So, I finally mouthed off to a customer

[obod7x7]

I am usually really good at holding in my thoughts when dealing with an idiot customer, but towards the end of a horrific 8.5 hour shift today, one just slipped out. This may be the first time that I have suddenly said what my brain was thinking at the time.

This particular SC has quite a history with us. He isn't too bad, just very annoying and somewhat demanding. One time, we had a promo going on where we gave out one free movie for every 5 movies rented. We used a punch card for this...and the night this SC came in, we were out. So, he demanded a manager (even though he was renting ONE movie), and eventually got a free rental for no apparent reason.

Anyways, here is what happened today...

First, he came to the counter, laughing snobbishly that all of the good new releases were rented out, as if I could really do anything about that.

Me: "Everything all together is $8.46"
SC: "Wow, how much is each of these?"
Me: "$4.23 with tax...it went up 40 cents recently."
SC: "Well it looks like I have to go to Netflix now."
Me: *sarcastically/unusually happy sounding* "Well, that's fine with me!"
SC: *makes outraged sigh* "Well that makes me want to use it more now!"
Me: "It's not my decision where you rent..."

Anyways, we got through the transaction. I can see a complaint to a manager for this one because this guy is such a douchebag. I honestly didn't care where he got his stupid movies, so I told him! Heh...he didn't like the fact that I wasn't saddened by his "departure" from our store.

Just to be a bigger jerk, I added a note to his account (exact formatting with the caps...we have old computers):

!
CUSTOMER IS USING NETFLIX
FROM NOW ON (SO HE SAID)

...INTERESTING FACT B/C IF
YOU'RE READING THIS, HE IS
RENTING HERE AGAIN!!!
08-24-06

[ArenaBoy]

For mouthing off to him, that's not bad at all. The worst I've said is "No wonder you're miserable." After a guy says how much he pays for a parking spot. If he says he's using Netflix, show the account to your manager but knowing most managers he'll bow to him. If he gets a laugh, then just hope that he doesn't come back, (DOUBTFUL!!!) By the way, your avatar needs more cowbell.

[ladyklack]

I get the strange feeling that we work for the same company (from your description of the computers) If thats the worst you've said to customers than you are waaaaay ahead of the game!

[Antisocial_Worker]

Yeah, that's not too bad for mouthing off. I've snapped a couple of times spectacularly and it's a miracle that I didn't get canned or at least docked pay because of it.

Incident 1 -- A former guest was angry because we were refusing to pay for his wife's doctor visits, which she claimed were necessary because she fell down our lobby staircase. When this occurred, I rushed to their aid and was assured that everything was fine. Lo and behold, after they left, that's when suddenly she had broken every bone in her body.

To make a long story short, he threatened to kill me. I threatened to kill him right back, culminating in, "I assure you, sir, that as surely as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, the police may find part of you, but they will never find all of you. Do you understand the words that just came out of my mouth?"

Incident 2 -- A woman got upset when informed that no fewer than six rooms had complained about her yappy little dog, which she had left alone in her room while she went out to do whatever for about nine hours. She pitched a fit in the lobby in front of guests waiting to check in and when the straw finally broke my back, I snapped, "Ma'am, I hate to sound vulgar but frankly I am counting the seconds until you get back on your broom and haul your wicked green ass back up to Mt. Laurel, New Jersey -- and your little dog too!"

Incident 3 -- A woman was furious that she could not cancel her reservation, even though I had told her at the time she made it that she couldn't. It was my fault that she and her husband had gotten lost, had to drive 30 extra minutes, etc., etc.

Some highlights:

She: If you hate people so much you shouldn't be working behind that desk!
Me: I LOVE people! I just don't like you."

And later...

She: I want your name!
Me: (Gave it) And be sure you spell that correctly, because I hate it when people mispell my name.
She: I never mispell anything!
Me: You must have been your mother's pride and joy.
She: I was!
Me: Then your mother should have had more children.

So... in the big scheme of things, your blowup was not major. You might even be able to turn the tables and make it look all innocent-like, as though you had no idea at all that your remarks could be construed as anything but sacharrine sweet.

[ladodger34]

Me: "Everything all together is $8.46"
SC: "Wow, how much is each of these?"
Me: "$4.23 with tax...it went up 40 cents recently."
SC: "Well it looks like I have to go to Netflix now."
Me: *sarcastically/unusually happy sounding* "Well, that's fine with me!"
SC: *makes outraged sigh* "Well that makes me want to use it more now!"
Me: "It's not my decision where you rent..."

I just to get that crap too. If I made a decision that someone didn't like (usually means I was following league rules) in regards to their adult softball team, the threat was "Fine, we'll just go play in (insert city name) next season!"

Towards the end of that job, my response was usually along the lines of your response to the SC.

[obod7x7]

I realize it wasn't bad. I was just shocked that it came out of my mouth immediately. Whenever I get a SC, stuff goes through my head and it is never said. No, it wasn't bad, but it was an immediate response from me, which is rare.

[chainedbarista]

i found it amusing; he was being an ass and you pointed it out...i don't see the harm in that at all!

(seconds the 'more cowbell' nomination)

[Lace Neil Singer]

Carry on...

[digilight]

Me: You must have been your mother's pride and joy.
She: I was!
Me: Then your mother should have had more children.

Holy crap, that is sig worthy right there.

I'm still laughing from it.

[Becks]

She pitched a fit in the lobby in front of guests waiting to check in and when the straw finally broke my back, I snapped, "Ma'am, I hate to sound vulgar but frankly I am counting the seconds until you get back on your broom and haul your wicked green ass back up to Mt. Laurel, New Jersey -- and your little dog too!"
<snip>
She: If you hate people so much you shouldn't be working behind that desk!
Me: I LOVE people! I just don't like you."

Oh, I don't know which one is funnier.

[PuckishOne]

Incident 1 -- "I assure you, sir, that as surely as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, the police may find part of you, but they will never find all of you. Do you understand the words that just came out of my mouth?"

Incident 2 -- "Ma'am, I hate to sound vulgar but frankly I am counting the seconds until you get back on your broom and haul your wicked green ass back up to Mt. Laurel, New Jersey -- and your little dog too!"

You are my new hero.

May I use the quote from Incident 1 in a signature line? Not only is that uber-poetical, it just so happens to be something I would say.

[Antisocial_Worker]

You are my new hero.

May I use the quote from Incident 1 in a signature line? Not only is that uber-poetical, it just so happens to be something I would say.

Go nuts.

I admit that I went too far in that, but to be fair, he did threaten to kill me first. Actually, it was almost as though he couldn't make up his mind. First he said he was going to come up here and do it, and then he said he was going to get his brother, who lived up here, to come do it.

That probably was the worst incident of customer suckiness I've ever been a party to. The death threats were only the end of it. There was a lot of build up. He accused me of being an "AIDS-infected faggot." I accused him of being a child molester. Among other insults on both sides. And finally, after the death threats, I just laughed at him, and I've been told that I have one of the best evil and chilling laughs around. When the guest complained to my manager later, he said that was the part where he started being really afraid of me.

As an aside, after I got the death threat, I was so excited that I called my mom to tell her all about it.

To get back on topic, I'm the first to admit that it's never a good idea to mouth off to customers, but God does it ever feel good. At the same time, if someone mouths off, and it's as mild as it was in the OP's case, especially when you can play dumb and say that you never meant to be anything other than polite and you're terribly sorry the customer misunderstood you, there's no need to beat yourself up over it.

Beat yourself up over it only when you really cross the line.

[Dips]

And there are some customers who actually enjoy a little mild smart aleck banter. You have to be quite sure of the reaction before trying it, but it can make your cooler customers calm down and realize that you think well enough of them to let your professional facade down. It also gives them a chance to laugh at themselves a bit and save their dignity.

The best example happened when I was at a restaurant with my in-laws. My MIL has a tendency to get obsessive about random things she notices every now and then. When this happens she will discuss that thing constantly and endlessly until she's run out of steam. This time the random thing happened to be the whiteness of the clam shells on the steamers we had ordered.

For the next 15 minutes we listened to her go on and on and ON [don't get me wrong, she's a wonderful lady, she just sometimes...eccentric]:

"I wonder why those are so white."

"Will you look at how white those are? I've never seen such white clam shells. I wonder where they came from?"

"I just can't get over how WHITE those shells are. Do you think they got them from around here?"

Eventually, of course, the waiter was dragged into it:

"I was just telling everyone how white those shells are. I've lived around here for years and I've never seen such WHITE shells. I have to know where they came from."

At that, the waiter wordlessly picked up an empty shell, examined it carefully, and stated, "This one came from near the mouth of the Ipswich River." He looked again, "I think from the south bank."

He put it down and picked up another, gave it the same careful inspection, and said, "I'm positive this one is from the tidal flats near Plum Island."

This went on for a while; he never even had the hint of a smile the whole time. My MIL was the last one to figure it out, but she laughed the hardest and FINALLY stopped talking about white clam shells.

[abbynormal]

Dips- I love your story! I always find it funny what you can get away when you say things with a smile. I remember this one time, I had a customer who was just whining and moaning...missed his flight...lines were to long....had to park in the back lots...yada..yada...yada! I looked at him plain as day and said..." I'm missing the part where thats my problem!" I was so shocked I said that! I think it alot but never outloud! Anyway I clapped my hand over my mouth and the guy started laughing back! Thank God too! He told me I was the funniest agent at Ohare and after I rebooked him on another flight he even told my supervisor how Great I was. Just be careful before you mouth off you never who they are or how they will take it!!

[Broomjockey]

I've had times where something just slips out. I can't remember any specific incidents at the moment, but usually I manage to wait until they are out of earshot.