Are you mad or complimenting us?

[Phone Jockey]

I work for the cable company. I believe this person meant to write to me. However, I'm not sure what in the hell he was trying to say. Is he complimenting us or complaining about us?

Email: “Some people get mad at Wal-mart cause they are so big and for some reason that scares me. I am not that way but I go to Wal-mart every day because they have a choice and I don’t care how much bigger they get or any other company for that matter including you and I hope you all earn billions and get bigger. If your company does not want the million of frustrated customers to leave when they are given a opportunity you should act like your competition and hire someone to pick up a real phone like a live American from you know. In America.”

OK, since I can't figure out the intent of this email, let's have a vote. This customer is:

a) complaining
b) complimentary
c) annoying
d) all of the above

[Seanette]

e) On some serious drugs
f) In dire need of some serious drugs
g) Combination of e) and f)

[Pagan]

H) Just completely out of their tree!

[Ryu]

I) fishing for freebies
J) racist

[ShockQueen]

K) Suffers from Sphincter Scoliosis
L) Has a case of rectal-cranial inversion

[blaubent]

M) Is just extremely confused,
N) Just pretty stupid
O) Was dropped on his head as a baby.
P) Had a poor mother who expressed herself in the same way. Might be in the genes.

[CanadaGirl]

Q. Most likely sent the email to the wrong address.

[chainedbarista]

r) not fully sure who he is sending this to (kill two birds with one stone?)
s) offering unsolicited advice on how to run a company
t) exists in an alternate universe where rambling about things makes sense, and through some god awful chance happening, the email arrived in this universe after he punched 'send'

[Broomjockey]

I'm gonna go with D and J. He doesn't mind that your company is large, and wants you to have success, but thinks that if another company starts to be real competition for you, you'll lose a lot of customers because you've got automated machines and apparently a bunch of "overseas foreigners" (heh, that makes no sense, but it works in this case) answering your phones when the machines finally release the calls.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

L) Has a case of rectal-cranial inversion

I'll wager $300 on that one, Alex.

Actually, I think that email was to go to his proctologist.

[Crosshair]

e) On some serious drugs
f) In dire need of some serious drugs
g) Combination of e) and f)

Crosshair:

/Thankfully it was just water.

[Crazyredhead]

[ArenaBoy]

U. Drunk
V. On drugs and drunk
W. Is dumb AND on drugs

[Becks]

I don't have a clue as to what that was supposed to mean...

[Jester]

Okay, where exactly do y'all get those smileys that are not part of this site, and how do you post them here? Just wondering. Thanks.