I want a technician to come change my home page now now now now now! (long)

[Anriana]

I work for a large cable company. Our techs are really only trained in plugging modems in and checking their signal strength; they are not computer magicians. We are only allowed to schedule trouble calls for certain issues (basically bad signals) because our techs are only trained to do a small number of things. Some people get us confused with Geek Squad and think our techs will fix everything. They usually understand that our techs can only do a few things after we explain this. Usually....



"Thank you for calling, how can I help?"
"I want you to know that I am very unhappy! I paid for a technician to come and set up my internet two days ago and I haven't been able to get online! Rabble rabble rabble."
"Okay, that certainly does sound frustrating, let me look into this, what's the phone number?"
*verified account*
"Well, it looks like your modem is already provisioned so it shouldn't be trying to provision it again... do you have our disc in your computer?"
"What disc?!!? The technician didn't give me a disc, how could I be using it?"
"No disc then, are you using a router?"
"A what?"
"A router, it's used for multiple computers or a wireless connection."
"No, I don't have wireless, I have CABLE INTERNET. This is <company> CABLE INTERNET, isn't it?"
"Yes ma'am it is, but some customers choose to purchase a router for a wireless connection. Let's just verify that we have the right modem here."
"Ugh, I can't believe I have to do all of this! I PAID for a technician to set this up! Rabble rabble rabble RABBLE rabble!"
"Okay, it looks like that's the modem you're using, let's just restart the computer."
"RABBLE RABBLE rabble rabble rabble rabble rabble! Okay, my computer is rebooted, now I click on <company> click here to get started!"
"Wait, no, you want to click on Internet Explorer."
"I DON'T SEE INTERNET EXPLORER ON MY DESKTOP! I JUST SEE <COMPANY> CLICK HERE!"
"That's okay, we can find it from your program list"
"Ugh, I can't believe I have to do this! The tech should have made a shortcut for me!"
"Click on start, then click on programs. Do you see where it says Internet Explorer?"
"NO I DON'T SEE TH- oh there it is."
"Great, click on that and it should open up a new window for -"
"Welcome to Internet Explorer, customize your settings."
"Okay, let's try going to go google."
"How do I do that? It doesn't say google anywhere on the page. WHY DIDN'T THE TECH I PAID TO INSTALL THE INTERNET PUT GOOGLE ON IT?"
"Erm... do you see the address bar?"
"Yes." (I was amazed that she was able to find it this quickly; most people have a lot of trouble with it)
"Great, erase everything and type in www.google.com"
"I can't BELIEVE I have to do this to pull up a page, rabble rabble, it took me to google."
"Okay, type in the word 'apple.'"
"Official Apple store, Find Macbook Air -"
"Okay, great, it looks like that came up! You're online now."
"NO, I DON'T HAVE INTERNET EXPLORER ON MY DESKTOP."
"Um okay, I can walk you through that, just click on start -"
"Why didn't your tech do this? I PAID for him to come here, rabble rabble rabble."
"Our techs actually aren't there to rearrange your desktop, they're there to connect your modem."
"NO, I *PAID* for him to get me online."
"You are online."
"NO, there is no internet explorer on my desktop."
"I am trying to help you with that..."
"Ugh, I can't believe I have to do this over the phone, I PAID to have this done, rabble rabble rabble."
Finally got her an IE icon on her desktop and thought we were done...
"WHERE'S MY HOME PAGE? MY DAUGHTER HAS A <company> HOME PAGE, I KNOW I GET ONE TOO, WHERE IS IT WHERE IS IT WHERE IS IT?"
"Um, ma'am, the home page is just whatever site you set it to, -"
"No, it should be <company>!"
"Okay, we can set it to that."
"NO, I paid for your tech to set this up!"
"Umm..."
"I am TIRED of doing this over the phone, I PAID for it, send a tech here to get me my <company> home page!"
"Ma'am, we are not scheduling a tech to come out and change your home page. That is not what they are there for. We can do that over the phone."
"WHAT?!??!?!? I *PAID* for a tech to do this and I want a tech now! I am tired of wasting my time over the phone! You've done absolutely nothing! Schedule a tech."
"Nothing? I showed you how to access the internet and how to get internet explorer on your desktop."
"I want a tech now now now now now!!! I *PAID*!!!!"
"Ma'am, we are *not* going to schedule a technician to change your home page. We can do that on the phone."
"Are you paid to argue with customers young lady?"
"I am paid to follow company policy..."
"I WANT A TECH NOW!"
"We are not going to schedule a tech for this... -"
"Get me someone who can!"
"No one in this call center is going to schedule a technician for this!"
"LIES!! I called in two days ago and spoke to a girl with an accent and she scheduled a tech for me!"
"An accent? Like... an Indian accent?" (we have outsourced call centers that aren't very well trained at troubleshooting and schedule a trouble call whenever possible)
"I can't tell them apart! Now, I want a tech!"
"Ma'am, we are not going to schedule a tech for this -"
"Get me a supervisor!"
"Certainly, just one moment."

[TequilaSunrise]

My brain hurts.

Damn, you must have the patience of a saint. I would've eaten the phone!

[Retail Associate]

Some people just shouldn't own a computer.



.

[marasbaras]

So glad I don't do phones. I'd have terminated the call early in. Just STFU lady. She's paying almost nothing for the service and wants people to spend hours with her.

[Bright_Star]

She would have been better off with a calculator.

[TNT]

Some days, I think I miss talking to customers... then I remember calls like the above.

[Peppergirl]

Ugh.

Please tell me the supv didn't give in to her.

[MTNLaurelPoacher]

A computer is only as smart as its user.

[Geek King]

A computer is only as smart as its user.

And sometimes smarter.

"The computer won't let me delete this useless folder from my drive!"
"What folder would that be?"
"Its called SYSTEM. I never use it, and its taking up a lot of space!"

This is why we set so many restrictions on permissions.

[gunsage]

Wow...I feel for you there. Never had someone get so obnoxious over something as minor as that, but yes, you get people like that. What I would've said was "Certainly, ma'am, we CAN get someone out there, but you'd have to pay for the truck trip and since it's not priority, I'm not able to guarantee he'll be out in the next few days. If that's acceptable, I will certainly send one out, but will also be noting your account that you were unwilling to troubleshoot, which may affect our willingness to assist you in the future."

[Alpha Strike]

Rabble rabble rabble RABBLE rabble!

Great South Park reference. I can almost imagine this idiot in 2D form, with her little head bouncing up and down angrily while going "Rabble Rabble Rabble!"

By the way what ended up happening once the call went to a supervisor?

[freeatlast]

When I worked in the Call Center, we had to assist customers in navigating our website. When we got calls from customers who had no business owning a computer we would threaten to revoke their internet drivers license.

[Liminality]

My God.

If she would just shut up and listen... >_>

[donruss]

This is what AoL has brought us. I love the people that think the internet and the world wide web are two different things.

[Chevy Nachos]

Good Lord, what a nutjob.

If it were me, evil person that I am, I might have directed her to open up something in her registry and delete it so that her computer would be an expensive paperweight.