Our Porn isn't Hardcore

[looney_librarian]

Media Play used to sell what would be considered soft core porn, mostly strip teases.

Our return policy is no returns on open product unless defective, but we usually wind up giving the customer an in-store credit just to shut them up and send them on their way.

I'm up at the front doing some cleaning and chatting with the head cashier and manager when this gentleman (the farthest thing from it) comes in and wants to return a Girls Gone Wild DVD. His reason? It's not hardcore enough.
If you've ever seen a Girls Gone Wild commercial, the DVD is the commercial minus the censor effects.

I'm a little sketchy on the actual conversation but here's the gist of it.

M=manager
SC=porn addict

M=So you want to return this because it's not hardcore enough?
SC=Damn right! This here DVD just has girls strippin'. They ain't doin' nothin' else.
M=Well sir. Media Play is a family oriented establishment. We don't sell the hardcore DVD because of that.
SC=That's bullshit
M=Well sir. That's our policy. And our return policy is that since you have opened the DVD, we can only exchange it for the exact same item. But in your case, I'll give you an in-store credit.
SC=Bullshit! I want my money back and you're gonna give it to me.
M=No sir I will not. Now you can take the in-store credit or you can leave.
SC=All you're gonna do is repackage the DVD and resell it. Takin' my money away from me. Well I ain't gonna let you.

He then grabs the DVD back from the head cashier, takes out the dvd and bends it until it shatters. He throws the remaining pieces on the counter and storms out.

We all had a good laugh after that.

And while we're on the subject;

Another woman went off on me because she had found an empty porn case (stolen) in the children bargain books. She wanted us to do something about it. I took the DVD case and logged it as shrink. The same lady then complained about some sex book being in the bible section of our books. (the sex books were like the positions of the karma sutra, or how to please your partner and were located 2 rows down from the bibles). Like I can control all the other 1500+ people that come into the store daily.

[Shards]

He then grabs the DVD back from the head cashier, takes out the dvd and bends it until it shatters. He throws the remaining pieces on the counter and storms out.

Another woman went off on me because she had found an empty porn case (stolen) in the children bargain books. She wanted us to do something about it. I took the DVD case and logged it as shrink. The same lady then complained about some sex book being in the bible section of our books. (the sex books were like the positions of the karma sutra, or how to please your partner and were located 2 rows down from the bibles). Like I can control all the other 1500+ people that come into the store daily.

"Well, ma'am, actually, there are several religions worldwide that glorify intercourse as a sacred act, and these are religious texts advising the best ways to worship."

See how she reacts.

[Snowbird]

M=Well sir. Media Play is a family oriented establishment. We don't sell the hardcore DVD because of that.
SC=That's bullshit

Silly SC, doesn't he know that the internet is for porn?

[marasbaras]

Takin' my money away from me.

What a moron! How does one not understand "in-store credit"?

Takin' my money away from me.

He sounds like one of those anti-tax wankers who believe that ALL of their income belongs to them (um, no, sir/ma'am, part of that income belongs to the collective to pay for all of the services you enjoy by living in a society). By buying GGW, that money isn't yours anymore.

[crazylegs]

SC=All you're gonna do is repackage the DVD and resell it. Takin' my money away from me. Well I ain't gonna let you.

But what I am going to do is waste 20 of my hard earned dollars and make myself look like a complete wally!

[gunsage]

It would've been really funny if, right in the moment he broke the CD, you did the following:

*Eyes widen, jaw drops, jumps over counter, cradles pieces of CD* "No!! God, NO! What have you DONE?!" *Weeping*

Fight drama with drama!

[earl colby pottinger]

Karma Sutra

"Well, ma'am, actually, there are several religions worldwide that glorify intercourse as a sacred act, and these are religious texts advising the best ways to worship."

See how she reacts.

In fact the Karma Sutra does contain a lot of text on personal relationships and I think it was originally used in local religions to help newly-weds get started so I think you would be telling the truth.

[Spiffy McMoron]

Silly SC, doesn't he know that the internet is for porn?

It's true, WoW characters can confirm that.

[mariamousie1]

Doesn't he realize he can buy something else with the credit? What an idiot.

By the way, I love your quote. Not only is it true, it always makes me think of Homer Simpson: What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid. "Takes one to know one!"

[Tria]

"Well, ma'am, actually, there are several religions worldwide that glorify intercourse as a sacred act, and these are religious texts advising the best ways to worship."

See how she reacts.

Meh, tell her to check out the Song of Solomon.... And yes, sex is an act of worship.... Ask her if she ever screamed "Oh God" during sex.

[TWOLF]

now you got me thinking about the movie good luck chuck when after he finishes up the woman asks if he wants to pray with her.

[lordlundar]

I heard a similar story on my last day at my first job. I never saw this happen, but good gord do I wish I had.

This lady brought a camera in, was told that there was physical damage so there would be a fee for the repair (the screen was cracked) she was fine with this and left. She must have heard that if you scream and bitch enough and ask for the store manager you will get a full refund (camera was over a year old, so in short, not gonna happen) So she came back in and started up.

The store manager was gone for the day, and the highest authority we had for this was our customer service supervisor, who told her that it wasn't happening. The ranting continued. They brought back the camera, showed here the screen again and told her it was physical damage and though it would be repaired, there was going to be a fee for it and a refund was not in the cards.

Guess what happened next.

She grabs the camera, throws it on the ground, stomps on it a couple of times, and put it back on the counter. She then says "Now it physically damaged, what are you going to do now?" The CSS processed a pickup reciept to get it out of the system, voided the service plan and put the camera on the counter, telling her they were no longer responsible for the camera and to leave the store. She left without the camera (came by later to retrieve it), bitching and complaining the entire time.

[TWOLF]

IShe grabs the camera, throws it on the ground, stomps on it a couple of times, and put it back on the counter. She then says "Now it physically damaged, what are you going to do now?" The CSS processed a pickup reciept to get it out of the system, voided the service plan and put the camera on the counter, telling her they were no longer responsible for the camera and to leave the store. She left without the camera (came by later to retrieve it), bitching and complaining the entire time.

You have no idea how many times I've heard of peopel trying this with cell phones and some idiots do this crap to file insurance claims to try to get a brand new phone.

[icmedia]

the positions of the karma sutra

The "Karma Sutra"...

Is that like, a book that only gives you a description of the positions you really deserve?

LOL...it's actually the Kama Sutra, or more accurately, "Kamasutra"

[ArenaBoy]

It's true, WoW characters can confirm that.

Ahh good ol' Avenue Q. One of the funniest Broadway plays ruining everyone's memories of spoofing Sesame Street in a way that's vulgar and hilarious.