Tales of the Security Guard(language)

[d962831]

wow, I want your job...minus the having to deal with rape victims, because personally, if someone was raped nearby and I saw whoever did it, whoever did it would be dead. Anyway that job sounds perfect, I so wish I could be an ass right back at people.

[crazylegs]

wow, I want your job...minus the having to deal with rape victims,

Rape Victims, sorry, am being a little dense where does it say about that...?

[d962831]

Fortunately, I have never had to hit anyone on this job. I have come close several times, but when people notice I am ready to defend myself they back off. Several times I have come between brawls. I have been the only thing that kept two people from killing each other. I've had to deal with rape victims. I've been taunted and teased for being a rent-a-cop. Out of all of those, which one do you think I care the least about? The taunting and teasing. This has happened to me at every site I have worked at. Guess what, morons? I don't care. I'll go more into that in my next post. But for now, it's eight in the morning and I have work tonight. Hope you enjoyed reading.

right there. He didn't go into detail, but I'm assuming he either found someone or they approached him and had him call the cops, either way I still wouldn't like to deal with it. The whole thought of it makes me sick and I would very likely try to kill someone if they did it.

[TheRedHawk]

This is why I'm always nice to anyone in a uniform.



...Any more stories?

Don't treat security guards like cops. We are not cops. Just treat us like any other person. I don't want any special treatment.

Have you ever actually had to apply the Maglight to anyone's head? Please tell us about so I can live through you vicariously!

Fortunately no. As I said, everyone who has threatened me or acted tough backed down when I stood my ground and prepared to defend myself.

It'd probably kill, so I'd advise against it, its a 'red zone' in UK police parlance, only to be struck if
a) all other options have been exhausted
b) your life is in *immediate* danger (as in gun to head type shenanigans)

Here in the US, and particularly Arizona, it qualifies as self defense if you are in fear of your well being. If a person walks up to you and says "I'm gonna kill you!" you are within your rights to beat them senseless. If you had a gun in that type of situation you could shoot to kill. At least that is my understanding of the law.

One more story for now, I have to go to work in about an hour. Alas, nothing interesting has happened to me in the last six months, ever since I was moved to my new site: a golf resort in a rich neighborhood.

No work can be done until I say so!

This happened at the same site as my first story. Workers tended to show up at about 5:00AM and start working. A nearby resident did not like this and decided to take things into his own hands. There are two parts to this story.

Part the First
At about 2:30AM a load of lumber was delivered to the site. This made a lot of noise and apparently woke a nearby resident. This man came roaring onto the site just as the delivery trucks left. So I was the one to take his wrath. This man begins yelling and screaming at me saying that no one can be on the site until 6:00AM. He also said that it was against the law for them to make deliveries so late. I was still new to the job at this point, so I didn't know how to handle him. I hadn't yet become the unfazed asshole I am now. So I stuttered an apology and he went on his way.

Part the Second
A few days later at 5:30 or so several groups of workers had shown up. They were pouring concrete for the foundation of several new houses so a bunch of cement mixers were showing up. I'm parked near the entrance facing into the site. Since the workers are on site I don't really have to do anything until my shift ends. Suddenly I see an SUV pull into and stop in the only entrance to the site. He is blocking the only way in or out with his car. I don't think much of it, as I have seen workers stop there every so often, then move on after a minute or so. But this SUV just sits there. Several cars full of workers are stopped on the tiny side street waiting to get in. So I get out to see what's going on.

In the SUV is the same guy who yelled at me a few nights ago. He's yelling into a cell phone. He hangs up as I approach and happily tells me: "I called the cops." I am dumbstruck. This idiot called the cops. I ask him why and he explains that legally no work can be done on the site until 6:00AM and that he's sick and tired of being woken up early by the construction noises and he needs his sleep. This is where I started to grow some balls on the job.

Me: Sir, you cannot block the site.
Entitled moron: I tried telling you how it goes, but you didn't listen.
Me: Sir, move your vehicle or I'll call the police.
EM: The police are on their way!
Me: Yeah, but I'll call them to report you for trespassing.
The General Contractor walks up.
GC: What the fuck is going on!? Move your fucking car, you're blocking the road!
EM: No, the police are on their way. I'm gonna have you fined.
What follows is a loud argument between me, the moron, the general contractor, and a bunch of big construction workers who looked ready to beat this guy to death. I would also like to note that at this time the tiny road leading to the site in now crammed with four cement mixers, four flatbeds with lumber and other supplies, as well as several cars and trucks full of workers. When the police showed up they had to park a quarter mile away because the street was full of cars.

The police finally get everything settled and the moron pulls into the site and off to the side(there was no way for him to leave with how jammed the road was.) It took more than 20 minutes for all the vehicles to make it into the site and for me to leave(my shift had ended about ten minutes ago.)

The next day I asked the general contractor what exactly happened to the guy. He grinned and said: "He was fined for trespassing and told never to come on this site again. So if you see him call the cops. He isn't allowed anywhere near here." It turns out there actually is a law saying when construction work can start, but that this site had a permit to start early. The nearby neighborhoods had been notified of this, the guy was just an asshole who wanted his beauty sleep.

A funny little side story:
When the cops showed up one of the cars full of workers drove off as quickly as they could through the crowded street. The general contractor began laughing his ass off when he saw them leave. I asked him what was going on. "They're undocumented! They always freak out when the police show up. They probably won't be back until tomorrow, and I'll have to fire them for missing work." The cops never questioned anyone in their cars. If they had stuck around, nothing would have happened to them.

[Forensic Waitress]

Man I wish my job allowed me to tell people to fuck off when I wanted to and when it was really needed.

Good on you for doing your job so well.

[gunsage]

your life is in *immediate* danger (as in gun to head type shenanigans)

Mweeheheee...there are "exceptions." One of my former lieutenants, a very awesome 50 year old former bouncer and high ranking martial artist who's calmer than calm at all times, relayed his stories about working security in Vegas. Yeah...apparently over there if somebody's coming at you with so much as a PEN, you can take 'im down. From what he described, the security and police work very well together and don't take shit. Sounds fun!

[princess4life]

Part the First
At about 2:30AM a load of lumber was delivered to the site. This made a lot of noise and apparently woke a nearby resident. This man came roaring onto the site just as the delivery trucks left. So I was the one to take his wrath. This man begins yelling and screaming at me saying that no one can be on the site until 6:00AM. He also said that it was against the law for them to make deliveries so late. I was still new to the job at this point, so I didn't know how to handle him. I hadn't yet become the unfazed asshole I am now. So I stuttered an apology and he went on his way.

no offense but I would be pissed too if someone was ubnloading lumber at 2:30 on the morning. I already get up early enough.

[rvdammit]

Best fault report I've seen on a portable barcode scanner, from an armoured car crew:

Robber's head too hard.

[Primer]

Yeah...apparently over there if somebody's coming at you with so much as a PEN, you can take 'im down.

Actually, I can do a hella lot more damage with a pen (or pencil) than with a knife or gun at extremely close range. So yes, if somebody is coming at me with a pen, it IS serious!

And TheRedHawk: I'm already happily married, or I'd propose!

[Bagboy]

May I ask how old the girl was that said she would get her boyfriend? If she were a pre-teen/teen, just say, no, you tell me your full name so I can call the cops and your parents. Shewould just give you empty threats. I've been the reciever of empty threats so many times, I just laugh. That's what you should have done. Laughed in her face.

[ArenaBoy]

Actually, I can do a hella lot more damage with a pen (or pencil) than with a knife or gun at extremely close range. So yes, if somebody is coming at me with a pen, it IS serious!

Just about anything can be a weapon. My car keys can make a hell of self defense weapon. An umbrella? Can function as a bat. Now if only I knew how to defend myself against fresh fruit.

[powerboy]

Ditto. So then, are you still working as a security guard? I worked as one for about 5 years...it's about the most fun customer service job you can have, really.

Not for me. I worked only once for Security. When I call to see about working. I don't get any. I have been at the job(second job) for over 3 months now. That first day was bullshit for me. I got in trouble for someone leaving their post, to go to the bathroom. Didn't get my breaks. Except for lunch.

[gunsage]

Actually, I can do a hella lot more damage with a pen (or pencil) than with a knife or gun at extremely close range. So yes, if somebody is coming at me with a pen, it IS serious!

Kinda reminds me of a few nice executions on Manhunt 2. In any case, I'm more dangerous with my bare hands at close range...probably because I'm a former wrestler.

Now if only I knew how to defend myself against fresh fruit.

Fruit flies?

Not for me. I worked only once for Security. When I call to see about working. I don't get any. I have been at the job(second job) for over 3 months now. That first day was bullshit for me. I got in trouble for someone leaving their post, to go to the bathroom. Didn't get my breaks. Except for lunch.

Most of the sites I worked were boring and laid back. Further, I often worked third shift. So yes, if I needed to pee while on patrol, but still wanted to keep pace and multitask, often I'd whip it and go while walking. Although, I suppose that've been the suckiest time to come across an intruder.

[wanderingjoe72]

Next time I pass by Hi-Corbett at night, I'll pull up and yell RedHawk. Hopefully you won't beat me with a flashlight.

[Cyphr]

make sure its him on duty first you might be able to chill and tell SC storys and maybe even become one on here because you chilled with him the whole night