Dear Abby??

[CaroPhoenix]

I say a bunch of us should write letters to Dear Abby to rebut her answer to the poor retail worker.

[IHateStupidCustomers]

I HATE being touched, too. I usually can't ever think of anything halfway nice to say quick enough when it happens, though.

I agree, customers should not be encouraged! I heard a jewelry store commercial on the radio the other day, that had a "couple" talking about their experience at the store. One part, they said "and they even stayed late after closing to help us pick out the perfect ring!" Oh GREAT! I'm sure every employee there is jumping for joy that they're advertising that!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I've noticed her attitude towards all service workers in general, especially retail and food service. I say a couple of us need to "open her eyes" with some opinion letters, honestly.

I was gonna suggest this very thing.

I saw that article and I was as disgusted as the rest of you. I figured someone would probably mention it.

[Gawdzillers]

Reminds me of a song:
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/john+pr..._20074810.html

[Chantilly]

Well, I had to send Abby (or Pauline or whoever the hell she is) my two cents. Probably just pissing in the wind, but I felt compelled.
This is the comment I sent:

RE: response to "Nicki in Maryland", 3/22/08.
Your advice to the retail salesperson who disliked being touched by customers was way off base! Personal space is just that, and no one should have to submit to being touched if it makes them uncomfortable. Just because she works in the service industry shouldn't mean she has less right to her personal space as others. To tell 'Nicki' that she should just put up with people touching her or grabbing at her to keep from losing a customer is basically saying to her "Like it, lump it, or quit; the customer is always right." That's usually the mantra of a bad customer. Personally, I wouldn't be too keen on keeping the business of someone who doesn't know how to keep their hands to themselves.

I can almost feel her beady little eyes looking down her nose at me already ...

[marasbaras]

I didn't mean to imply "deal with it" in my message. Just that when dealing with the public that one has to expect all manners of poor behavior.

Is touching OK? No. Is it going to happen? Yes.

For those for this is a big issue, and you're certainly within your boundaries here, I would suggest talking to your supervisor about a reasonable response. You don't want to blurt back "HEY DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME, BIATCH, DON'T MAKE ME PUT A CAP IN YO ASS" ... on the other hand, you don't want to just take it.

Somewhere in between is a happy compromise.

[technical.angel]

I totally agree with everyone who suggests writing to Abby. She's really good about about posting letters that disagree with her when she gets a slew of them.

So, if we all write a letter to her at http://www.dearabby.com, she'll know she was wrong!

[cinnamaniac]

I didn't mean to imply "deal with it" in my message. Just that when dealing with the public that one has to expect all manners of poor behavior.

Is touching OK? No. Is it going to happen? Yes.

For those for this is a big issue, and you're certainly within your boundaries here, I would suggest talking to your supervisor about a reasonable response. You don't want to blurt back "HEY DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME, BIATCH, DON'T MAKE ME PUT A CAP IN YO ASS" ... on the other hand, you don't want to just take it.

Somewhere in between is a happy compromise.

I realize it was your post I referenced earlier, but not because I felt like you personally were saying "deal with it" but because you were the person that mentioned Abby was trying to make clear that something like that is unavoidable and I completely agree with you on that.

Although I don't wish for a stranger to invade my personal space, I most definitely wouldn't yell at them for touching me on the hand when asking me a question or something similar. The problem is that not everyone is able to do that, many people have and will freak out the second they are touched. It seems like whomever is writing for 'Dear Abby' almost lives in a perfect world themselves, where the customer is always right and the customer is allowed to do as they please to a worker without much of a reaction.

Honestly, I feel that what you just said, talking to a supervisor, should have been the answer in that column. She should have been advised to talk to a supervisor about it or ask a supervisor for advice on how to deal with that situation in the future, since its apparently a recurring problem.

[technical.angel]

Here's my response

Dear Abby,

I was very disappointed in your response to NICKI IN MARYLAND, the sales associate who wanted to know how to deal with people touching her.

No matter your job, you should not have to deal with people invading your personal space!

Niki should talk to her manager about how she should respond to the people who are dragging her to different parts of the store, but telling her to consider a new line of work was completely inappropriate.

FORMER SALES ASSOCIATE IN MO

[poofy_puff]

I bet Miss Manners would say something different! We need to get the two of them in a wrestling ring - SMACKDOWN - Dear Abby Vs. Miss Manners!

YEA!

[Sparky]

I think it's her daughter, Pauline Phillips that's writing it now.

Actually, it's her daughter Jeanine Phillips. Pauline Ester Friedman was the original dear abby -- pen name Abigail Van Buren.

My paper ran Ann Landers (Abby's twin sister, Ester Pauline Friedman) until her death and I miss her. I often find I don't like the current Abby's advice. She's too much of a lightweight. Both the Friedman ladies had guts and chutzpah, and lots of common sense. I don't think Jeanine's good at seeing the whole picture.

[csever01]

Well, after reading all of this, I just had to write in, too. I couldn't resist. Here's my two cents' worth:

I read your response to Nicki the retail employee today, and I have to say I am disappointed. Your response makes it sound as though you view Nicki as less of a person than her customers.

I also work in customer service, and it feels very condescending when a customer physically touches me. It crosses a line and becomes an issue of manners between two strangers rather than courtesy between staff and customers.

You would do well to think of how you might feel if this happened to you. I seriously doubt you would welcome it.

Abby makes me angry sometimes.

[poofy_puff]

I was going to write, "The kind of job where not allowing someone to touch you would "lose a customer" exists in Nevada and certain types of strip clubs."

BUT - Do you have to do it with the contact form they give you, or is there an email address to which one can send it directly? If not, I'll just give them some address other than my own.

[technical.angel]

I believe all they have is the contact form. Permission to publish and all that.

[gunsage]

Dear Abby:

**** you.

Magical sunshines and rainbows,



Gun Sage

P.S. Giving people bad advice in a nationally recognized column in an equally recognized newspaper could, as you stated, lose YOU a customer. Just a thought.