned and thought she was handing over a $20 bill?

I hope so, because it's quite painful to think someone is that stupid.

[air914]

Yeah I agree on the "Wow, Just Wow" part.... and I'm BAD at math too - don't ask me to add stuff up in my head - give me a calculator or a pencil & paper and MAYBE I can do it..... HOWEVER, I still know there are 100 pennies in a dollar and there's nothing you can do to change that.... unless you want to change it into 4 quarters or something like that.... or 10 dimes, right? or some nickles.... anyway I'm with it on the maybe they're foreign and didn't understand the money exchange.... I'm still hoping it's that too!

[cheese]

Sounds to me more like she was trying to get a (huge) discount on her shopping and get you to fiddle your till rather than actually not realising that there are a hundred pennies in a dollar..

Is similar to when I often get kids coming up with pocket money to pay for an item and they'll be short, and their parents will go "oh go on, you can reduce the item and make your till balance can't you *wink wink*, my darling has saved reaaally hard for this" Um thats lovely lady, but its not worth losing my job over

[phillippbo]

Brings to mind Austin Powers:

"...and, oh dear I've gone cross-eyed."

I'm guessing she was using the "new" math that politicians all seem to be able to use since at least the 80's. You know, 2 + 2 = ... let's see, the speed of light in a vacuum is 299,792,458 m/s and the earth is moving around the sun at 107,000 km/hr... uh, the moon isn't full yet and... erm, today is Thursday and the budget has already been done... so, that means the average price of a home in the US is about $225,000 and a stop light is red... therefore, there have been ten Star Trek movies, but only six Star Wars movies, and I have on my red shirt today... so, the answer is 24.225 until tomorrow, when I'll have to start my calculations all over again.

Or, alternately, 2 + 2 = whatever the heck I want it to be.