Two Telephone Morons

[unholypet]

1. No Way in Hell you are Operating on me.
Longest one. I literally cut out 75% of the stupidity I had to listen to.

http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=20808

Same Surgery nurse's station, different idiot. Imagine a movie airhead blonde girl, twirling her hair and smacking gum kindof voice.

CL for Caller Lady, and me.

Me: Thank you for--
CL: I want 40 pizzas.
Me: All righty, is this for a pick-up or delivery?
CL: Delivery, at 11:00.

I look at the clock. There is no way we can make and deliver 40 pizzas in 30min.

Me: I'm sorry, but it would take at LEAST 11:00 just to make these pizzas.
CL: Okay. Its no problem. Just as soon as you can!
Me: Okay, and are you at the hospital?
CL: OMIGAWD How'd you know that?
Me: ..caller i.d.
CL: AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA Okay!
Me: ...
CL: ...
Me: ...
CL: ...Sharlise? (she called me that, instead of my name)
Me: Are you in a certain spot in the hospital?
CL: HEY LISA, where are we?
Lisa: We're in the surgery nurse's station on the west end, first floor!
CL: We're on the first floor.
Me: Okay, (types in what Lisa said). What would you like on those pizzas?
CL: Probally 15 ranches, and 15 cheeses, and 15 pepperoni, and 3 loaded potato, and maybe 6 veggie, and 8 bacon cheeseburger, and 12 more cheese, and 10 more ranch.
Me: Ma'am, that's a lot more than 40. Are you feeding more than 100 people?
CL: AHAHHAHHHAHAHAAA No!! Sherry (still not right), we're feeding 29.
Me: ...then why not get about 15 larges? That would cut a lot of cost.
CL: Okay. But make more ranch and cheese.
Me: Okay, is that all?
CL: OH NO WE NEED SALADS! 10 Salads! Not everyone wants a salad!
Me: And are you ordering any appetizers for anyone else?
CL: We want........ CHEESESTICKS! Lots of them! Make 10!
Me: And would you like any sauce?

I list the 20 different sauces we have.

CL: 2 of each!
Me: Okay, and is that all?
CL: We want drinks!
Me: 2 liter, 20 ounce, or fountain?
CL: What's the difference?

I explain the difference.

CL: Um. I wants 20 Cokes, and 20 diet Dr.Peppers. Fountain
Me: I'm sorry, but as I explained we only have diet Coke or Dr. Pepper.
CL: OH NO!
Me: =_=
CL: Make them diet Coke!
Me: Okay, is that all?
CL: Yah yah.
Me: ($400 something total, all those sides are a killer)
CL: OH MY GAWD!
Me: Would you like to get 2 liters? It would cut out a large amount of money.
CL: YES! And get rid of the nasty salads, and no sauces! No more sauces!

So I do, and its down to $250. She decides to change from 5 buck cheese sticks to 10 buck snappolies. Not smart. So we go BACK to cheese sticks, and no sauces, cut 10 pizzas out and then..

Me: Okay, your total is $199.18.
CL: HAHAHAHHAHHAAA I went under budget.
Me: And you have the hospital credit card, right?
CL: Yah.

Turns out, she had Jolene's card. ALL THE NURSES LEFT THEIR CREDIT CARDS IN A HUGE PILE. We found Susan's, Amos's, Christina's, and Rachael's before she got to the hospital's. And then...

Me: I need the 16 digit number please.
CL: 890.
Me: I'm sorry, I need all of the 16 digits.
CL: That's all of the numbers on this side.
Me: Please flip the card over, and tell me the 16 digits.
CL: ...there are only four numbers together on this side.
Me: I need all of those in order from left, to right. Okay?
CL: 1234..5678...9101..1121 (fake 1-12/1)
Me: And the expiration date?
CL: Do you need the right number first, or the left one?

... So, we get that heinous battle of wit with the card over and done, and then I have to ask if she's leaving a tip.

CL: Just make it an even $200.
Me: Okay, that adds 91 cents to your order.
CL: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
Me: You added a 91 cent tip to the card, right?
CL: No, we're gonna give that to the driver when he gets here, I was just letting you do the math.

God.

2. I'm glad you're not a local cop.

Most of the policemen that come in are nice. There are two of them nearby that deliver people from the hospital, to the prison. One of them thinks he can outwit us by using his first name instead of his last to get free food somehow. The other is just a rude idiot.

CP for Caller Policeman.

CP: Yep, I wanna order a large Supreme.
Me: Will that be pick-up or delivery?
CP: Weeeell a hehehee. This lil girl don't know who I is.
Me: >_> (OH hell no.)
CP: I am a'gaurdin' a prisner here at tha harspitul.
Me: And I need that number.
CP: I'm a callin you on ah cellie darlin.
Me: I need the number to the hospital, as I am not delivering to your phone.
CP: Well then. Lookit up.

So we hang up. I find it. He calls back.

CP: You gots it, lil miss?
Me: And what room are you in?
CP: 3013.
Me: Okay, and what would you like?
CP: I want a large supreme, I told you.
Me: I'm sorry sir, but I have to have the delivery information before I take an order.
CP: Well.. Busbee, you want anyfin?
Busbee: I want no mushrooms!
CP: Welp, das all.
Me: And do you want this at a certain time?
CP: Wut?
Me: Is there a certain time you would like this delivered to you, or would you like it in 30min?
CP: Busbee, we're not doing no mushrooms, this little thing here ain't got to be more confoosed an she allreada is.

So we end on a sour note. My boss commended me for not yelling at him. I'm told this guy's a womanizer anyway, since he thinks all the females who take his order are stupid, and lets the men taking his order do their job >_<

[Bright_Star]

Nurses eating pizza-You'd think that when taking care of patients that they'd set a better example & eat healthier than that.

[rerant]

Oh hell no, I would have NEVER looked up the address for him.
He's the one ordering the pizza and if he doesn't know where he is then that's his problem, not yours.

[Sylvia727]

... So, we get that heinous battle of wit with the card over and done, and then I have to ask if she's leaving a tip.

CL: Just make it an even $200.
Me: Okay, that adds 91 cents to your order.
CL: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
Me: You added a 91 cent tip to the card, right?
CL: No, we're gonna give that to the driver when he gets here, I was just letting you do the math.

God.

a 91 cent tip for a $200 order? Please tell me I misunderstood this somehow. The tip should be $30 at least. At the bare minimum.

[Peppergirl]

Count me in as wanting to know if they tipped and how much. I'd bet my last dollar they either stiffed the driver or gave him/her a buck or two.

[unholypet]

Count me in as wanting to know if they tipped and how much. I'd bet my last dollar they either stiffed the driver or gave him/her a buck or two.

It ended up okay. We all got $5 between te 4 who worked on it. They ended up sending an emissary later on to tip. Apparently, not EVERY nurse in there is a buffoon.

[crashhelmet]

Nurses eating pizza-You'd think that when taking care of patients that they'd set a better example & eat healthier than that.

The last i checked. A slice of pepperoni pizza had ingredients from all of the food groups, therefore making it a balanced and nutritious meal ;p

CH

[marasbaras]

Based on the cop's experience at that hospital with the first nurse, I can see how he might get the impression that at least some women are morons. (note: for personal longevity reasons, I'm hiding behind a very large brick wall)

[iviles]

I would love to know what hospital so I never go there!

[StevieJD]

I worked at "the" hospital way back when.

(I was 19 and worked as a patient pusher on the 11PM -7AM shift)

Fortunately we had a couple nurses that were very anal and made sure our order was organized. And then the local ambulance service would make a run and bring back a patient that smelled of pepperoni and mushrooms.

Ah the good ole days. I know the nurses did a good job because one of my friends worked at the Pizza joint and always remarked how they liked our orders.

[StevieJD]

I would love to know what hospital so I never go there!

For 3 years while I was in college I worked at the local hospital. For the first two years we had no food service on the 11-7 shift. The local ambulance service and sometimes the fire department or police would perform food runs for the hospital staff. The PD got busted for doing a donut run by the local newspaper and that cause the hospital to add food service for the night shift.

Most nurses and hospital staff, especially those on the night shifts, don't get organized lunch breaks. They didn't back then, and they don't today either.