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Last year I was trapped working at a combo Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins. Not too horrible of a place to work overall, but sometimes the customers who come into fast food joints are far beyond the point of silly. They either think that you must be an uneducated dropout because you work there and treat you as such, are just plain rude, or have incredible demands of you. This is a story of the latter.
Keep in mind what we sell here - doughnuts, ice cream, greasy microwaved sandwiches, sodas and coffee. There is little to nothing here that is not buried in sugar, fat or calories, except the water and even that I'd question. Got it? We sell junk food and make the American Heart Association and all of the research clinics devoted to curing diabetes and childhood obesity cry. We are the dark sith of the food pyramid. Just so we're clear on that.
Starring Me and a Silly Woman (SW)
So it's the middle of summer and a gorgeous day that made me really want to go outside and play when this young woman comes in. She drives a very pretty little car and she herself is very pretty and very little; she couldn't have weighed more than 110 pounds soaking wet with combat boots on. Just a very happy, very lovely and very thin woman browsing through our vast array of 43 ice cream flavors and over 15 kinds of doughnuts. I stand there quietly and smiling polietly, waiting to take her order. In my mind, I'm trying to remember how to make the iced cappucino's less-tasty and relatively fat free version.
In the far corner of our ice cream cabinet we have two flavors of frozen yogurt, and three of sorbet. SW goes over and carefully inspects those five flavors.
SW: Excuse me, miss, but these flavors over here? Do you have them in soy or carb-free?
Me: Nope, sorry. I don't think Baskin Robbins makes any of those, but if you look in the bigger Brookshires (a high-end specialty grocery store) they'd probably have it.
SW: Oh, okay.
A legitimate question, to be sure, and certainly not a product I'd have minded us having for those of us who were carb-counting or lactose intolerant. And so she looks at the ice creams a minute more before moving over to our many dazzling trays of doughnuts. I scoot over to that end of the counter, again smiling and awaiting orders. Finally, after several more minutes of careful consideration...
SW: So how about over here?
Me: Ma'am?
SW: The doughnuts. Do you have any doughnuts that are baked, not fried, low in carbs and sugar and are free of trans-fats?
Okay, after that first round, you'd think she'd have gotten the hint, but these are doughnuts. Thankfully my manager was nowhere nearby to hear the exchange. I just couldn't take it.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, but no, we have NOTHING healthy here. Everything we serve will kill you.
SW: o.O
After giving me a very concerned look and one last glance at the pastries, she finally turns and leaves to go plague the Whole Foods store.
Keep in mind what we sell here - doughnuts, ice cream, greasy microwaved sandwiches, sodas and coffee. There is little to nothing here that is not buried in sugar, fat or calories, except the water and even that I'd question. Got it? We sell junk food and make the American Heart Association and all of the research clinics devoted to curing diabetes and childhood obesity cry. We are the dark sith of the food pyramid. Just so we're clear on that.
Starring Me and a Silly Woman (SW)
So it's the middle of summer and a gorgeous day that made me really want to go outside and play when this young woman comes in. She drives a very pretty little car and she herself is very pretty and very little; she couldn't have weighed more than 110 pounds soaking wet with combat boots on. Just a very happy, very lovely and very thin woman browsing through our vast array of 43 ice cream flavors and over 15 kinds of doughnuts. I stand there quietly and smiling polietly, waiting to take her order. In my mind, I'm trying to remember how to make the iced cappucino's less-tasty and relatively fat free version.
In the far corner of our ice cream cabinet we have two flavors of frozen yogurt, and three of sorbet. SW goes over and carefully inspects those five flavors.
SW: Excuse me, miss, but these flavors over here? Do you have them in soy or carb-free?
Me: Nope, sorry. I don't think Baskin Robbins makes any of those, but if you look in the bigger Brookshires (a high-end specialty grocery store) they'd probably have it.
SW: Oh, okay.
A legitimate question, to be sure, and certainly not a product I'd have minded us having for those of us who were carb-counting or lactose intolerant. And so she looks at the ice creams a minute more before moving over to our many dazzling trays of doughnuts. I scoot over to that end of the counter, again smiling and awaiting orders. Finally, after several more minutes of careful consideration...
SW: So how about over here?
Me: Ma'am?
SW: The doughnuts. Do you have any doughnuts that are baked, not fried, low in carbs and sugar and are free of trans-fats?
Okay, after that first round, you'd think she'd have gotten the hint, but these are doughnuts. Thankfully my manager was nowhere nearby to hear the exchange. I just couldn't take it.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, but no, we have NOTHING healthy here. Everything we serve will kill you.
SW: o.O
After giving me a very concerned look and one last glance at the pastries, she finally turns and leaves to go plague the Whole Foods store.
expression on their faces.
Low GI! Woot! 
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