That is not our bar!

[customersruinmylife]

A few stories from today.

Where are you taking me??

This woman was just...unbelieveable.

SC: I will have a large glass of white wine, and it will cost £1.49.
Me: I'm sorry, but our cheapest glass of wine is £2.49.
SC: Not according to the sign!
Me: Sign? What sign?
SC: Your sign outside!

This confused me. The only sign we have outside is the name of the bar.

Me: Show me this sign.
SC: Fine! Follow me!

She leads me outside...it is pissing down with rain. We walk...and we walk...and we walk.

Me: Ma'am where are you taking me?
SC: To the sign!

We finally get to the sign.

SC: There! £1.49! Glass of chardonnay! Told you!
Me: Oh my God...ma'am...that is not my bar...
SC: It says £1.49!
Me: Yes it does! But it is not us! It's not even the same building as us!
SC: Well that's misleading.
Me: OK, I'm going now.
SC: Fine! I'll drink in here then!

Seriously...what...the...fuck.

What did he expect him to say??

A chav comes up to the bar. He looks about 14.

Chav: Pint of stella please.
Me: Can I see some I.D first?
Chav: You don't need to. I drink in here all the time.
Me: Well I'm a manager and this is the first time I've ever seen you.
Chav: He knows me! We're friends!

He points to a co-worker. Now...co-worker has just moved to the area, apart from us, he doesn't know anyone.

CW: And you are?
Chav: We're friends! He knows me! He'll vouch for me!
CW: I have absolutely no idea who he is.

CW walks away. Chav lights up a cigarette.

Me: Put that out! It's illegal to smoke in public places!
Chav: Really? Since when?
Me: Since about a year ago...you know...the highly publised smoking ban! Someone who "drinks here all the time" would know that.
Chav: Are you going to do my stella?
Me: No. Get the hell out my bar.

Please listen to me.

Me: And what drink would you like?
Customer: Salad.
Me:

[TryNotToBeThatOne]

Please listen to me.

Me: And what drink would you like?
Customer: Salad.
Me:

Wouldn't that be some kind of smoothie-thing?

[Aethian]

Got some real winners there.

[Jbball]

I wouldn't expect much more from drunks.

[uciobert]

Me: And what drink would you like?
Customer: Salad.
Me:

Reminds me of something stupid I did once

Waiter: Soup or Salad
Me: Yeah Sure
Waiter:

I thought he said "Super Salad" rather that "Soup or Salad"
I was somewhat disappointed to learn the only serve regular non-super salads.

[Peppergirl]

I guess the dumb Amurhikhun in me always thinks of Brits as very refined, polite and proper.

Some of your customers have helped to debunk that image for me, customersruinmylife!

[GingerBiscuit]

I guess the dumb Amurhikhun in me always thinks of Brits as very refined, polite and proper.

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahah!
I'm done.
No, wait.... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Seriously, we're just as rude as you lot, just half of us do it in a more idiosyncratic british style, and the other half try to be as american as they can, albeit basing it on the odd ideas we get from imported sit-coms and dramas.

[Peppergirl]

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahah!
I'm done.
No, wait.... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Seriously, we're just as rude as you lot, just half of us do it in a more idiosyncratic british style, and the other half try to be as american as they can, albeit basing it on the odd ideas we get from imported sit-coms and dramas.

Not to worry, we really ARE like the imported sitcoms and dramas.

Well, in hollywood anyway. And we all know that hollywood is totally, totally real.

[TryNotToBeThatOne]

Not to worry, we really ARE like the imported sitcoms and dramas.

Well, in hollywood anyway. And we all know that hollywood is totally, totally real.

Oh gods, don't say that! Most Brits only know Southern Americans based on Dukes of Hazzard.

I like that show as much as the next girl but realism? Accuracy? Um, not so much.

[smileyeagle1021]

Oh gods, don't say that! Most Brits only know Southern Americans based on Dukes of Hazzard.

I like that show as much as the next girl but realism? Accuracy? Um, not so much.

oh you think you have it bad... I live in a state where the only exposure we've gotten on TV has been "Big Love"... people think you are a redneck hick and they think I have multiple wives...

[Cyphr]

Oh gods, don't say that! Most Brits only know Southern Americans based on Dukes of Hazzard.

I like that show as much as the next girl but realism? Accuracy? Um, not so much.

you mean you dont jump a 69 dodge charger over the broken bridge to escape the cops at lerast once a day... man your a real disgrace to then

[Peppergirl]

Oh gods, don't say that! Most Brits only know Southern Americans based on Dukes of Hazzard.

I like that show as much as the next girl but realism? Accuracy? Um, not so much.

I know. I was kidding.

[Peppergirl]

oh you think you have it bad... I live in a state where the only exposure we've gotten on TV has been "Big Love"... people think you are a redneck hick and they think I have multiple wives...

You mean you don't? Damn!

(ducks and runs away)

[crazylegs]

I guess the dumb Amurhikhun in me always thinks of Brits as very refined, polite and proper.

oh dear, you really have been influenced by something other than what I see.

See if you can find my post about the races.

You've never met a chav have you?

[powerboy]

Wouldn't that be some kind of smoothie-thing?

That was good. Real good