Tweet
"My friend was messing around with my computer and he deleted Safari."
"Umm.. do you have another browser on your computer?'
"Browser?"
"Internet program, like Internet Explorer."
"I'm using a MAC, not a PC! When I called in six months ago there was an option to speak to a Mac repair specialist, where did that go? Xfer me to that department."
"We don't have a special department for Macs anymore; we are all trained on them."
"What? Why'd you ask me if I was using Internet Explorer?"
"Many advanced users install multiple browsers on their computer."
"Whatever, I want Safari back!"
"We are just an ISP, we cannot help you install a program on your computer."
"Oh, so you'd help me install Internet Explorer then?"
"....Nooo?"
"But you asked if I use Internet Explorer!"
"IF you had another browser on your computer I could have given you basic instructions on redownloading Safari."
"So if I had Internet Explorer you would help me?"
(It's a trap ><) "Somewhat."
"I knew it! Everyone hates us Mac users! Why won't your company support us anymore? You did six months ago!"
"We do provide support for Mac users, but if you've completely deleted all of your browsers from your computer, you will need to contact Apple for assistance."
"They helped me with this six months ago!"
"Unfortunately at this time you will need to contact Apple for assistance. I can get you their number."
"I don't understand! Last time there was a Mac department, why can't I speak to them?"
"We are all trained on Macs."
"Then why can't you fix this?"
"This is not a computer repair line, it is technical support for an Internet Service Provider."
"Well I can't access the internet!"
"Because you deleted the program for accessing the internet."
"They helped me six months ago! It took them five seconds!"
"Unfortunately at this time you will need to contact Apple for assistance."
Repeat:
"I don't understand! Last time there was a Mac department, why can't I speak to them?"
"We are all trained on Macs."
"Then why can't you fix this?"
"This is not a computer repair line, it is technical support for an Internet Service Provider."
"Well I can't access the internet!"
"Because you deleted the program for accessing the internet."
"They helped me six months ago! It took them five seconds!"
"Unfortunately at this time you will need to contact Apple for assistance. I can get you their number."
Three or four times until customer hung up.
"My linkski ain't workin! I need a tech out here!"
"I can't believe you won't help me install my Belkin router! This is ridiculous! You're just trying to get me to pay for YOUR wireless router! I'm going to write a letter to (CEO) about this!"
"Who's that?"
*click*
*giggle*
(customer hadn't paid bill for 3 months, billing department FINALLY stopped giving them extensions)
"I can't believe this! I'm going to another company!"
"You made a payment of $100 and then $40"
"NO! I PAID $140!"
A customer called in because her email inbox had been deleted for the fourth time in six months. I told her that she may want to consider forwarding a copy of all her mail to a different email address as a backup. She replied that this was absolutely ridiculous, she has a yahoo address but that is free, she is paying us for her email service so it should work perfectly, and she is going to go to another ISP. When I enlightened her as to what ISP stands for she chanted "Get me someone who gives a fuck" until I xferred her to the retention department.
Stupid notes:
"(customer) called in claiming he was told promo was good for 1 year, but (billing system) says it is for 12mos"
"(customer) called in, online light is lit on the modem, refer to computer manufacturer"
"(customer) called in, tried to release ip, getting "request requires elevation," refer to computer manufacturer"
"(customer) called in, he is using mack, educate that we do not support that."
"Umm.. do you have another browser on your computer?'
"Browser?"
"Internet program, like Internet Explorer."
"I'm using a MAC, not a PC! When I called in six months ago there was an option to speak to a Mac repair specialist, where did that go? Xfer me to that department."
"We don't have a special department for Macs anymore; we are all trained on them."
"What? Why'd you ask me if I was using Internet Explorer?"
"Many advanced users install multiple browsers on their computer."
"Whatever, I want Safari back!"
"We are just an ISP, we cannot help you install a program on your computer."
"Oh, so you'd help me install Internet Explorer then?"
"....Nooo?"
"But you asked if I use Internet Explorer!"
"IF you had another browser on your computer I could have given you basic instructions on redownloading Safari."
"So if I had Internet Explorer you would help me?"
(It's a trap ><) "Somewhat."
"I knew it! Everyone hates us Mac users! Why won't your company support us anymore? You did six months ago!"
"We do provide support for Mac users, but if you've completely deleted all of your browsers from your computer, you will need to contact Apple for assistance."
"They helped me with this six months ago!"
"Unfortunately at this time you will need to contact Apple for assistance. I can get you their number."
"I don't understand! Last time there was a Mac department, why can't I speak to them?"
"We are all trained on Macs."
"Then why can't you fix this?"
"This is not a computer repair line, it is technical support for an Internet Service Provider."
"Well I can't access the internet!"
"Because you deleted the program for accessing the internet."
"They helped me six months ago! It took them five seconds!"
"Unfortunately at this time you will need to contact Apple for assistance."
Repeat:
"I don't understand! Last time there was a Mac department, why can't I speak to them?"
"We are all trained on Macs."
"Then why can't you fix this?"
"This is not a computer repair line, it is technical support for an Internet Service Provider."
"Well I can't access the internet!"
"Because you deleted the program for accessing the internet."
"They helped me six months ago! It took them five seconds!"
"Unfortunately at this time you will need to contact Apple for assistance. I can get you their number."
Three or four times until customer hung up.
"My linkski ain't workin! I need a tech out here!"
"I can't believe you won't help me install my Belkin router! This is ridiculous! You're just trying to get me to pay for YOUR wireless router! I'm going to write a letter to (CEO) about this!"
"Who's that?"
*click*
*giggle*
(customer hadn't paid bill for 3 months, billing department FINALLY stopped giving them extensions)
"I can't believe this! I'm going to another company!"
"You made a payment of $100 and then $40"
"NO! I PAID $140!"
A customer called in because her email inbox had been deleted for the fourth time in six months. I told her that she may want to consider forwarding a copy of all her mail to a different email address as a backup. She replied that this was absolutely ridiculous, she has a yahoo address but that is free, she is paying us for her email service so it should work perfectly, and she is going to go to another ISP. When I enlightened her as to what ISP stands for she chanted "Get me someone who gives a fuck" until I xferred her to the retention department.
Stupid notes:
"(customer) called in claiming he was told promo was good for 1 year, but (billing system) says it is for 12mos"
"(customer) called in, online light is lit on the modem, refer to computer manufacturer"
"(customer) called in, tried to release ip, getting "request requires elevation," refer to computer manufacturer"
"(customer) called in, he is using mack, educate that we do not support that."
Mind you this for the last 5 years. 
Comment