Stoned or Stupid? Oh my, you must be both!

[marty]

I don't care if people smoke marijuana. It's none of my concern as long as: you don't go out in public when you do it, you don't bother other people when you do it, take responsibility for the brain cells you just murdered.

In comes Jackass 1 and Jackass 2. I can tell the moment they walk in that something is amiss, as Jackass one declares to the empty store, "Whoooa man this place is biig!" in true Keanu Reeves style. They approach the counter, and ASM starts snickering because, seeing as to how he is doing the daily paperwork and there's no one else to help, I'll have to deal with them.

J1: Bloodshot eyes, drooping eyelids
J2: The same, along with long, matted hair
Me: I wish I had and could use Priscilla (tire iron in my backseat)
ASM: I'd kill him, but I like him too much

J1: Do you guys have um....uhhh...mmm
J2: Do you guys have...
J1: OH! Do you, uh, guys have...
J2: Dude what was it
J1: Do you guys have uh....(some sports title I can't remember because I hate sports based video games)?
Me: Yeah, it should be at the very back of the store on the left side.
J2: So do you guys have (same thing J1 asked)
Me: ...yes, at the back on the left.

They go to the back. ASM looks at me and mouths "WTF?" I put my hands over my face and shake my head. After a few minutes, these marvels of humanity approach the counter again.

J1: Can I uh...return this? -hands me some other game, luckily he has the receipt.-
Me: Yeah, after that you have $XX.XX in store credit, did you find the game you were looking for?
J2: Dude you picked it up.
J1: Naaaaaooo dude you did!
J2: No you did!
J1: Oh, uhh...yeah, I wanna get this -puts a case on the counter, I pull the game, ring it up-
Me: That'll be $X.XX
J1: Money dude.
J2: Um..wait..I have a question...uhhhh...mmm...
J1: Whu....
J2: Uhh..do you guys have uhhhhh...mm, uhh..do you guys have memory cards?
Me: -grabs one, he looks happy in the way only a two year old can, I ring it up- That'll now be $XX.XX

They pay, and asked me another question that took another five minutes to spit out. By that time, ASM was sitting in the chair behind the counter with his head down laughing silently at my situation.

Me: What? What are you laughing at? I had to deal with that. I have never seen anyone that stoned in my entire life.
ASM: That..I'm sorry. That was amazing. Absolutely amazing.
Me:

...sigh.

[TruthHurts]

They didn't happen to look like this did they?

[marty]

As a matter of fact...

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Be thankful they weren't hopped up on caffeine or sugar or cocaine or something. They'd have pulled their shirts up over their heads and started babbling about TP for their bunghole.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Be thankful they weren't hopped up on caffeine or sugar or cocaine or something. They'd have pulled their shirts up over their heads and started babbling about TP for their bunghole.

I was leaning more towards Cheech and Chong myself.

[Gerrinson]

See now, to be honest, I love my stoner friends. It's not for me, neither is drinking at this point, but it's a ton of fun to mess with them when they're stoned/drunk. One thing you can count on with stoners: They don't get violent. I've yet to meet anyone who gets violent when stoned. Silly & goofy, sure, but at least they're not raving douchenozzles.

Y'know, I'm just saying it could be way worse.

I'd also point out that my friends don't drve or anything moronic like that when stoned. That's often where I come into play as the only dedicated teetotaler of the group.

[Dave1982]

I don't care if people smoke marijuana. It's none of my concern as long as: you don't go out in public when you do it, you don't bother other people when you do it, take responsibility for the brain cells you just murdered.

Silly & goofy, sure, but at least they're not raving douchenozzles.

True, except when they expect you to chip in for pizza at 1AM just so there'll be enough to cover the tab, then eat more than their fair share. I once chipped in for half a pizza because I just so happened to have missed dinner that night (this was in college) and ended up getting only two slices.

On the plus side, I wound up making some money off the stoners on my floor by selling sodas to them at $1 a pop. (I was cheaper than the vending machine and had better selection)

And since we're on this topic, I simply must resurrect BONG HIT SMILEY!

[zzapp the witch]

I'll take stoners over drunks or spun meth heads any day.

[crashhelmet]

Imagine having to provide tech support to these guys.

[powerboy]

True, except when they expect you to chip in for pizza at 1AM just so there'll be enough to cover the tab, then eat more than their fair share. I once chipped in for half a pizza because I just so happened to have missed dinner that night (this was in college) and ended up getting only two slices.

Happened to me before. My GF at the time was going to college. I worked over nights, but picked her up from school. Our friends and her ordered pizza, and I had already gave my share the day before. I only got one slice, and it was an Xtra large pizza, with only 6 of us.

And since we're on this topic, I simply must resurrect BONG HIT SMILEY!

Nice smiley

[Geek King]

Imagine having to provide tech support to these guys.

I don't have to imagine.