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I work for a very small family-owned software company. One of the major categories of customers we deal with is special educational agencies. Mostly they are a delight to work with, but some are just...
I'm going to call this customer "Sparkle." It's not her real name, but her real name is just as unique and noticeable.
I got the call from Sparkle because she was trying to activate a computer. I got her serial number and found that it was a five-user license and had been activated on more than five computers. She was out of activations.
I gave her the standard spiel to de-activate one of the other computers and she'd be able to activate this one. At that point I expect either she will do what I suggest or give me a valid reason that she's entitled to an extra activation (e.g. hard drive crash, not understanding the instructions, reformats, fire, flood, etc.).
We usually believe people, help them, then make notes all over the account. We know this will let some people scam us, but we'd rather do that than hurt our legitimate customers. We figure the notes will keep the real scammers from doing it too often.
The point is that even scammers know the limits of what they are entitled to and don't pretend otherwise.
But Sparkle did something I didn't expect at all. She flat out told me she expected to activate 20 computers today.
On a 5-user license.
I told her that would not be possible because it was only a 5-user license. She didn't accept that. She already had activated it on 20 computers, you see, and now they weren't working.
I looked at the records and saw that license had definitely not been activated 20 times period. I suggested that maybe they had more than one license and the other 15 activations she recalls were on other licenses?
She insisted they were all on this license and that "someone" at our company had told her she could put it on "as many computers as [she] wanted" and they all had "just stopped working over the holidays."
That rang a bell. Our software will run for 45 days before it MUST be activated. Theoretically, you could install a 5-user license on 20 computers and it would work fine for 45 days, then you'd have to activate for it to work. Since they would not be able to activate all 20 computers after the 45 day period, we certainly would not routinely recommend that people do that. We just don't hate ourselves or anyone else that much.
Naturally, I was curious about this "someone" and asked for a name. She didn't know and told me it was "a gentleman."
I asked her to clarify what "the gentleman" told her.
She said she called and told "the gentleman" that she was doing a training session for 20 students and needed to install her license on 20 computers. "The gentlman" told her that she could install the 5-user license on the 20 computers.
OK. That actually made a weird kind of sense. If someone is doing a one-time training session that doesn't go on for more than 45-days, then doing it that way should work. It's a one-shot deal. I explained the 45-day trial again and explained that it sounded like they ran into the end of the trial period.
She was furious that "the gentleman didn't tell [her] that it wouldn't work after 45-days." There are two things that made me upset here. One is that both the male co-workers who could have talked to her would not fail to mention something like that. As I said, we don't hate ourselves enought to set up a situation like that.
The other thing is that she obviously never told us that wanted 20 permanent installation. If she had, anyone who works here would have tried to sell her 15 additional seats. That because we do like ourselves enough to want to make money.
So I started wondering if she was a scammer. It was either that or her selective hearing was honed to the point where she could string random quotes into whatever she wanted to hear with more skill than a Survivor sound editor.
I simply repeated the way that the our licensing works and referred to the license agreement. I also asked her if she had seen the clearly stated nag message that which stated "[Software] must be activated by [date]."
That's right. Even if "the gentleman" misled her, our software itself told her what was going to happen after day 45.
Repeatedly.
On 20 computers.
And nobody, including her, thought the nag message might mean something.
Of course she ignored my question about the nag message and constantly interrupted and talked over me while I tried to explain things. She started demanding that I do something NOW because she was calling from a classroom session with twenty students who were sitting in front of twenty computers expecting Sparkle to teach them to how to use software that had stopped working weeks ago.
Yes. You read that correctly.
No. The irony that she was training people to use our sofware was not lost on me.
And all of it is our fault.
Miraculously, I actually was able to help her. I checked with Mark and he let me issue her a temporary 20-user training license. That will bail her out of the predicamentshe put herself we put her in.
Naturally, she still kind of hosed because she will need to remove and re-install the program to put the new license on those computers. I could have suggested she make that a class exercise to save time, but thought better of it.
I also gave the free license an expiration date roughly 10 days from now, so they will stop working soon. I mentioned the expiration date no less than three times in the email I sent her. I put exquisite detail in the directions, anticipating every possible misunderstanding and clarifying it. I also mentioned that the software would not work after the expiration date three times in writing. Again.
She called again an hour later because she didn't get the email. I read the email address she gave me back to her. She said it was right. I re-sent the email and waited on the phone to see if she got it.
She didn't. I confirmed the email again, this time clarifying each letter. I got to "N as in Nancy."
What? There's no N in her email address. Never mind that I had read it back to her no less than 4 times with the N and she had agreed it was correct.
So I sent it again without the N. It went through. She wanted me to wait on the phone while we she read it over. I agreed.
She told me she didn't get any of it and started asking questions. Every time I tried to answer a question, she interrupted me to tell me "that doesn't make any sense" and would ask another question.
I began to believe she wasn't scamming or using selective hearing. I now believe my co-worker tried to tell her and she wouldn't shut up long enough to let him finish giving her the information she needed.
So I stopped trying to explain. I just took her through getting one computer up and running (successfully!) using one word prompts.
Continued in part 2...
I'm going to call this customer "Sparkle." It's not her real name, but her real name is just as unique and noticeable.
I got the call from Sparkle because she was trying to activate a computer. I got her serial number and found that it was a five-user license and had been activated on more than five computers. She was out of activations.
I gave her the standard spiel to de-activate one of the other computers and she'd be able to activate this one. At that point I expect either she will do what I suggest or give me a valid reason that she's entitled to an extra activation (e.g. hard drive crash, not understanding the instructions, reformats, fire, flood, etc.).
We usually believe people, help them, then make notes all over the account. We know this will let some people scam us, but we'd rather do that than hurt our legitimate customers. We figure the notes will keep the real scammers from doing it too often.
The point is that even scammers know the limits of what they are entitled to and don't pretend otherwise.
But Sparkle did something I didn't expect at all. She flat out told me she expected to activate 20 computers today.
On a 5-user license.
I told her that would not be possible because it was only a 5-user license. She didn't accept that. She already had activated it on 20 computers, you see, and now they weren't working.
I looked at the records and saw that license had definitely not been activated 20 times period. I suggested that maybe they had more than one license and the other 15 activations she recalls were on other licenses?
She insisted they were all on this license and that "someone" at our company had told her she could put it on "as many computers as [she] wanted" and they all had "just stopped working over the holidays."
That rang a bell. Our software will run for 45 days before it MUST be activated. Theoretically, you could install a 5-user license on 20 computers and it would work fine for 45 days, then you'd have to activate for it to work. Since they would not be able to activate all 20 computers after the 45 day period, we certainly would not routinely recommend that people do that. We just don't hate ourselves or anyone else that much.
Naturally, I was curious about this "someone" and asked for a name. She didn't know and told me it was "a gentleman."
I asked her to clarify what "the gentleman" told her.
She said she called and told "the gentleman" that she was doing a training session for 20 students and needed to install her license on 20 computers. "The gentlman" told her that she could install the 5-user license on the 20 computers.
OK. That actually made a weird kind of sense. If someone is doing a one-time training session that doesn't go on for more than 45-days, then doing it that way should work. It's a one-shot deal. I explained the 45-day trial again and explained that it sounded like they ran into the end of the trial period.
She was furious that "the gentleman didn't tell [her] that it wouldn't work after 45-days." There are two things that made me upset here. One is that both the male co-workers who could have talked to her would not fail to mention something like that. As I said, we don't hate ourselves enought to set up a situation like that.
The other thing is that she obviously never told us that wanted 20 permanent installation. If she had, anyone who works here would have tried to sell her 15 additional seats. That because we do like ourselves enough to want to make money.
So I started wondering if she was a scammer. It was either that or her selective hearing was honed to the point where she could string random quotes into whatever she wanted to hear with more skill than a Survivor sound editor.
I simply repeated the way that the our licensing works and referred to the license agreement. I also asked her if she had seen the clearly stated nag message that which stated "[Software] must be activated by [date]."
That's right. Even if "the gentleman" misled her, our software itself told her what was going to happen after day 45.
Repeatedly.
On 20 computers.
And nobody, including her, thought the nag message might mean something.
Of course she ignored my question about the nag message and constantly interrupted and talked over me while I tried to explain things. She started demanding that I do something NOW because she was calling from a classroom session with twenty students who were sitting in front of twenty computers expecting Sparkle to teach them to how to use software that had stopped working weeks ago.
Yes. You read that correctly.
No. The irony that she was training people to use our sofware was not lost on me.
And all of it is our fault.
Miraculously, I actually was able to help her. I checked with Mark and he let me issue her a temporary 20-user training license. That will bail her out of the predicament
Naturally, she still kind of hosed because she will need to remove and re-install the program to put the new license on those computers. I could have suggested she make that a class exercise to save time, but thought better of it.
I also gave the free license an expiration date roughly 10 days from now, so they will stop working soon. I mentioned the expiration date no less than three times in the email I sent her. I put exquisite detail in the directions, anticipating every possible misunderstanding and clarifying it. I also mentioned that the software would not work after the expiration date three times in writing. Again.
She called again an hour later because she didn't get the email. I read the email address she gave me back to her. She said it was right. I re-sent the email and waited on the phone to see if she got it.
She didn't. I confirmed the email again, this time clarifying each letter. I got to "N as in Nancy."
What? There's no N in her email address. Never mind that I had read it back to her no less than 4 times with the N and she had agreed it was correct.
So I sent it again without the N. It went through. She wanted me to wait on the phone while we she read it over. I agreed.
She told me she didn't get any of it and started asking questions. Every time I tried to answer a question, she interrupted me to tell me "that doesn't make any sense" and would ask another question.
I began to believe she wasn't scamming or using selective hearing. I now believe my co-worker tried to tell her and she wouldn't shut up long enough to let him finish giving her the information she needed.
So I stopped trying to explain. I just took her through getting one computer up and running (successfully!) using one word prompts.
Continued in part 2...
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