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Just a little while ago, I started working security at a local tech school campus. It's a nice school, large and well-funded, and with lots of students. However, I've gotten to work ins several positions there so far, and the one that never ceases to amaze me is when I deal with parking. Either working in the parkade booth, or simply patrolling outside in the parking lots. Here's a few of the doozies:
1. The parkade exit is a straight line from the entrance. It's VISIBLE, you can see the exit, and the street beyond with cars going past. there are no barriers or barricades. Yet the SINGLE MOST COMMON QUESTION I get asked is 'How do I get out?'. I've seen people drive RIGHT UP to the exit, and then make a sudden left turn. Or spend five minutes turning around, then fight their way the wrong way against traffic to try and go out the entrance. All while in plain view of the exit.
2. The 'Sold Out' sign has proven to have a single purpose. That is to instruct people to stop, make me open my window to the cold, cold outside air, and then ask me 'Are you sold out?'. After which I'm usually asked 'How do I get out of here?'
3. Note to the people above: I do not know where you can park. I do not know what you're supposed to do now. The parking on campus is extremely limited. we're sold out by 7:30-8 am, as is every other free parking spot on campus, and a great many spots that aren't parking spots. I have no power over this. Either get here before 7:30, or take transit.
4. Why on EARTH are college students buying and driving big diesel pickups? Big huge dual-wheel monstrosities, with the bed covers to indicate this truck has NEVER had anything placed in it's pristine bed. And you people commute in these monsters, and then complain about gas and/or finding parking? Listen, I've got a friend named Gravekeeper you need to call. Ask him about pants.
5. When you drive up, see me in the parking booth, make eye contact with me and see me walking to the window, why why WHY do you insist on pulling around in behind the booth? I'm not supposed to open the door, I have cash in there. It is also cold, and while you divert my attention, other people are retards while I'm not watching. I actually got an explanation from a staff member who did this. Her reasoning was that her truck was 'too big' to stop at the booth. This woman is teaching our children people.
6. A Parking Space does not consist of any physical area where your car happens to stop moving. Now, I can understand parking getting a little crazy during the week, when desperate, late students are squeezing in wherever they can in a desperate bid to make it to class. But, on a weekend, when parking is wide open, there is NO excuse for parking in a laneway, much less DOUBLE parking. There are legit parking stalls not 20 feet away, completely free of charge for the weekend. If I had my bylaw training, I'd have you ticketed and towed, and to hell if it ruined little Timmy's little league game or not.
7. You can't park here while towing a goddamned trailer. Ever. I don't care if you're late for class, next time take the 30 seconds it would take to unhitch the thing before leaving home.
8. There are two zones n the Parkade. A zone, for teachers, and B zone, for students. Aside from being on different levels, they are identical. The parkade has an elevator, so the real difference between level 7 (A zone) and level 9 (B zone) is negligible. So DON'T pitch a hissy fit when all the spots in A zone are taken, and you have to park in B zone. There are people who have passes who can't find parking at ALL. Suck it up and endure the extra time it takes the elevator to move two levels more.
9. You've been coming to this campus for at least a semester and a bit now, I see you every day. At 9:30. We're always sold out at 9:30. Always. So WHY do you insist on looking surprised, giving me a dirty look, and peeling out like this is a massive inconvenience? Do you KNOW the definition of madness? I do; It's what's happening to me watching you come by every day, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
That's all I got for now. Expect more in the future.
1. The parkade exit is a straight line from the entrance. It's VISIBLE, you can see the exit, and the street beyond with cars going past. there are no barriers or barricades. Yet the SINGLE MOST COMMON QUESTION I get asked is 'How do I get out?'. I've seen people drive RIGHT UP to the exit, and then make a sudden left turn. Or spend five minutes turning around, then fight their way the wrong way against traffic to try and go out the entrance. All while in plain view of the exit.
2. The 'Sold Out' sign has proven to have a single purpose. That is to instruct people to stop, make me open my window to the cold, cold outside air, and then ask me 'Are you sold out?'. After which I'm usually asked 'How do I get out of here?'
3. Note to the people above: I do not know where you can park. I do not know what you're supposed to do now. The parking on campus is extremely limited. we're sold out by 7:30-8 am, as is every other free parking spot on campus, and a great many spots that aren't parking spots. I have no power over this. Either get here before 7:30, or take transit.
4. Why on EARTH are college students buying and driving big diesel pickups? Big huge dual-wheel monstrosities, with the bed covers to indicate this truck has NEVER had anything placed in it's pristine bed. And you people commute in these monsters, and then complain about gas and/or finding parking? Listen, I've got a friend named Gravekeeper you need to call. Ask him about pants.
5. When you drive up, see me in the parking booth, make eye contact with me and see me walking to the window, why why WHY do you insist on pulling around in behind the booth? I'm not supposed to open the door, I have cash in there. It is also cold, and while you divert my attention, other people are retards while I'm not watching. I actually got an explanation from a staff member who did this. Her reasoning was that her truck was 'too big' to stop at the booth. This woman is teaching our children people.
6. A Parking Space does not consist of any physical area where your car happens to stop moving. Now, I can understand parking getting a little crazy during the week, when desperate, late students are squeezing in wherever they can in a desperate bid to make it to class. But, on a weekend, when parking is wide open, there is NO excuse for parking in a laneway, much less DOUBLE parking. There are legit parking stalls not 20 feet away, completely free of charge for the weekend. If I had my bylaw training, I'd have you ticketed and towed, and to hell if it ruined little Timmy's little league game or not.
7. You can't park here while towing a goddamned trailer. Ever. I don't care if you're late for class, next time take the 30 seconds it would take to unhitch the thing before leaving home.
8. There are two zones n the Parkade. A zone, for teachers, and B zone, for students. Aside from being on different levels, they are identical. The parkade has an elevator, so the real difference between level 7 (A zone) and level 9 (B zone) is negligible. So DON'T pitch a hissy fit when all the spots in A zone are taken, and you have to park in B zone. There are people who have passes who can't find parking at ALL. Suck it up and endure the extra time it takes the elevator to move two levels more.
9. You've been coming to this campus for at least a semester and a bit now, I see you every day. At 9:30. We're always sold out at 9:30. Always. So WHY do you insist on looking surprised, giving me a dirty look, and peeling out like this is a massive inconvenience? Do you KNOW the definition of madness? I do; It's what's happening to me watching you come by every day, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
That's all I got for now. Expect more in the future.
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