The Wannabe
In this town, we have basically two kinds of people. Those that have money and make it well known that they do, and those that don’t but try to put on as if they did, each equally as sucky in their own way. This is a story of one of the latter. Like most every laundromat I’ve been in, ours is an all-cash business. We don’t accept checks for anything and there isn’t a card reader anywhere in the building that would facilitate us taking credit/debit cards. On a very basic level, if you don’t have a pocketful of silver or a few pieces of green paper with dead president’s pictures on them, you’re SOL.
This lady comes in looking to pick up her clothes after we washed and folded them for her.
DL: Ditzy Lady
I was doing a load of wash for a customer when she walks up to the office. I greet her and then this:
DL: (looking down her nose at me) I’m here to pick up my clothes.
ME: And the name please?
DL: Ditzy
ME: Here you go Ms. Ditzy. That’ll be $14.00
DL: (reaches into her obviously fake Coach™ handbag, (the font on the “C” logo was wrong) pulling out her checkbook) Who do I make this out to?
ME: I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t take checks, only cash.
DL: That’s rediculous. I write checks all the time.
ME: I’m sorry ma’am, there’s nothing I can do. We only take cash.
DL: (huffing) I’ll use my debit card then.
ME: (oh crap, did she just notice me roll my eyes at her?) We only take cash, ma’am.
DL: Wha... You... I... Why are you making this so hard on me?
ME: You’re making it hard on yourself, ma’am. I’ve explained three times that we only take cash.
DL: says nothing, having been horribly defeated by logic and truth, reaches into her purse and pulls out a small money clip.
She paid me with a ten and 4 singles which shocked me slightly. I truly was expecting one of two things; either her handing me a $100 bill or not having any cash at all. Anyway, she stacks her laundry baskets and carry’s them both out to her car which was...
wait for it...
a mid 80's, rusted Ford Crown Victoria station wagon...
with no hubcaps.
Fail²
It starts...
Well, the suck has begun over the impending price hike. Why do people think that I am the one who raised the price just because I work there? They are bitching because it’s going to cost them a whole 50¢ more per load. I mean, come on! You’re not getting any sympathy from me when you’re driving a $75,000.00 Hummer H2 with “24's” and a sound system that can be heard on the International Space Station.
No, I’m not bitter. Why do you ask?
Hey Bud. I know a nice lady with a cool Crown Vic I could introduce you to.
Some people’s children...
A lady came in on Friday. At first I didn’t notice anything out of the usual. As I watched for a while I realized that she was using a whole bank of 9 washers to do what would normally be two to three loads. Instead of the three or four basic washing groups, (whites, colors, etc.) she separated her whites into one washer, reds into another, blues into another, greens into another and you get the idea. Every color had it’s own washer. She did the same thing when she dried them. I didn’t say anything because it wasn’t busy and I figured if she wanted to spend $22.50 on what would normally cost $5.00 to $7.50, more power to her. Job security for me.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
OK, I need to know. Is there a set or preferential way that people fold their underwear or are these people just being picky and want it done their way? I had another person (second one in a month) bitch at me because I folded his tighty-whiteys wrong. I lay them on the counter front side up, fold the crotch up to the waistband then fold the right part of the waistband over the crotch then the left part of the waistband over the right. What in the Benny Hill am I doing wrong?
This is a Laundromat not a bank X 2
1. Sorry dude, but coming into a Laundromat, handing me a $50.00 bill and asking for change for the parking meter isn’t going to cause me to add you to my Christmas card list, especially if you’re not going to put any of the change you want me to give you into one or more of our machines.
2. I don’t mind helping people out when I have time, but when you ask me to go through about $300.00 worth of rolled quarters to see if there are any Pennsylvania or Delaware state quarters, you’re not going to get as positive response as you think you are.
In this town, we have basically two kinds of people. Those that have money and make it well known that they do, and those that don’t but try to put on as if they did, each equally as sucky in their own way. This is a story of one of the latter. Like most every laundromat I’ve been in, ours is an all-cash business. We don’t accept checks for anything and there isn’t a card reader anywhere in the building that would facilitate us taking credit/debit cards. On a very basic level, if you don’t have a pocketful of silver or a few pieces of green paper with dead president’s pictures on them, you’re SOL.
This lady comes in looking to pick up her clothes after we washed and folded them for her.
DL: Ditzy Lady
I was doing a load of wash for a customer when she walks up to the office. I greet her and then this:
DL: (looking down her nose at me) I’m here to pick up my clothes.
ME: And the name please?
DL: Ditzy
ME: Here you go Ms. Ditzy. That’ll be $14.00
DL: (reaches into her obviously fake Coach™ handbag, (the font on the “C” logo was wrong) pulling out her checkbook) Who do I make this out to?
ME: I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t take checks, only cash.
DL: That’s rediculous. I write checks all the time.
ME: I’m sorry ma’am, there’s nothing I can do. We only take cash.
DL: (huffing) I’ll use my debit card then.
ME: (oh crap, did she just notice me roll my eyes at her?) We only take cash, ma’am.
DL: Wha... You... I... Why are you making this so hard on me?
ME: You’re making it hard on yourself, ma’am. I’ve explained three times that we only take cash.
DL: says nothing, having been horribly defeated by logic and truth, reaches into her purse and pulls out a small money clip.
She paid me with a ten and 4 singles which shocked me slightly. I truly was expecting one of two things; either her handing me a $100 bill or not having any cash at all. Anyway, she stacks her laundry baskets and carry’s them both out to her car which was...
wait for it...
a mid 80's, rusted Ford Crown Victoria station wagon...
with no hubcaps.
Fail²
It starts...
Well, the suck has begun over the impending price hike. Why do people think that I am the one who raised the price just because I work there? They are bitching because it’s going to cost them a whole 50¢ more per load. I mean, come on! You’re not getting any sympathy from me when you’re driving a $75,000.00 Hummer H2 with “24's” and a sound system that can be heard on the International Space Station.
No, I’m not bitter. Why do you ask?

Hey Bud. I know a nice lady with a cool Crown Vic I could introduce you to.
Some people’s children...
A lady came in on Friday. At first I didn’t notice anything out of the usual. As I watched for a while I realized that she was using a whole bank of 9 washers to do what would normally be two to three loads. Instead of the three or four basic washing groups, (whites, colors, etc.) she separated her whites into one washer, reds into another, blues into another, greens into another and you get the idea. Every color had it’s own washer. She did the same thing when she dried them. I didn’t say anything because it wasn’t busy and I figured if she wanted to spend $22.50 on what would normally cost $5.00 to $7.50, more power to her. Job security for me.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
OK, I need to know. Is there a set or preferential way that people fold their underwear or are these people just being picky and want it done their way? I had another person (second one in a month) bitch at me because I folded his tighty-whiteys wrong. I lay them on the counter front side up, fold the crotch up to the waistband then fold the right part of the waistband over the crotch then the left part of the waistband over the right. What in the Benny Hill am I doing wrong?
This is a Laundromat not a bank X 2
1. Sorry dude, but coming into a Laundromat, handing me a $50.00 bill and asking for change for the parking meter isn’t going to cause me to add you to my Christmas card list, especially if you’re not going to put any of the change you want me to give you into one or more of our machines.
2. I don’t mind helping people out when I have time, but when you ask me to go through about $300.00 worth of rolled quarters to see if there are any Pennsylvania or Delaware state quarters, you’re not going to get as positive response as you think you are.
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