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The mention of a polite chuckle in another thread made me think about the ways we can turn a bad customer encounter into a good one or at least get the bad customers off our backs. So here is a list of weapons I have used to turn the tides to my favor. They are pitiful wepaons and non-lethal, but they are what we have at our disposal. By all means, add to the list:
1. The Tight-Lipped Smile-This is employed to show attention with just a hint of irritation and arrogance. It is best used silently when a customer is being verbally abusive between the time you call your manager and the time he or she arrives to relieve you and escort the customer from the store. The Tight-Lipped Smile may also be combined with The Snooty Voice (see below) in encounters where you are the manager or your manager won't be able to help you.
2. The Hold Button-The Hold Button is indispensible when you are dealing with an unreasonable phone customer. Using it can give both parties a chance to cool off and might even trick the customer into hanging up (an added bonus). This weapon can also be easily upgraded into the Endless Hold Queue for especially vicious foes.
3. The Snooty Voice-The Snooty Voice is a very effective weapon, but takes a bit of practice to master. It is employed with your usual phrasing, but makes you sound very superior and condescending. People who have mastered the Snooty Voice can make the word "Sir" sound like an insult. The Snooty Voice is not usually effective and getting the enemy to leave the battlefield, but it is surprisingly effective at making him behave himself in your presence.
4. The Reassuring Noises-When a customer decides to rant and rave, but hasn't crossed the line into abuse, you can use a series of sounds, phrases and gestures to make him feel that you care about whatever it is he's whining about. Nods, slightly pursed lips combined with sincere-looking eye contact (and it must be sincere-looking; you must positively ooze empathy for this to work) puctuated with the occasional "I see" or "oh, dear." Reassuring noices can do wonders to sooth a ranting customer. If he thinks you are on his side, he'll be much more manageable when you outline his actual options for him.
5. The Hanging Silence-When you get the feeling that a customer is not going to accept what you tell him, you can employ this weapon. Answer the question and wait patiently. He will likely counter with "I won't accept that" or "that's not good enough." Simply reply with a Reassuring Noise (see above) and then stay quiet with an expectant smile on your face. Repeat as necessary until he accepts the answer, leaves or escalates (in which case you can employ sterner weapons).
6. The Hanging Silence, Counter-Meaures to -The Hanging Silence is also a favorite weapon of many customers, although they employ it offensively rather than defensively. They listen to you answer a question, then just wait. They are banking on you becoming uncomfortable with the silence and hoping you will start talking to fill it and give up some information advantageous to them. The only way to fight it, of course, is to recognize it keep quiet.
If it drags out too long you can always break the silence by asking a question about a different subject such as, "Is there anything else I can do for you?" or "Did you have another question?" If the Silent Customer still doesn't give up, you can always end the one-sided "conversation" thusly. "Well, if there's nothing else, have a very nice evening (day, afternoon, weekend), and please feel free to get in touch if you have any questions."
1. The Tight-Lipped Smile-This is employed to show attention with just a hint of irritation and arrogance. It is best used silently when a customer is being verbally abusive between the time you call your manager and the time he or she arrives to relieve you and escort the customer from the store. The Tight-Lipped Smile may also be combined with The Snooty Voice (see below) in encounters where you are the manager or your manager won't be able to help you.
2. The Hold Button-The Hold Button is indispensible when you are dealing with an unreasonable phone customer. Using it can give both parties a chance to cool off and might even trick the customer into hanging up (an added bonus). This weapon can also be easily upgraded into the Endless Hold Queue for especially vicious foes.
3. The Snooty Voice-The Snooty Voice is a very effective weapon, but takes a bit of practice to master. It is employed with your usual phrasing, but makes you sound very superior and condescending. People who have mastered the Snooty Voice can make the word "Sir" sound like an insult. The Snooty Voice is not usually effective and getting the enemy to leave the battlefield, but it is surprisingly effective at making him behave himself in your presence.
4. The Reassuring Noises-When a customer decides to rant and rave, but hasn't crossed the line into abuse, you can use a series of sounds, phrases and gestures to make him feel that you care about whatever it is he's whining about. Nods, slightly pursed lips combined with sincere-looking eye contact (and it must be sincere-looking; you must positively ooze empathy for this to work) puctuated with the occasional "I see" or "oh, dear." Reassuring noices can do wonders to sooth a ranting customer. If he thinks you are on his side, he'll be much more manageable when you outline his actual options for him.
5. The Hanging Silence-When you get the feeling that a customer is not going to accept what you tell him, you can employ this weapon. Answer the question and wait patiently. He will likely counter with "I won't accept that" or "that's not good enough." Simply reply with a Reassuring Noise (see above) and then stay quiet with an expectant smile on your face. Repeat as necessary until he accepts the answer, leaves or escalates (in which case you can employ sterner weapons).
6. The Hanging Silence, Counter-Meaures to -The Hanging Silence is also a favorite weapon of many customers, although they employ it offensively rather than defensively. They listen to you answer a question, then just wait. They are banking on you becoming uncomfortable with the silence and hoping you will start talking to fill it and give up some information advantageous to them. The only way to fight it, of course, is to recognize it keep quiet.
If it drags out too long you can always break the silence by asking a question about a different subject such as, "Is there anything else I can do for you?" or "Did you have another question?" If the Silent Customer still doesn't give up, you can always end the one-sided "conversation" thusly. "Well, if there's nothing else, have a very nice evening (day, afternoon, weekend), and please feel free to get in touch if you have any questions."
It's like the old Caddyshack question...)
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