I can't save you from yourself...

[Fenrus]

Little background... I work for a police agency. We used to carry Slim Jims so we could unlock people's doors, until they decided to start sueing the agency if any damage happened (though they agreed to having up open it, and the locksmith would do the same thing). So we stopped that, unless there is a child or an animal locked inside the vehicle.

Got this one a couple days ago, finally able to post it.
SC:Probably couldn't get out of a paper bag with a lighter and a blowtorch.
Meispatcher Extrordanaire {thoughts in brackets}

Me:*opening spiel* How can I assist you?
SC:*sounds of phone being temporarily ingested*
Me: Hello, *agency* dispatch, what can I do for you?
SC:I locked my keys in my car!
Me: Okay, is there a child or an animal locked in the vehicle?
SC:I locked my keys inside!
Me:I'm aware of that sir, is there a child or animal locked inside?
SC:No, I'm at the 7-11.
Me:Okay, unfortunately if there isn't a child or an animal locked inside, there's nothing we can do, you'll have to call a locksmith.
SC:But *other agency halfway across the valley* will do it for me! Why won't you? It's because I'm black, isn't it!?
Me: {OOH! Played the race card when it's not even in the deck! And the competitor card was really out of place there, considering you're HALFWAY ACROSS THE VALLEY, IN MY AREA. Somehow, I don't think this is gonna work.}
Sir, over the phone I can't tell what race you are. You'll have to call a Locksmith. I'm disconnecting now.
SC:YOU BETT--

Ahh, I love being able to "take control" of the calls. We're taught to always be assertive, and if anyone gives us crap, we can be very... forceful back.

This job is great sometimes.

More moronic callers to come!

[Rubystars]

I hate how they always pull out the race card at the slightest provocation.

[weirdboy_1]

Ahh, I love being able to "take control" of the calls. We're taught to always be assertive, and if anyone gives us crap, we can be very... forceful back.

Where do you work? And are they hiring?

Seriously though, it's great that they give you that leeway, I would love to work for somewhere that let's us do that. Our current motto is "Rule 1: The customers is always right. Rule 2: If the customer is ever wrong, reread rule 1." Ugh.

[Bright_Star]

How were you supposed to be able to tell if he was black or not over the phone?

[iviles]

Little background... I work for a police agency. We used to carry Slim Jims so we could unlock people's doors, until they decided to start sueing the agency if any damage happened (though they agreed to having up open it, and the locksmith would do the same thing). So we stopped that, unless there is a child or an animal locked inside the vehicle.

I miss those days stupid crybabies ruined it for everyone!

[RayvenQ]

How were you supposed to be able to tell if he was black or not over the phone?

Obviously phone operators are meant to be omniescent and psychic

[smileyeagle1021]

How were you supposed to be able to tell if he was black or not over the phone?

obviously the guy had a black voice... like my callers who think that I have a gay voice (ok, I admit that on some of my calls I do take advantage of that).

[Shangri-laschild]

See we have these nice liability release cards where the person has to sign it if they want their car unlocked. It helps the problem not come up.

[crazylegs]

We don't carry slim jims, as most cars in the UK have deadlocks so they (slim jims) are useless, we'll use an asp to break the window, if that doesn't work we crack open the crow bar but only if there is a risk to life within the vehicle.

[trunks2k]

How does beef jerky unlock a car?

[Hello Kitty]

How does beef jerky unlock a car?

I must admit, I thought of the beef jerky sticks too, when I read the first line.
*SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM*

[Pezzle]

Lol

My boyfriend was once rude to a police dispatch operator, sorry. The police in this area don't take local animal calls seriously. Our neighbor left his lab out in the snow for many hours while it bayed and howled. My boyfriend, who's nocturnal a bit, was trying to sleep. The snow was like 1 foot + outside, so he called the cops out of concern for the animal, and for noise ordinance violation. Cops didnt care. He got more tearse. Operator said "We are Dispatchers you have to respect us or you don't get the cops."

to which he responded "I don't have to respect people who don't give a shit about animals freezing in the cold. It's your job to send someone here."

He had to harass the police and keep calling back to get someone out there, and he said fuck them I'm taking the dog inside. And he didn't get in trouble for sheltering the dog either.

[Andara Bledin]

The first dog my family had when I was a baby (they actually had him from slightly before I was born) was a dog that a neighbor had left tied in his yard when they moved.

That's right. The neighbor moved away, and left their dog tied up in the backyard without food or water. My parents waited until the animal control people picked him up so they could legally take posession of him. He grew into a massive St Bernard/Shepherd mix, and was an awesome dog.

When I was about 7, we ended up getting a siamese cat that belonged to a neighbor of my grandmother. The cat had a habit of sharpening his claws on the morning paper, and the cat's possessor, in a fit of pique, kicked the cat. Ended up breaking one of his back legs, and wasn't going to do a damn thing about it. Just thinking about it makes me want to do something notably illegal to the guy. Technically, my mom stole the cat from him. Not that he cared, or anything.

There are a lot of places that have special departments for handling animal cruelty issues (just like on Animal Cops. watching that show makes me mad at the whole human race), and they will often respond fairly quickly.

^-.-^

[Cyphr]

i hate how cruel some people are - whast even scarier most of these peopel are the same ones who children can do no wrong... try balancing the love you crazy people

[Sonoma]

My parents got their current cat when her people moved out, and left her behind. This poor cat had been declawed, then just turned loose in a suburban neighborhood to try & survive. There's open areas surrounding it, so she had no defense against any other animals.

They've had her for several years, and she still has issues with being left behind. They took her on the road with them when they went on an 8-week RV trip, and she LOVED it. Did her much more good than being left alone in her house. I stop by to visit her, but she hates my cat (and all other cats), so it's more stressful for her if we try to stay with her overnight.

She's a great cat, just comes with some baggage.