My friend is a SC!

[Sylvia727]

Before I get started, yes, this thread contains tipping. I'm from the USA, where tipping is common, and about 15%-20% is standard (for my area, at least). Let's not debate the culture of tipping in here, since my SC friend is also born-and-bred American.

Myself, friend A, and friend B all go out to a midline burger joint one evening. Our section is almost completely empty, despite it being about 7 pm, so our waitress had nothing else to do. She gave us great service, in part because of the emptiness I expect, but she was very friendly and helpful. The kitchen left all the toppings off all our burgers so she went back in and brought out plates with the veggies and cups of the condiments--a separate dish for each person and each person's topping. She brought out the special sauces that we forgot to ask for previously, kept my drink topped off (I drain one of those bitty cups in about five minutes), came by every five minutes to ask how we doing, and just generally made the whole experience pleasant. She also split our checks for us, which I know can be a PITA at certain locations. Mine was about $10--each of my friends had $8. I dug out three dollars and left them on the table. About double the standard tip for this area for her great service. Plus, I felt kind of bad for her since the restaurant was almost empty and we were her only table.

As we were walking to the checkout, I noticed that neither friend left a tip. I asked if they had forgotten...? B tells me that she's charging her tip on the credit card. A doesn't say anything, so I assume that she's doing this as well. We pay, we leave, end of story, right? Of course not. Today I was hanging out with a few friends, including A, when the conversation gets around to tipping. A turned to me, laughing.

A: "You know, you really tip way too much."
Me: *laughs* "Probably, but I can afford it so I do anyway."
A: "The other night I didn't tip the girl at -Burger Joint- anything because you did."
Me: "What? Why not?"
A: "You left three bucks for a $30 bill. That's plenty. And I told B not to tip either."
Me: "First of all, a 10% tip is what I give for crappy service. And second of all, what I tip on my bill has nothing to do with what you tip on yours."
A: "Well, she gave shitty service. She screwed up our food and she took forever bringing everything out."
Me: "I thought she gave great service. But the bottom line is that it's none of your business what I tip, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't try to 'share' when I pay my bill."

She got offended at this point, and another friend steered the conversation away. I just can't believe how rude she was! Depending on your viewpoint, either the waitress got a substandard tip for excellant service, or two of her customers stiffed her. Now I don't want to go out to eat with A anymore I'll probably end up going out with her and just tipping on my credit card so she can't try to "tipsteal". I may even start tipping extra to compensate for her, which I shouldn't have to do, but I feel really bad for the waitstaff who serve her.

[powerboy]

I onced tip shared. A buddy and I were hanging out one night. We decided to grab some Denny's. After we got the bill, I paid since it was my turn. Well I didn't leave a tip, since he mentioned that he would tip. So I used my card and then to the restroom. When I came out, I passed the table and saw only 3 bucks. Since I deposit my checks and cash, I didn't have any on me. When I went back a couple of weeks later, I made sure to give her about a $5.

[rvdammit]

Mistakes happen. Good/Bad service is what is done to fix the problem. In this case an excellent fix worthy of generous tip.

[queenbb]

my dad use to be a bad tipper apparently, till he met my mom, who was working as a waitress at the time. when she told him that the only thing she made was tips he started tipping real good for service. (some places at the time would only have tips as money, most places have an hourly wage plus tips, but its usually lower, and alot of times its lower than minimum wage.)

i always try to tip as much as i can, some times i cant afford to give a big tip but i will give at least 15%. there was only one time i didnt tip that much, andi only left her 1$. i shouldnt have left anything really. her service was horrible, she mocked my order, and she then tried to stiff me on my change. i did report her to the manager btw, i never saw her again after that.

[bainsidhe]

I went out with a friend for breakfast and her under-two-year-old daughter. Of course daughter hand food thrown around and waitress was very friendly, fast, filled beverages, and even offered some extras for daughter. During the meal, I was talking out this webiste and others regarding tipping and my friend just laughed in agreement at general customer stupidity. Imagine my surprise when she left only an 8-9% tip on the bill. In embaressment, I pulled two extra dollars from my purse and tossed it on the table behind her. (I was paying with my charge card and had already put my own tip on there). At least it worked out for the waitress, she got something like $7.00 on a $23.00 bill (breakfast was cheap, but good )

[RecoveringKinkoid]

That's why I don't eat with people who don't tip. It gets expensive after a while.

[gunsage]

I never tip share. Often, especially since I'm married, if we go out with anyone else, unless we OFFER to pay for them, it's a split check. I don't really care if/what they tip. That's none of my business. If they just gave them a $50 and their number, whatever. If they gave them nothing and drew a cock on the tip line, still none o mah biznass. In any case, my typical agenda is...

15%~ = You did a good job. I may not be a regular here or maybe you're not my usual waiter/waitress. Potentially both. You did nothing wrong and you probably did everything right. Even if you did an "okay" job, you're likely to get this. I don't deviate often. I say "15%~" because I start at 15%, then round up the tip to make a nice even total.

20%~ = Not only am I a regular, but you're probably my favorite waiter/waitress. Yeah, this is completely biased, but then, the whole tipping system is anyway when you get to thinking about it. I don't do this in hopes I'll continue to get good service and people will bow at my feet when I enter (hmmm...nah), I do this because you deserve it.

0% = Why are you working this position? You either didn't care about serving me, were a complete snob, rude in general, got our orders COMPLETELY wrong and didn't correct it, or something else ridiculous. I'd like to go on the record saying this and the 20 are EXCEEDINGLY RARE. I never feel obligated to tip. I know that most serving positions you're paid next to nothing and deal with assholes all day. Trust me, I know...my sister-in-law has worked as a waitress for years and really ought to join up here.

In any case, you don't serve me, don't expect a little "sum-in sum-in." Ain't happening. My SIL disagrees with me on this policy of mine, claiming 20% ought to be the baseline, but no. But anyway, yes, if I'm offering to pay for the whole check, you just lucked out because as long as you're not a colossal ****up (and trust me, it takes a lot for me to recognize that and you deserve a medal if I do), you'll get a nice tip.

Edit: I just realized I didn't quite stay on topic. I can fully understand for you not wanting to go out with your friends anymore. And I can also understand you being upset that they don't tip the way you think they ought to. Remember, though, that's still their business. If it really bothers you that much, yeah, you ought not go out with them anymore. Not for eating, anyway. Regardless of what my friends are tipping, I'd never overcompensate on their behalf. Maybe they had an entirely different opinion on what constitutes "good service." Don't let it get to you. This isn't something worth losing friends over.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I understand your point of view, and really, you're right. It's not my business, technically, what they tip.

But my problem with non or bad tipping friends is that if I'm a regular somewhere, I sure don't want to get painted with the same brush as a non-tipper. You really are judged by the company you keep. If I go out with a bunch of friends, and I'm the only one who tips, then the server loses money on the table. That's all he's gonna remember, and I get branded as "one of those cheap assholes." Next time I go in, I get crappy service. Not a rep I want for myself. It's not fair or right, but that's the way it is, unfortunately.

[gunsage]

Well that's why I'm saying just don't go out eating with them, then. And if they say why, you can be subtle and just say "Well, because of last time" or you can be a blatant asshole and go "'Cause you're a cheap ass!" I'm just saying that if these guys are really your friends, I wouldn't go so far as to not hang out with them over this.

[Catwoman2965]

My friends and I generally just split the bill; including tip...we pretty much always order stuff around the same price - and it all evens out the in the end. So whatever the bill is, we figure the tip, add it to the total, and then split it.

I did howver, add more one time, but this was a different situation. I was on a cruise last year, with another friend, and you tip the cabin steward, waiter, etc. The cruiseline "recommends" certain amounts per day, per each position, but you can certainly tip more or less, if you feel so inclined. They even give you slips if you choose to add the tips to your final account, and the staff takes those vouchers and then gets the $$.

The way it works, you each get your own vouchers, but only one envelope per cabin, per staff member. My friend saw no need to tip more than the recommended amount, but I did. Rather than argue with her, and as she left it up to me to put the vouchers in the correct envelopes, etc. I simply took hers, put it in, and took the extra $$ i was tipping, in cash, and folded it with the voucher on the outside, so there was no question it was from me, and not both of us. I figured since she wasn't interrested in tipping any extra, then I was going to make sure they knew it was from me, and not both of us.

[jedifarfy]

The only people I really go out with are coworkers, and we always tip minimum 15%, just because we know what they deal with amd it's courtesy. And we're usually almost all drunk (gotta have a driver or two!). I've never not tipped for bad service, since we can usually tell right away if it'll be a good experience or bad. Somehow I end up being the one to determin the tip for each receipt, whicih I can do surprisingly well even after several drinks.

JF

[jacob]

As a delivery driver I know what it's like to work for tips. So whenever I go to a restaurant I try to tip very good. Unless the service was bad. There have been many times when I have tipped as much as the bill was. Or more.

[Becks]

I find it embarassing to go out with a non-tipping person.

I always bring extra cash, just in case.

[raideo]

My friends and I will tally up the total and try to get a reasonable %, in other words me and my friend dylan take turns covering the tip because we are the only two that ever have any money.

[rerant]

This will probably get me some flack, but I sincerely loathe the concept of tippinng (in specific establishments), mostly when it comes to tipping bartenders who are only opening a drink for me. However I reluctantly hand over extra cash and would feel embarassed if I didn't.
That said I know why tipping is done and I know why people flip if someone doesn't tip well or at all, but I can say with complete certainty how much people are making at the particular places I visit, and if you knew that someone was pulling in almost $13/hr because they're friends with the owner you wouldn't want to hand them a tip either.