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Some of our less fortunate clients think that anyone they come in contact with at our firm has a therapist’s certification. It’s highly annoying and here’s a call I got at the start of business today.
ME: Thank you for calling Law Firm, this is Nic. How can I help you?
CLIENT: I got this letter, it says it’s from Law Firm. That you, right?
ME: Yes, that’s us. Did you have a question about the letter?
CLIENT: Do I gotta appear? It says I gotta appear!
ME: What’s your last name, sir?
CLIENT: What?
ME: I just need your name to look up your file.
CLIENT: Oh, it’s Client.
ME: Thank you so much. Please hold. (Looks through letter. It says we continued his case and nowhere does it say anywhere he has to appear. It does say that we’ve asked him repeatedly for three months to provide proof of restitution for his accident along with a payment schedule for the injured party. Takes him off hold.) Sir? You’re calling about your case in Court 2, correct?
CLIENT: Court 2, yeah! I gotta appear?
ME: No, you don’t. But we still require proof of restitution and a payment plan. You were supposed to provide it before August 21st.
CLIENT: Yeah... about that. My sister was supposed to take care of my payment for me and yesterday, just yesterday, I get a call from my insurance company guy and he’s all like, you didn’t make your payment. And I call my sister and she forgot to send it!
ME: But you’ve sent the payment now?
CLIENT: And I hate to bother my sister because she’s helping me out because I broke my leg playing football, not real football, but messing around in my backyard during a barbeque so now I got no job because I work construction. My wife, she keeps yelling at me about getting a new job but who’s gonna hire a construction worker with a broke leg?
ME: I see your point. Has the payment been sent to the insurance company?
CLIENT: I mean, I can’t get her off my back. Then I got this accident case... all this piles up and I’m starting to get medical issues from not being able to move around so much.
ME: That’s terrible. But sir, I really need to know---
CLIENT: If you was married to a guy who had a broke leg and he worked construction and didn't know anything else would you bug him about getting another job? I don't know what else I can do and she keeps complaining.
ME: (Thinking: I'm a lesbian and my girlfriend is a grad student so this totally isn't applicable.) I'm not sure what I would do, sir. But I really do need to know if the payment has been sent.
CLIENT: Yeah, she sent it. Insurance guy said soon as he gets it he’ll fax you the confirmation.
ME: Thank you so much sir. You have a great day.
CLIENT: Wait!
ME: Yes?
CLIENT: So I don’t gotta appear, right?
ME: Correct. You don’t have to appear.
CLIENT: Thanks.
ME: Thank you for calling Law Firm, this is Nic. How can I help you?
CLIENT: I got this letter, it says it’s from Law Firm. That you, right?
ME: Yes, that’s us. Did you have a question about the letter?
CLIENT: Do I gotta appear? It says I gotta appear!
ME: What’s your last name, sir?
CLIENT: What?
ME: I just need your name to look up your file.
CLIENT: Oh, it’s Client.
ME: Thank you so much. Please hold. (Looks through letter. It says we continued his case and nowhere does it say anywhere he has to appear. It does say that we’ve asked him repeatedly for three months to provide proof of restitution for his accident along with a payment schedule for the injured party. Takes him off hold.) Sir? You’re calling about your case in Court 2, correct?
CLIENT: Court 2, yeah! I gotta appear?
ME: No, you don’t. But we still require proof of restitution and a payment plan. You were supposed to provide it before August 21st.
CLIENT: Yeah... about that. My sister was supposed to take care of my payment for me and yesterday, just yesterday, I get a call from my insurance company guy and he’s all like, you didn’t make your payment. And I call my sister and she forgot to send it!
ME: But you’ve sent the payment now?
CLIENT: And I hate to bother my sister because she’s helping me out because I broke my leg playing football, not real football, but messing around in my backyard during a barbeque so now I got no job because I work construction. My wife, she keeps yelling at me about getting a new job but who’s gonna hire a construction worker with a broke leg?
ME: I see your point. Has the payment been sent to the insurance company?
CLIENT: I mean, I can’t get her off my back. Then I got this accident case... all this piles up and I’m starting to get medical issues from not being able to move around so much.
ME: That’s terrible. But sir, I really need to know---
CLIENT: If you was married to a guy who had a broke leg and he worked construction and didn't know anything else would you bug him about getting another job? I don't know what else I can do and she keeps complaining.
ME: (Thinking: I'm a lesbian and my girlfriend is a grad student so this totally isn't applicable.) I'm not sure what I would do, sir. But I really do need to know if the payment has been sent.
CLIENT: Yeah, she sent it. Insurance guy said soon as he gets it he’ll fax you the confirmation.
ME: Thank you so much sir. You have a great day.
CLIENT: Wait!
ME: Yes?
CLIENT: So I don’t gotta appear, right?
ME: Correct. You don’t have to appear.
CLIENT: Thanks.
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