An Ode to Nacho Cheese

[MrInsecure]

Hello, this is MrInsecure of the concession stand again. So many people seem to like nachos and cheese that I thought I would write my perspective about them. Now, I don't personally like nachos and cheese, and I don't begrudge the chips anything. However, nacho cheese is... well, there is no other substance quite like it on the face of the planet.

According to the ingredients, there's milk in it, but I don't believe that. You know that semi-solid state it's at when you get it hot? Well, it's like that at room temperature, too. Also, it dissolves in water (something you learn when you have to clean out an abandoned nacho tray for stock) yet can somehow stick to surfaces for YEARS if allowed to harden. If you leave it out long enough under a warmer, it grows a skin like pudding (though I have never heard of nacho cheese skins as some kind of delicacy).

Also, lots of people love it. I don't know why. I have had people ask me for popcorn and nacho cheese on the side for dipping. I even had the following exchange:

Me: Hello, sir, what would you like?
Man: Hi, could I just have a large coke?
Me: Sure, would you like anything else?
Man: Yeah, just a cup of nacho cheese and two straws.
Me: *throws up a little inside my mouth*

I wouldn't be so mad at nacho cheese if this were a rare occurrence, but nachos are one of our most popular items, and everyone seems to want more of the stuff. Honestly, I'm surprised a cup of nacho cheese hasn't risen up, screamed "Cthulu F'thagen!" and devoured one of our customers.

Actually, that would be awesome.

[PepperElf]

but then someonen would ask for "an order of Cuthulu Chips with Nacho Cheese"...

[HALFHUMANHALFZOMBIE]

Yeah I find popcorn dipped in nacho cheese to be pretty gross myself! I love nacho with cheese myself, I was obsessed with them when I worked at the theatre but one time I would eat the whole chip after chip and get canker sores!

[marasbaras]

The fact that it'll dry and stick like that means it actually does have some kind of dairy in it ... dairy does that.

Now, this does not mean that the company has not done evil incantations over it and produced something vile, yet oh-so-tasty on so many things.

[HereWeGo]

Good heavens, please tell me the straws were for the coke.

[poofy_puff]

Good heavens, please tell me the straws were for the coke.

Oh, no pun intended I'm sure, right?

[Becks]

Honestly, I'm surprised a cup of nacho cheese hasn't risen up, screamed "Cthulu F'thagen!" and devoured one of our customers.

Let it evolve through a couple more life cycles.

[DesignFox]

Oh, no pun intended I'm sure, right?

That's hilarious.

I don't know what it is about nacho cheese...I think maybe they put some illegal substances in it. I know when I get nachos, I can never have enough of the cheese type stuff.

Putting it on popcorn or drinking it straight up, though...that's a little much even for me!

[dougall]

http://suicideforhire.comicgenesis.com/d/20070328.html

http://suicideforhire.comicgenesis.com/d/20070411.html

[Boozy]

Me: Sure, would you like anything else?
Man: Yeah, just a cup of nacho cheese and two straws.

You are right to be suspicious of nacho cheese. Its not food, really. Its a food-like substance.

Sort of like McDonald's "shakes".

[Rapscallion]

We've eased off a touch on matters of race and so forth if it's helping to set the scene. If someone's blatantly talking about one particular group in a derogatory sense on a regular basis, we'll act, or if it's blatant isming (a new word!), then we'll get involved. If not, we'll let small mentions for description slide.

It's a trial.

Rapscallion

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Nacho cheese looks like, smells like, and in my case, frequently iduces, vomit.

I may think that because once I ate some and then vomited (stomach flu), and now I associate it with that, but really, I consider it a kind of chicken/egg sort of thing:

Nacho chees=vomit
vomit=nacho cheese

You really don't have one without the other.

[Sableonblonde]

I love Nacho cheese! LOL And I love dipping popcorn in it. I never would have thought to try it, but my co-workers, back when I worked a concession stand, insisted it was yummy so I gave it a go, and indeed it was quite tasty. It was also good on french fries and chicken strips. Yum. I couldn't imagine just eating it by itself though, that seems like a little too much, even for me

[ShetenshiSenshi]

There has to be something illegal in nacho cheese to make it so addicting! Have you ever dipped Crunch candy bars in nacho cheese? Artery clogging, death dealing goodness.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Have you ever dipped Crunch candy bars in nacho cheese? Artery clogging, death dealing goodness.

For a moment there, I thought I was going to find out if pizza tastes the same coming up as it does going down.

I believe Nacho Cheez would be best suited as an industrial lubricant.