Toilets, customers and other black holes (gross part)

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

The story of my first shift doing carryouts and carts since last year:

I have a crappy job (gross)
To the two ladies who shit all over the floor in the womens room today and were apparently born in a barn and probably still live in one:

For Pete's sake, why can't you sit on a toilet seat like a normal human being? Why do you have to hover without making sure your holes are lined up? Are you afraid of catching some dread toilet seat-borne disease? Both times the shit was on the wall and the floor behind the toilet. It is apparent to me that at no time during your Number Twos did your asscheeks touch the seat.

I ended up cleaning up your messes. No need to thank me. Nobody ever does anyway.

I must be dead. I speak; nobody hears me

Customer: Do you have this massager? (referring to a $24.99 back massager on sale for $19.99 and there were none on the shelf)
Me: I can check that for you (punch a couple buttons on my scanner). Yes, I believe we do. I'll go get some. I'll be right back.

I hotfoot it to the backroom and upstairs and bring down a whole case of massagers

Customer: (as I'm putting the massagers on the shelf) Say, will those be going on sale for a lower price?

Simply by you asking this, I now secretly loathe you. Corporate wants us to sell items at the highest price possible so we don't have to tank our margins. Also, why not buy the massager now instead of waiting for a better sale when we may not have it for you? But I'll humor you and check....

Me: (punching more buttons on my scanner) I see the massager will be going on sale February 8 and 9 for $14.99
Customer: Really?
Me: Yes
Customer: Both days?
Me: Mmm-hmmm
Customer: February 8...
Me: That's right
Customer: and February 9?
Me: Yup
Customer: Really?
Me: Yes (thinking "No...it won't go on sale again until February 31 doof)
Customer: Both days?
Me: Correct

And then the customer left sans massager.

A flagrant act of parenting

PA: *boop! Customer assistance to candy please! Thank you!

I saunter on over to candy to see who needs help and encounter a mom with her two boys
Mom: Oh, that was us. He (motioning to the younger boy) pushed the button as a joke. (to the younger boy) What do you say to the worker now?
Boy: I'm sorry
Me: Hey, maybe in a few years when you grow up you can get a job here and answer those call buttons!
Mom and boys laugh a little
Me: Don't sweat it. It happens all the time. There's worse things he could have done.

Nice to see a parent keeping their kids under control and apologizing for the inconvenience their children caused!

[Liminality]

Awesome. Good on her!

and just wtf @ the first story... o_O

[TequilaSunrise]

God, I feel soooo sorry for the workers who have to clean up poo. No way could I deal with that. God, I hate people. Sorry you had to do that. You should have forced whatshisname to do it, and rubbed his nose in it if he resisted.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

If by "whatshisname" you mean CBFH, he wasn't working today. His hours have been cut big time. I think he only has about 13 hours next week and he was originally being given full-time hours when he was hired.

Next week I will have more shifts on carryouts and carts than he will.

[bigjimaz]

I hope, for the sake of company profits and the chagrin of the SC, that you sell all of them in stock before 2/8.

[Retail Associate]

SCs ask us all the time if/when an item will go on sale and we can honestly say, "I don't know." It's always a secret at my store. We peons are not made aware ahead of time and when the new ads arrive at the store, they are locked up in a wire cage (until the sale starts) so we can't see them. They don't want us buying up all the stock before the SCs can get to it.

Note: I wouldn't buy the junk we sell anyway. It's all the same low quality, made in China/Taiwan/Vietnam crap sold at Wal*Mart, but at higher prices.

.

[AKWalMartCartGuy]

why would corporate allow you to tell customers when things are going on sale? am I the only one who wouldn't give answers to that even if I had them?

[marasbaras]

I'm with AKWallyWorldGuy ... if I were your corporate, no way I'd let you know when things were going to on sale. Customers would find out and demand that you tell them when they can come in at reduced profits.

That's not why they're in business.

[Sliceanddice]

I must be dead. I speak; nobody hears me

Customer: Do you have this massager? (referring to a $24.99 back massager on sale for $19.99 and there were none on the shelf)
Me: I can check that for you (punch a couple buttons on my scanner). Yes, I believe we do. I'll go get some. I'll be right back.

I hotfoot it to the backroom and upstairs and bring down a whole case of massagers

Customer: (as I'm putting the massagers on the shelf) Say, will those be going on sale for a lower price?

Simply by you asking this, I now secretly loathe you. Corporate wants us to sell items at the highest price possible so we don't have to tank our margins. Also, why not buy the massager now instead of waiting for a better sale when we may not have it for you? But I'll humor you and check....

Me: (punching more buttons on my scanner) I see the massager will be going on sale February 8 and 9 for $14.99
Customer: Really?
Me: Yes
Customer: Both days?
Me: Mmm-hmmm
Customer: February 8...
Me: That's right
Customer: and February 9?
Me: Yup
Customer: Really?
Me: Yes (thinking "No...it won't go on sale again until February 31 doof)
Customer: Both days?
Me: Correct

And then the customer left sans massager.

wait wait wait im having a vision. It involves this customer a very beautiful color of purple, screaming, a sale, and no more massager.
Or maybe thats a wish...

[gunsage]

I have a crappy job (gross)

Keeping in mind I work in a call center, a very nice, well maintained corporate environment-style call center, where you're expected to wear business casual clothing about 90% of the time, etc...take the following situation...

We have a handicapped stall. Now, we don't have a LOT of handicapped employees, just some. In any case, there are some people that use the stall that aren't, well, handicapped. I mean, that happens, whatever, no biggie. In any case, there was one time when one of my coworkers walked out of the bathroom absolutely mortified.

Me: "Dude...what's wrong?"
CW: "Uh...um...there's a 'mess' in the bathroom."
Me: "What do you mean?"
CW: "I'll just say this: do NOT enter the handicapped stall. I feel sorry for our janitors."

Now come on...you can't leave it like that. Needless to say, I took my cell with me and went to the handicapped stall. ZOMG THERE WAS SHIT ON THE WALL! Yes, I took a pic. Yes, I showed it to everyone. Yes, I reported it. And yes, I still have the pic on my phone. We SUSPECT who may have done it but we have no proof. If it is who we think it is, we believe he may have mental problems already and really aren't sure how to go about approaching him assuming we can establish evidence first.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Oh, man, I feel for you. We used to get shit on the wall all the time at Kinko's. My two year old doesnt' shit on the wall. She doens't play around with poo. Yet adults do it?

Some people are basically shaved apes.

[gunsage]

Well, like I said, we suspect this one dude. If it really is him, we're pretty sure, though not 100%, that he may have mental issues. If that's the case, we'll have to approach this carefully. I'm not saying this because any of us are afraid of him, but rather because of possible legal backlash.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

why would corporate allow you to tell customers when things are going on sale? am I the only one who wouldn't give answers to that even if I had them?

I'm with AKWallyWorldGuy ... if I were your corporate, no way I'd let you know when things were going to on sale. Customers would find out and demand that you tell them when they can come in at reduced profits.

That's not why they're in business.

It's not really that corporate told us to look it up if somebody asks or not to. It's been beat out of me by a couple SCs.

I started out by telling people that there wasn't a way to look up future ads in the scanner, but then one day I got a customer who wouldn't take no for an answer and started insisting, loudly and indignantly, that we could look up the ads and somebody had done it for him before.

A co-worker walking by heard this and asked what was going on. Customer said I told him we couldn't look up future ads. Co-worker says "Oh, sure we can!" and goes right in and does it.

I then started telling people that function wasn't working and if anybody asked me to check, I'd hit random buttons on the scanner and pretend to try and check. Little did I know the customer was looking over my shoulder and saw me go into...I don't know, the backroom locator or something.

Shit! Caught in a lie again.

I may have to try another tactic...go into the function to look up ads but then lie about whether or not an item really will be on sale.

[mattm04]

It's nice to see parents, parenting. SC's would have just ran off making you search for the custoemr who needed help.

[Toujin]

Really nice to see a parent acting sensibly, in that she made her kid apologize and apologized herself, but didn't make a huge scene by screaming at the poor kids, or just laugh because she thoughtr it was 'cute'