Ummm...that wasn't us.

[customersruinmylife]

The phone rings.

Me: Hello <bar name>
SC: Yes...uhhhh...I was in your bar, and I think I left my credit card behind. Is it still there?
Me: Hang on, I'll have a look for you.

Nope, no credit card has been handed in.

Me: I'm sorry sir, but we don't have it.
SC: Yes you do.
Me: Would you like me to double check?
SC: I am ringing the right place aren't I?
Me: <bar name>?
SC: Yes...next to the river...right?
Me: Yes that's right.
SC: Yes, that is definately where I left it.
Me: So you left it? You didn't lose it?
SC: I gave it to one of the barmaids and she started a tab for me.
Me: OK, that's unusual, we don't do tabs here. Which barmaid did it for you?
SC: The big blonde one.
Me: We don't have any big blonde barmaids.
SC: Yes you do! I gave her my credit card! Then she gave me a purple key with a number on it and told me to hand the key in when I wanted to pay. She then put the key in one of your purple lockers.
Me: Sir, we don't do tabs, we don't give out keys and we don't have any purple lockers.
SC: You do!
Me: Sir, can I just ask why you left your card and did not pay your tab?
SC: Well, you see, I built up such a huge tab that I was....blind drunk...and forgot it.

Oh great.

Me: It really wasn't us you started a tab with sir. Like I said, we don't do tabs, and we don't have a system for giving people keys with reference numbers on them.
SC: But you're <bar name> next to the river aren't you?
Me: Yes...
SC: Then you have my card!
Me: Sir, we don't have it. Another bar must have it.
SC: .....
Me: How long ago was this?
SC: Three weeks ago.
Me: Three weeks ago?? You waited three weeks to find out where your credit card was?
SC: I was blind drunk! I wasn't sure where I had left it and I know I left it with you!
Me: It wasn't us.
SC: What am I supposed to do?
Me: Well for starters, I suggest you cancel your card.
SC: Have you asked the big blonde girl where it is?
Me: We don't have a big blonde girl here!
SC: OK then, thanks for nothing!
*click*

Yes, it's my fault you got blind drunk and lost your card. I really don't know where he could have left it. I can't think of a bar that has purple lockers for credit cards....

[edible_hat]

I think I had a phone call from that guy once. He was sure he was calling the right place, but his description of the store was totally wrong. Such as "when you go through the door and turn left to get to the counter..." when you turn right, or "the newspaper stand between the door and the pizza machine" when our newspaper stand is nowhere near the door and we don't have a pizza machine.

those pizza machine pizzas aren't too bad for a pizza you only wait 2 minutes for.

[marty]

Sounds like it went something like this based off his bar description: what happened in Vegas, stayed in Vegas, including his credit card and the rest of his brain cells.

[bainsidhe]

I wasn't sure where I had left it and I know I left it with you!

Yup, that pretty much sums it up. Idiot.