Laws of Returns.

[repsac]

I remember posting this some time ago on another site, and thought I'd repost it here. These are some things I witnessed over the years working in returns.

1.) No matter what happens, it's always the store's fault.

2.) If you save your receipt, you should get your money back. Even if you bought the item two years ago at another store.

3.) Wal-mart owns everything. Therefore all their rules apply to other stores. If wal-mart does it, then they should too.

4.) If your return is denied, bug managment. They'll always override it.

5.) The rules do not apply. EVER.

6.) If you forgot to tie something down and it falls out, always blame the associate for not tying it down for you.

7.) The more far fetched the customer's story, the more likely it's true.

8.) The younger the customer, the more likely they are to argue.

9.) Warranties and Guarantees never expire. Ever.

10.) If you break it, bring it back and they'll fix it.

11.) Just because annuals die every year, means they too apply to the "If it dies in a year, we'll replace it." rule.

[MadonnaC]

9.) Warranties and Guarantees never expire. Ever.

A colleage had a prime example of that - SC upset because [MyCompany] would not pay for the repair to a 20 year old washer

[pbmods]

My favorite return justification:

"I don't like the color."

Did you... not notice the color when you bought it at the store???

And we're not talking nail polish here. We're talking toy sand buckets and toothbrushes, etc.

[hawkchick11]

8.) The younger the customer, the more likely they are to argue.

I don't really agree with that... in my experience, the only people that argued with me over returns were older customers.

[CrazedClerk]

Amen to #3, I HATE customers that use the "W" word when I process returns.

I'm sooo tempted to reply: "do you see a greeter at the door?"

[PhotoChick]

12) if the associate tells you something is not possible (like a cash refund without a receipt) its clearly cause the associate hates you and not because her computer won't allow it.

[Tito]

13) As a last resort, throw a childish tantrum. Also make sure there's plenty of other people around when you do it. That's sure to get the employees or management to cave & do the return for you.

[Spark Dino]

14) Make sure to tell the clerk how much they have harmed you by refusing a return, try to heap on the guilt, for example: "You have ruined Christmas for my family".

[MystyGlyttyr]

My favorite return justification:

"I don't like the color."

Did you... not notice the color when you bought it at the store???

And we're not talking nail polish here. We're talking toy sand buckets and toothbrushes, etc.

Now, I admit...I want a pink toothbrush. When I need to buy new ones, I always buy a pink one. Same for hairbrushes, gym bags, clothes, whatever it is. I want it in pink.

...however, I actually take the time to search for one on the shelf so I can buy it straight away without having to come back and return the green one I just grabbed stupidly and paid for. And if they don't have it in pink, either I don't buy it, or, if I like the style enough, I pick another color.

I guess that makes too much sense, though...

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

15. Never forget rule #4.

[SonOfSpam]

16.) The term "Public Market" translates to "Haggle Mart". If you don't like the price on something you can simply insist we take ten dollars off it, and since we're all obviously uneducated redneck morons, we'll be happy to oblige whilst we spit tobbacco into our spitoons.

[Asarelah]

8.) The younger the customer, the more likely they are to argue.

I've found the opposite to be true, actually. Usually its the old people who are the ones giving me a hard time.

(I'm new, by the way)

[tignish]

#17 if it goes on sale in the next 2 years you should be able to get the difference back.

[Canadian In Maine]

8.) The younger the customer, the more likely they are to argue.

Only if they think you are a pushover and think they can get away with it. I actually have customers avoid me because they know I don't take any kind of crap.

I actually have had more trouble with seniors than any other group but I also know that not all seniors are so crochety. I put it down to age and move on.

Case in point, old man buying a couple of lobsters.

OM - Please put the lobsters in another bag for me. I am travelling a distance and don't want them to spoil. (Said lobsters are only in the traditional transport sac)

ME - If you like I can have one of the deli girls pack them properly for travel. The extra bag you want is actually smaller than the one they are in now. (no extra cost)

OM - Why are you hassling me? I've never had this trouble before.

ME - I am not hassling you sir, I am simply offering you an alternative, there is no cost to pack them for travel.

Why do they get like this? Who knows, but I get more crap from the oldsters than I do teenagers.

[friendofjimmyk]

For restaurants:

18) You can eat your entire meal then tell me that it wasn't cooked right, didn't taste right, smelled funny, etc, etc and the manager will still remove it from your bill. (Unfortunately, this happens too often)

19) Yes, we are happy to split one item 3 or even 4 ways and comp it if it wasn't split right.

20) You can talk on your cell phone while placing your order and act like you listen to the server when they repeat your order back to you and still complain when it comes out because you are sure that's not what you ordered and get it for free even though it was JUST as you ordered and agreed to when it was verified with you. Oh, and that isn't your fault - it's the servers - who wasn't on the phone but who was actually paying attention to what you were saying!