A chunk of our business is online sales.
While the website is fantastic in the terms that it pretty much runs itself, it has it's problems. The website is user driven, but the amount of morons who try to tell us that our "website screwed up" are staggering. I frequently get told "it's showing my address as incorrect", "It spelled my name wrong", etc. It's USER DRIVEN. If it's wrong, it's wrong because they did it wrong, but no one wants to hear that. It's the websites fault.
At any rate, the website sends a confirmation when it is finished. Overzealous spam filters frequently send our e-mail in to the nether regions. We have notes about spam filters and sites that we know have problems with our mail (AOL is the absolute worst) and even suggest that they use alternative e-mail. Of course, no one listens. Then I get the call about confirmations not arriving. They are sent by the website, and I don't get copies of those e-mails. What I get is an order e-mail and payment confirmation. Therefore, I cannot forward confirmations that have not been received by the end user. I refuse to forward the information I get because it has sensitive information on it that they don't need to see. Don't get me wrong - it's not super secret, but I'm not taking the chance that someone could glean information from it that could be used maliciously.
So I get a call earlier in the week. People are so damn dense. This one really tested my patience - I had a major headache that day.
Me: Moi
DM: Dense Moron
Me: How can I help you?
DM: I placed an order on your website two days ago. I never received my confirmation.
Me: Ok, well that happens sometimes. Probably an overzealous spam filter.
DM: I saw the notes on your site. It's not in my spam box.
Me: Ok, well what name did you place the order under?
DM: (gives me info)
Me: (pulls up order - used AOL e-mail - despite his saying he read our note) Ok - I see you used AOL. They often block our mail. I apologize.
DM: Just send it again.
Me: I'm sorry, but I can't. I don't receive copies of the e-mail you get.
DM: So how do I know you got my order?
Me: I just looked it up and found your information. We got it.
DM: But how do I know you'll take care of it.
Me: Um, we have your order, and everything is fine.
DM: The only e-mail I got was from UPS saying my package is on it's way. I never got your e-mail. How do I know you'll handle this properly?
Me: (greatly resisting the urge to scream at him after making the above statement) Sir, if you received the pick-up confirmation from UPS, then you are fine. They've picked up the pacakge and it is on it's way.
DM: But I need that e-mail.
Me: Sir, as I explained, I can't forward it. I don't have it.
DM: Well I have to have it or things won't go right.
Me: I get an e-mail, but it's a different e-mail, and it does have partial financial information on it, and for YOUR safety, I don't like to forward that out to people. I'm sorry.
DM: So how do I know that this is being handled?
Me: (urge to kill rising) Sir, you said you got the UPS e-mail, correct?
DM: Yes.
Me: That means that your order was received, processed, charged to your card, and picked up by UPS and is now in transit. Would you like me to track it for you??
DM: No, I already did that.
Me: (head ready to explode) Ok. Sounds like you're all set. Thanks for your call.
DM: No, I need that e-mail.
Me: Sir, as I've explained several times, I don't get copies of it, so I can't send it.
DM: So I won't be billed for this?
Me: We don't bill private individuals, sir. You had to pay before your order processed. Your card has been charged.
DM: But I must have that e-mail!
Me: Sir, again, I can't forward it because I didn't get it.
DM: But then how will I know it's being handled prop......
Me: (interrupted) Sir, what would you like me to do?
DM: Send that e-mail.
Me: Again, I cannot do that. I can't forward what I don't have.
DM: Then what about the bill?
Me: (I've had enough) I'll put it in the mail, OK?
DM: Do you have my address?
Me: (I've had a full-on silent freakout by this time) Yes sir, we're sending a package there, remember?
DM: Ok. How is this coming?
Me: What do you mean?
DM: Fedex, Roadway (for one tiny item - DUH), UPS?
Me: You said you received the UPS e-mail, and you tracked with the UPS site, correct?
DM: Yes.
Me: It's coming via UPS.
DM: Ok. Thanks.
Me: Thank you for your call.
I swear, it's been years - going back to my days in bad debt collection - that I've actually had my IQ drop after dealing with someone.
Did wonders for my headache, too.....
While the website is fantastic in the terms that it pretty much runs itself, it has it's problems. The website is user driven, but the amount of morons who try to tell us that our "website screwed up" are staggering. I frequently get told "it's showing my address as incorrect", "It spelled my name wrong", etc. It's USER DRIVEN. If it's wrong, it's wrong because they did it wrong, but no one wants to hear that. It's the websites fault.
At any rate, the website sends a confirmation when it is finished. Overzealous spam filters frequently send our e-mail in to the nether regions. We have notes about spam filters and sites that we know have problems with our mail (AOL is the absolute worst) and even suggest that they use alternative e-mail. Of course, no one listens. Then I get the call about confirmations not arriving. They are sent by the website, and I don't get copies of those e-mails. What I get is an order e-mail and payment confirmation. Therefore, I cannot forward confirmations that have not been received by the end user. I refuse to forward the information I get because it has sensitive information on it that they don't need to see. Don't get me wrong - it's not super secret, but I'm not taking the chance that someone could glean information from it that could be used maliciously.
So I get a call earlier in the week. People are so damn dense. This one really tested my patience - I had a major headache that day.
Me: Moi
DM: Dense Moron
Me: How can I help you?
DM: I placed an order on your website two days ago. I never received my confirmation.
Me: Ok, well that happens sometimes. Probably an overzealous spam filter.
DM: I saw the notes on your site. It's not in my spam box.
Me: Ok, well what name did you place the order under?
DM: (gives me info)
Me: (pulls up order - used AOL e-mail - despite his saying he read our note) Ok - I see you used AOL. They often block our mail. I apologize.
DM: Just send it again.
Me: I'm sorry, but I can't. I don't receive copies of the e-mail you get.
DM: So how do I know you got my order?
Me: I just looked it up and found your information. We got it.
DM: But how do I know you'll take care of it.
Me: Um, we have your order, and everything is fine.
DM: The only e-mail I got was from UPS saying my package is on it's way. I never got your e-mail. How do I know you'll handle this properly?
Me: (greatly resisting the urge to scream at him after making the above statement) Sir, if you received the pick-up confirmation from UPS, then you are fine. They've picked up the pacakge and it is on it's way.
DM: But I need that e-mail.
Me: Sir, as I explained, I can't forward it. I don't have it.
DM: Well I have to have it or things won't go right.
Me: I get an e-mail, but it's a different e-mail, and it does have partial financial information on it, and for YOUR safety, I don't like to forward that out to people. I'm sorry.
DM: So how do I know that this is being handled?
Me: (urge to kill rising) Sir, you said you got the UPS e-mail, correct?
DM: Yes.
Me: That means that your order was received, processed, charged to your card, and picked up by UPS and is now in transit. Would you like me to track it for you??
DM: No, I already did that.
Me: (head ready to explode) Ok. Sounds like you're all set. Thanks for your call.
DM: No, I need that e-mail.
Me: Sir, as I've explained several times, I don't get copies of it, so I can't send it.
DM: So I won't be billed for this?
Me: We don't bill private individuals, sir. You had to pay before your order processed. Your card has been charged.
DM: But I must have that e-mail!
Me: Sir, again, I can't forward it because I didn't get it.
DM: But then how will I know it's being handled prop......
Me: (interrupted) Sir, what would you like me to do?
DM: Send that e-mail.
Me: Again, I cannot do that. I can't forward what I don't have.
DM: Then what about the bill?
Me: (I've had enough) I'll put it in the mail, OK?
DM: Do you have my address?
Me: (I've had a full-on silent freakout by this time) Yes sir, we're sending a package there, remember?
DM: Ok. How is this coming?
Me: What do you mean?
DM: Fedex, Roadway (for one tiny item - DUH), UPS?
Me: You said you received the UPS e-mail, and you tracked with the UPS site, correct?
DM: Yes.
Me: It's coming via UPS.
DM: Ok. Thanks.
Me: Thank you for your call.
I swear, it's been years - going back to my days in bad debt collection - that I've actually had my IQ drop after dealing with someone.
Did wonders for my headache, too.....

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