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  • #1

    Worst Lawyer EVER

    I received a call that other day which ended in this lawyer's name burned forever in my brain.
    M-Me
    PS-Poor frazzled secretary

    M-Thank you for calling This Bookstore, how may I help you?
    PS-Oh my god, you have to help me! The lawyer I work for thinks he forgot something in your store!
    M-Okay, what is it?
    PS-An envelope. It's got really important court documents in it!! He needs it NOW!!!
    M-Oh my god! Well, what does it look like? When was he in here???
    PS- I DON'T KNOW!!! He just told me it was an envelope, with his name, Idiot Lawyer, on it and he thinks he was in your store, either today or yesterday! But he could also have been in this restaurant or this other store! He just can't remember! He needs those documents!
    M-....Oh no...Well, can you ask him what the envelope looks like?
    PS-I can't!! He's in court RIGHT NOW and he needs them now!!!!

    M-Ohhh....Well, I will do my best, can you give me your name and number so if I find them, I'll call you?
    PS rattles off her name and the lawyer's name again and the phone number.
    PS-THANK YOU so much for any help you can give! He's going to lose this case!
    M-Um, bye...

    No, I did not find the envelope. I even checked in our law section since I figured he might have been there.
    I will never ever forget his name though, and I will never ever hire him.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Lack of short term memory, CHECK
    Lack of prior preparation CHECK
    Inability to communicate to insubrordinates during emergency, CHECK

    Hmm, I think we all need to avoid this guy

    I think this chap needs to be reminded of the 5'P's.
    A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

    Comment

    • #3
      How many people have left umbrellas, purses, books, keys, cell phones and other items in stores. It can happen. It only takes a moment of distraction to forget something.

      That said, I think this shows more of a very poor preparation on the lawyer's part for whatever case he was trying in that he did not discover the envelope's absence until he was in the court room. That means he did not check everything before he left for court. I also have to wonder WHY the attorney would take something that important into a book store. What possible purpose did the contents of that envelope serve to his browsing the latest New York Times best sellers?

      And I can assure you he probably was not in the law section of the store as most of those books are designed for non-lawyers. Law books and other books attorneys might need in their practice (updated and annotated statutes, form book series, etc.) usually are bought through the mail from specific publishers as these change and therefore must be purchased yearly. This guy probably was there to buy something in fiction.
      Last edited by South Texan; 02-11-2008, 01:21 PM.
      "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
      .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

      Comment

      • #4
        Quoth South Texan View Post
        And I can assure you he probably was NOT in the law section of the store as most of those books are designed for non-lawyers.
        Well...

        >_>
        <_<
        Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

        http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

        Comment

        • #5
          It depends on the bookstore, my local one does have legal texts and various acts, such as PACE etc
          A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

          Comment

          • #6
            What I'm most wondering is why, if those documents were SO important, was he toting them around with him in a bookstore?
            I don't know about you guys but if I had something that important I'd leave in the car.

            Comment

            • #7
              Quoth rerant View Post
              I don't know about you guys but if I had something that important I'd leave in the car.
              I handle some documents that I'm not allowed to leave in vehicles, maybe this is the case here...
              A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

              Comment

              • #8
                Quoth crazylegs View Post
                I handle some documents that I'm not allowed to leave in vehicles, maybe this is the case here...
                If that's the case you'd think he'd have kept better track of it. I can understand losing an umbrella...I keep a better eye on things whose loss could, ya know, get me fired or something...

                And B&N does have legal stuff for professionals as well as non-lawyers...(though the amount of each they carry will probably vary by store).
                I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth crazylegs View Post
                  I handle some documents that I'm not allowed to leave in vehicles, maybe this is the case here...
                  Even then, this is why briefcases were invented. I'm not a lawyer, but I even have a leather folder thing-y I keep stuff like resume/cover letter/important documents in just so that they're zipped in to something and cannot be left anywhere, without leaving the whole darn thing.
                  "In the end I was the mean girl/or somebody's in between girl"~Neko Case

                  “You don't need many words if you already know what you're talking about.” ~William Stafford

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    I'm having it burned into my brain right now how important it is to never miss a legal deadline (paralegal course), and that just sounds like someone who never paid attention in law school. Ouch.

                    You've got the right idea, Blueberry - never hire that guy but hope like crazy that he's representing the other side!
                    Not all who wander are lost.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
                      If that's the case you'd think he'd have kept better track of it.
                      Oh good lord yes indeedy, if I were to lose say an OP Order my neck and head would soon be parting company
                      A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Quoth South Texan View Post

                        And I can assure you he probably was NOT in the law section of the store as most of those books are designed for non-lawyers.
                        Well, from the sound of it, that guy wasn't much of a lawyer either
                        - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Well, we now know what Lionel Hutz is up to.
                          Unseen but seeing
                          oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                          There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                          3rd shift needs love, too
                          RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Me's thinks that whatever envelope he lost/misplaced/ate has nothing or little to do with the immediate case at hand. and here's why:

                            1. Documents are filed ahead of time (prior to standing before Mr. Judge). What happens is that a certain number of copies are filed with the court, a certain number (at least 1 sometimes more) is sent to opposing council. Normally what happens will be as follows (if it is a motion/brief by the plantiffs side) 2 copies for plantiff (1 for atty, 1 for the actual plantiff), 1 for the judge (if its a district case being presided over by a panel of judges then there will be more, anywhere from 5-18) and then at least 1 or 2 for the defendent. These are all delivered by legal courier (usually a process server) who will fill out a proof of service and have the 1 copy also Conformed, filed with the courts and stamped and entered into record.

                            There is no way that these documents get lost, there is a huge trail.

                            The legal books at a bookstore would never be sufficient for a legal case, there are law libraries that attorneys can use if they don't have their own. Most attorneys I know have personal law libraries that are insane, some worth several 10's of thousands of dollars as well.

                            I could see legal documents being left at a copy shop, or a coffee shop though. I do legal printing and I know that many attorneys will take documents with them to starbucks to read. Or they may read documents here while I am making copies for them.

                            This guy sounds like a fly by night cracker jack attorney. Most of the attorneys I know would love to kick his ass for being so stupid.
                            My Karma ran over your dogma.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              "WORST LAWYER EVER?!?"


                              "OBJECTION!!!"
                              You can find me on Backloggery, Facebook, Twitch, Twitter, YouTube

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