Telling someone how to complain if their not happy is "antagonistic"

[Victoria J]

This man annoyed me so much. Though there is kind of a happy ending.

I work for a charity that gives free advice. I was working at out "duty" session - where anyone can walk in, sit and wait and get basic advice. They can ask all kinds of thing, sometimes we know the answers and sometimes we suggest someone else who should know.

This guy wants employment advice. In fact he had employment advice last week from my colleague, but it back anyway. He wants to know about claiming money due to him following termination of employment - which is something we give basic advice on. My colleagues given him a standard letter but there isn't a standard example paragraph for bonuses (because that varies completely from case to case). I'm meant to spend around 20 minutes with each person - I spend about 50 talking to him. I keep telling him roughly what he needs to include in his letter, but that I can't say exactly because (a) it's based on his experiences, and (b) I have no information about his bonus scheme... I can read a letter though if he drafts one.

He's not happy. He makes me repeat it over and over then suddenly gets it and asks why I didn't tell him earlier I did.

When I tell him he'll need evidence to make a legal claim if they don't pay he says I'm "interrogating" him.

So eventually he asks to see someone else. That's not about to happen - you can't refuse to see a member of staff and you can't waste 50 minutes of my time and when I've told you everything anyone here can waste more time getting a second opinion. However if someone is unhappy they have a right to make a complaint. So I explain this, and offer to get a supervisor. (I don't like complaints, but it is important to offer this information).

He said I was "antagonistic" because I told him about the complaints procedure (which I have a duty to do). He acted horribly offended saying I shouldn't suggest he's the sort of person who'd complain

He also at one point said we'd have helped him if he was Somali. When I said that was racist and not something that was acceptable ( not only am I allowed to say this - I'm specifically meant to due to our equal opportunities policies) he said he couldn't be racist because he is from another African country. Idiot.

Kind of a happy ending though - he returned later to ask me to read through his letter and actually apologised.

I'm still left fuming though. If it's antagonistic to tell someone who is obviously unhappy how to complain - what the hell am I meant to do ?

Victoria J

[Dips]

I get a few students writing to our company looking for help on a school project, by which they mean they want me to do the project for them. I think I have some insight on the guy who didn't like his free advice.

He was looking for the solution which required absolutely no effort at all on his part.

And, when that failed to materialize, you then offered a complaint protocol which also required effort on his part.

[Victoria J]

He was looking for the solution which required absolutely no effort at all on his part.

Yep. I think you've got it.

It's not that unusual - the aggressive attitude is less common - plus it's been a bad day, and people have been getting to me. Someone else was lying to me (telling me she wanted us to get some information because she was no longer speaking to her Uncle, then when I explained we could only request the information with her Uncle's consent she said he'd said it was fine for us to ask...), the most annoying repeat offender was back (a woman who I wrote to 3 times in 2 months after she came in, left paperwork with other members of staff for me by lying and saying I'd agreed to give help when I hadn't), a very nice woman who I've been helping fight a case since I started the job nearly 3 years ago (she's fine - the government department we're arguing with make me want to bang my head against a brickwall)....

Arghh.

Victoria J

[iradney]

He also at one point said we'd have helped him if he was Somali. When I said that was racist and not something that was acceptable ( not only am I allowed to say this - I'm specifically meant to due to our equal opportunities policies) he said he couldn't be racist because he is from another African country. Idiot.

BWAHAHAHAHAH! Couldn't be racist because he's from another African country?? HAHAHAHAH! Here in SA, the Black tribes hate each other. So he was talking nonsense!

[Andara Bledin]

BWAHAHAHAHAH! Couldn't be racist because he's from another African country?? HAHAHAHAH! Here in SA, the Black tribes hate each other. So he was talking nonsense!

And they bring that hate with them when they come to the US. One of the most vocally racist people I ever ran into came from South Africa. She was one of those people who thinks it's ok to be racist since she's a minority. As far as I can tell, though, she was all talk.

^-.-^

[ArcticChicken]

One of the counselors at my high school announced "Black people can't be racist!" I never got the opportunity to point out that in making that statement she was contradicting herself.

[Victoria J]

One of the counselors at my high school announced "Black people can't be racist!" I never got the opportunity to point out that in making that statement she was contradicting herself.

That is wonderfully ironic.

I can see that making a negative remark about a group of people and excusing it by saying you are part of that group makes some sense. But excusing prejudice because you belong to another, or wider, group subject to prejudice does not convince me.

And there certainly is a fair amount of prejudice between many specific nationalities, or within people of different religions from the same countries, or even people from different parts of a country. Racism does not always equal skin colour only.

Victoria J