Titanic

[rerant]

I had a customer come in and say to me, "I'm looking for a book."

My friend used to work at Chapters and he told me about how when he started there he was warned about the people who would come in and ask for "a red book" and expect him to know exactly which book they wanted.

Well, for months he never had one of those customers, then one day a lady came in and asked for a red book.
His response was, "I heard about you!"

[Imogene]

Re: the multitudes of "I have a question..." customers...
My response? "I have an answer, I can't guarantee you'll like it, but I do have an answer."

I spoiled the 'surprise' for Wild ARMS for my brother about... two years after I beat it...

I spoiled the 'surprise' in FF7 for a classmate who was talking about the game animatedly with another classmate, three years after it was released. My response? "Dude, it's the end of the first disc. If you still haven't gotten that far, you're not really a gamer."

[Andara Bledin]

Re: the multitudes of "I have a question..." customers...
My response? "I have an answer, I can't guarantee you'll like it, but I do have an answer."

I do that to co-workers. One in particular will say, "I have a question," in just such a way that it's begging for a silly reply.

Mine is usually, "Well I have answers, and if you're lucky, one of them will match your question," or "and I've got an answer. It may not be the one you want, but I've got one."

^-.-^

[Eric the Grey]

Sounds like me when I worked at Avis RAC at Stapleton Airport in Denver. People would always come by our counter and ask where Alamo (another RAC company) was.

My typical answer was: "In Texas."

I got some pretty heated responses to it.



Eric the Grey

[karath]

I found out that some customers have no sense of humor when I worked the info desk at Barnes and Noble.

I had a customer come in and say to me, "I'm looking for a book."

I said, "Well, you've come to the right place."

Needless to say, the customer was not amused and a manager was summoned.

*Moral of story, don't joke with the customers, as apparently they cannot handle it.*

P.S. This "customer" did DEMAND that I be fired on the spot for being 'insolent', but my manager just laughed at him. (My manager really rocked, I miss working for him.)

Well, that's weird. I pull a slightly altered version of that joke all the time on customers at Wendys...who are, of course, hungry, and have a right to be grumpy, if my family is any indication.
Customer: Damn, I'm starving!
Me: Then you're in the right place!
The "coldest" reaction I've had to that was a chuckle, usually followed by an order for enough fast food to give a bear a heart attack...but I digress. Odd that a customer would react like that in a bookstore...I have this vain hope that people act like decent human beings around those most sacred of objects

[Slytovhand]

this one isn't quite as bad as Titanic, but still funny.

I went to go see the movie Troy with my cousin. now, she is a smart person...... most of the time, and I realize that not everyone is as familiar with Greek myths and the Iliad as I am, but still, I think that most people know a little about at least the Trojan horse.
we were at the scene that the Trojans were bringing said horse into their city and my cousin leans over and says:
"I bet there's people in that horse."
I just looked at her for a moment and then

I still bring it up every once in a while....... she hates that.

Lister: " From this particular phase in history we derive the phrase, "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts," when it would be much more logical to derive the phrase, "Beware of Trojans, they're complete smegheads!"

(http://www.geocities.com/televisionc...t/inquisit.txt - for those who want the rest of it )

Slyt

[MoonChild2007]

I found out that some customers have no sense of humor when I worked the info desk at Barnes and Noble.

I had a customer come in and say to me, "I'm looking for a book."

I said, "Well, you've come to the right place."

Needless to say, the customer was not amused and a manager was summoned.

*Moral of story, don't joke with the customers, as apparently they cannot handle it.*

P.S. This "customer" did DEMAND that I be fired on the spot for being 'insolent', but my manager just laughed at him. (My manager really rocked, I miss working for him.)

Which is why i keep everything professional and don't even bother getting a least bit human with them.

[iviles]

Hee hee hee I used to tell people they had to watch titanic 2 but the boat sinks at the end.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I used to revel in ruining the LOTR movies for people I know, mostly cuz I was the only one who'd read the books, and partly cuz I'm a bitch like that. Probably a good thing I never worked in a cinema at that time. XD

[AnaKhouri]

I try to hold it back at work, but sometimes I can't.


Two examples:

Woman: Do you have the holy grail?
Me: If I did, I wouldn't be working here.

(she wanted the book "Holy Blood, Holy Grail", which I kind of figures, but the way she phrased it was too good to pass up. She laughed.)

Guy (comes to Help Desk, slams hand down on desk): The World is Flat!
Me: That's not what I heard!

(he wanted the Thomas Friedman book of that name, but he was so rude about asking I couldn't help it. That bit of insolence earned me nasty glares the whole time I was helping him).

[Slytovhand]

I do that to co-workers. One in particular will say, "I have a question," in just such a way that it's begging for a silly reply.

Mine is usually, "Well I have answers, and if you're lucky, one of them will match your question," or "and I've got an answer. It may not be the one you want, but I've got one."

^-.-^

I prefer "Can I ask you a question?"
"You just did."
"Ok - can I ask you another question?"
"You just did."

They tend to get a bit annoyed with me after that

Guy (comes to Help Desk, slams hand down on desk): The World is Flat!

"You'd have to be an idiot to say that."

[Andara Bledin]

I prefer "Can I ask you a question?"
"You just did."
"Ok - can I ask you another question?"
"You just did."

I have been known to also reply, "You mean another question?"

Yeah, I'm well known as a smart ass around my office. Of course the fact that I will usually have the answer they need keeps them coming back.

^-.-^

[ShinyGreenApple]

I've been known to give out 'warped but true' spoilers for movies and books. You know, saying things like "Sam and Arwen get married", "Faramir and Aragorn get married", "Elizabeth asks Barbossa to marry her and he agrees", etc. I like to see people flip out

[BookstoreEscapee]

I found out that some customers have no sense of humor when I worked the info desk at Barnes and Noble.

I had a customer come in and say to me, "I'm looking for a book."

I said, "Well, you've come to the right place."

Needless to say, the customer was not amused and a manager was summoned.

Wow, I've made that joke numerous times and never had someone ask for a manager over it...I've also been known to grab a random book off the desk displays and say "Here ya go!"

My friend used to work at Chapters and he told me about how when he started there he was warned about the people who would come in and ask for "a red book" and expect him to know exactly which book they wanted.

The joke in my stores has always been "I'm looking for a book...it's blue..."
Sadly, it really does happen.

Odd that a customer would react like that in a bookstore...I have this vain hope that people act like decent human beings around those most sacred of objects

Yeah, um, no. Sorry.

[Imogene]

I used to revel in ruining the LOTR movies for people I know,

Which reminds me of that petition floating around the internet when Two Towers was about to hit theaters, as it was obviously a reference to the Two Towers and 9/11. Dumb ass, unless Tolkien was prophetic (not likely, he was pretty hardcore Christian, if I'm not mistaken), since the book came out way, way before 9/11 happened.

I've been known to give out 'warped but true' spoilers for movies and books. You know, saying things like "Sam and Arwen get married", "Faramir and Aragorn get married", "Elizabeth asks Barbossa to marry her and he agrees", etc. I like to see people flip out

Warped but true? Um... when did any of those things happen? Or are you referring to the books/slashfics/fanfics?