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I work at Dollar tree, which means that we get some of the best costumers ever, but due to the nature of our store, a lot of the good customers have erroneous misconceptions of our store. Like:
1) Well, if it’s only a dollar, what does it matter if it doesn’t have a SKU on it?
Inventory purposes, saves us time and money to do it by computer, not by hand. Also, makes it hard to miscount stuff.
2) Why not just count them and charge a dollar for each?
In addition to above, scanning each makes it hard to make a counting error, and if there is one, it’s the computer’s fault, and no one cares all that much.
3) Well, since everything’s a dollar, here’s my doll…
Tax, it’s actually a 1.08. Yeah, California likes your money.
4) Hur, it didn’t scan, it must be free
Die in a fire.
5) What?
I said here’s a flier, we’re having a 10% off sale Sunday after next.
6) Okay, you’re done scanning, here’s the money, bye.
But Ma’am, I need to count it to give you your change, and so I can complete the order to give you your receipt.
Don’t want em.
Oh, what about this full bag I have here next to me that I didn’t put up with your stuff yet?
… I guess I can wait.
7) Okay, here’s my gum, and my 100 dollar bill.
Okay Sir, I need to get a manager over to change that. (This is the Dollar Tree! How much do you think I have in this drawer?!) (Knocks on managers office, the usually empty managers office, waits)
…I think I have a 20.
8) You’re on register, so you MUST be open.
Yes sir, even though my light is off, my closed sign is up, and I’m taking my name-tag off while telling a manager I’ll see them tomorrow, I’m certainly open, and am more than willing to check you out even though I’m off the clock and don’t have a till.
9) Here’s mah Booze, ring it up.
ID Sir?
You dun need to see mah I.D.
Sir, State law, and company policy say I must ID everyone regardless of age, even my own Grandma if she were to come in and buy some wine. (It makes some people’s day to get asked for ID for this XD)
10) Okay Ma’am, your total is 4.31
Okay, here’s my credit card.
Okay, I’ll need to see some ID, and the card.
(Hands it over)
Ma’am, this card is in the name of someone else.
Yes, it’s my husband.
Ma’am, your name isn’t on it, I cannot take it.
But it’s my husbands, and it’s only worth 5 bucks like you said!
It’s worth more than 5 bucks, it’s worth my job.
Fun things to do:
1) When asked if your register if open, close it down, while just looking at the person. Of course open back up, it’s called a joke, not being mean. :P Haven’t found someone yet who got mad at that, coming up on 8 months here too.
2) Playing dense, when at register, and helping someone…
C: (Walks in through door) Can you tell me where the Cards are at please?
Me: (Checking, have a long line of about 4 people, and NO ONE else to call for back-up or anything) Greeting, playing, or note cards?
C: Greeting cards please.
Me: (Still checking) Last aisle, right wall.
C: Can you show me it please? (Meaning, take me to it, so I don’t have to look)
Me: Certainly (Stops checking briefly, point) That wall over there, the aisle next to it with the sign above it that says “Greeting Cards”. (Resumes checking)
C: (Stands there)
Me: (Checking, and ignoring)
C: Excuse me?
Me: (Looks up, still checking) Oh! You found it?
3) Making PA calls
“I can take next in line at Register 3, which is the one that doesn’t have an actual number, but is between 2 and 4, trust me on this one please.” ^_^ (Register 3 doesn’t have sign, just a light bulb, dunno why)
“Manager to register 5, Er, 4, Er, I mean 2. Eh, one of those”
“Attention Dollar Tree shoppers, we are now closed and are locking the door and going home. If anyone is still here, I apologize that we didn’t spot you, and will see you tomorrow morning. But seriously, Register 5 is open and waiting when you finish making your selections, hope to see you soon.”
4) Agreeing with people for stupid reasons.
“I know! The Blue ribbon is so much better; don’t even know why we use red or white on our Balloons!”
5) Specifying “Next in line” when you open, and seeing the open hostility when the last person in line ignores it and hustles into it first as the next in line is on their way.
(Had 2 5-year olds comment on how rude a woman was being, it was hilarious)
And my favorite thus far.
6) When asked “Is this a Dollar”, answer with “No, its 5.99”
I get away with all this because even though I’m a sarcastic black-hearted fiend, I act like that one gigantic puppy that doesn’t have much brains and just wants to be your friend.
That and I don’t take risks, only joke when there’s no chance to get bit.
Dollar Tree Customers bill of “Rights”
I have the right to demand your attention, even when you’re helping some one else.
I have the right to ignore lines.
I have the right to ignore your opening and closing times.
I have the right to ignore the total of my purchase.
I have the right to put crap wherever I feel like putting it.
I have the right to ignore my progeny.
I have the right to talk to your manager and complain about your ignoring my “Rights”.
I have the right to take your cart to my house 8 blocks away, and leave it.
I have the right to ignore the “No returns, only exchanges” policy, even though it’s on the receipt, the register, the wall, and the windows.
I have the right to make a return to you with a competitor’s products, because I want your stuff, not theirs.
I have the right to forget an item, or money, and to run to the car or aisle to get either, and make the whole line wait for me.
I have the right to request another line be made available for me, when there’s anyone in line.
I have the right to make a return of a return, of a return, of a return, without EVER using a receipt.
I have the right to use you like my grocery cart, because it’s below me.
And much, much more
Side note: Oh, yeah, one question, what’s with all the SG-1 and O’Neil love?
Not that I’m complaining, O’Neil ftw.
Edit: First post btw, and thanks for reading. ^_^
1) Well, if it’s only a dollar, what does it matter if it doesn’t have a SKU on it?
Inventory purposes, saves us time and money to do it by computer, not by hand. Also, makes it hard to miscount stuff.
2) Why not just count them and charge a dollar for each?
In addition to above, scanning each makes it hard to make a counting error, and if there is one, it’s the computer’s fault, and no one cares all that much.
3) Well, since everything’s a dollar, here’s my doll…
Tax, it’s actually a 1.08. Yeah, California likes your money.
4) Hur, it didn’t scan, it must be free
Die in a fire.
5) What?
I said here’s a flier, we’re having a 10% off sale Sunday after next.
6) Okay, you’re done scanning, here’s the money, bye.
But Ma’am, I need to count it to give you your change, and so I can complete the order to give you your receipt.
Don’t want em.
Oh, what about this full bag I have here next to me that I didn’t put up with your stuff yet?
… I guess I can wait.
7) Okay, here’s my gum, and my 100 dollar bill.
Okay Sir, I need to get a manager over to change that. (This is the Dollar Tree! How much do you think I have in this drawer?!) (Knocks on managers office, the usually empty managers office, waits)
…I think I have a 20.
8) You’re on register, so you MUST be open.
Yes sir, even though my light is off, my closed sign is up, and I’m taking my name-tag off while telling a manager I’ll see them tomorrow, I’m certainly open, and am more than willing to check you out even though I’m off the clock and don’t have a till.
9) Here’s mah Booze, ring it up.
ID Sir?
You dun need to see mah I.D.
Sir, State law, and company policy say I must ID everyone regardless of age, even my own Grandma if she were to come in and buy some wine. (It makes some people’s day to get asked for ID for this XD)
10) Okay Ma’am, your total is 4.31
Okay, here’s my credit card.
Okay, I’ll need to see some ID, and the card.
(Hands it over)
Ma’am, this card is in the name of someone else.
Yes, it’s my husband.
Ma’am, your name isn’t on it, I cannot take it.
But it’s my husbands, and it’s only worth 5 bucks like you said!
It’s worth more than 5 bucks, it’s worth my job.
Fun things to do:
1) When asked if your register if open, close it down, while just looking at the person. Of course open back up, it’s called a joke, not being mean. :P Haven’t found someone yet who got mad at that, coming up on 8 months here too.
2) Playing dense, when at register, and helping someone…
C: (Walks in through door) Can you tell me where the Cards are at please?
Me: (Checking, have a long line of about 4 people, and NO ONE else to call for back-up or anything) Greeting, playing, or note cards?
C: Greeting cards please.
Me: (Still checking) Last aisle, right wall.
C: Can you show me it please? (Meaning, take me to it, so I don’t have to look)
Me: Certainly (Stops checking briefly, point) That wall over there, the aisle next to it with the sign above it that says “Greeting Cards”. (Resumes checking)
C: (Stands there)
Me: (Checking, and ignoring)
C: Excuse me?
Me: (Looks up, still checking) Oh! You found it?
3) Making PA calls
“I can take next in line at Register 3, which is the one that doesn’t have an actual number, but is between 2 and 4, trust me on this one please.” ^_^ (Register 3 doesn’t have sign, just a light bulb, dunno why)
“Manager to register 5, Er, 4, Er, I mean 2. Eh, one of those”
“Attention Dollar Tree shoppers, we are now closed and are locking the door and going home. If anyone is still here, I apologize that we didn’t spot you, and will see you tomorrow morning. But seriously, Register 5 is open and waiting when you finish making your selections, hope to see you soon.”
4) Agreeing with people for stupid reasons.
“I know! The Blue ribbon is so much better; don’t even know why we use red or white on our Balloons!”
5) Specifying “Next in line” when you open, and seeing the open hostility when the last person in line ignores it and hustles into it first as the next in line is on their way.
(Had 2 5-year olds comment on how rude a woman was being, it was hilarious)
And my favorite thus far.
6) When asked “Is this a Dollar”, answer with “No, its 5.99”
I get away with all this because even though I’m a sarcastic black-hearted fiend, I act like that one gigantic puppy that doesn’t have much brains and just wants to be your friend.
That and I don’t take risks, only joke when there’s no chance to get bit.
Dollar Tree Customers bill of “Rights”
I have the right to demand your attention, even when you’re helping some one else.
I have the right to ignore lines.
I have the right to ignore your opening and closing times.
I have the right to ignore the total of my purchase.
I have the right to put crap wherever I feel like putting it.
I have the right to ignore my progeny.
I have the right to talk to your manager and complain about your ignoring my “Rights”.
I have the right to take your cart to my house 8 blocks away, and leave it.
I have the right to ignore the “No returns, only exchanges” policy, even though it’s on the receipt, the register, the wall, and the windows.
I have the right to make a return to you with a competitor’s products, because I want your stuff, not theirs.
I have the right to forget an item, or money, and to run to the car or aisle to get either, and make the whole line wait for me.
I have the right to request another line be made available for me, when there’s anyone in line.
I have the right to make a return of a return, of a return, of a return, without EVER using a receipt.
I have the right to use you like my grocery cart, because it’s below me.
And much, much more
Side note: Oh, yeah, one question, what’s with all the SG-1 and O’Neil love?
Not that I’m complaining, O’Neil ftw.
Edit: First post btw, and thanks for reading. ^_^
! I commend your ambition in your first post. Most people go for the short and sweet to start out. Hope you've got more! 
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