The Adventures of Nasty Old Drunk

[Discourtesy Clerk]

There's this homeless guy that comes in to my store about twice a day. He's old, he smells, he's perpetually drunk, and he fakes being blind to get people to feel sorry for him and give him money.

How do I know he fakes it? He gets this big nasty smile whenever I'm in the store. He always goes to the checkstand I'm bagging at, and if I'm not there, he goes to see another young female checker/bagger, but he pretty much never goes into a line with male employees. I now refuse to serve him. If he's coming, I move. During the entire transaction, he stares at my chest, and calls me "sweetie". I don't even like my female manager calling me that, let alone a nasty old drunk. The last time I had to bag something for him, he was on his way out, and said, "I'll see you later." Needless to say, I've avoided him since.

However. This guy must be really messed up. The other day, he came in, bought nothing, and started walking to the bathrooms. I'm keeping an eye on this bum, and instead of turning to go in the mens' room...he keeps on walking. You know what's past the bathrooms?

"What is he doing? Hey! Hey, he's going in the breakroom!!"

The smelly old bastard was standing in the doorway of the breakroom, talking to the employees. Customers aren't allowed in there. Drunken non-paying customers, definitely not. Yet everyone I pointed this out to just stood there like a deer in headlights, like nothing was up. Uh, hello. Gross crazy old man in breakroom. How is that OK? I finally got through to my manager on duty, but it took me a lot of work. The guy's not too good at listening. I finally had to explain to him that this guy's been hitting on me every time he comes in, and that he's basically totally insane, and by this time the guy's fully inside, sitting down and making himself comfortable.

After about five minutes of repeating myself to the brick wall of manager hearing, Clueless MOD finally went over and marched the guy out. He was back the next day. Twice. And the day after that. And probably today too. Everybody knows him by now.

I'm done with this guy though. Next time he hits on me, I will get him tossed out on his ass. If it's bad enough, I'll call the cops. He'd be better off locked up than roaming the streets anyway, and I'm not afraid to get legal on him. I have loads of witnesses.

I'm sure you guys can top this, though. So bring on your smelly wino SC stories.

[toolbert]

Oh man, we had this one dude that would always come in with his luggage and his pda. He used to talk about how he's going to start a buisness and that we need to help him so he can get everything going. The guy always smelled of pot and ass (a winning combination I assure you) and kept moving closer to me every time he came into our store. Once, I was closing up the store and he came up next to me out of nowhere. He saw that my drawer was open and then began asking me for money...I just looked at him, slammed the drawer shut and told him to leave as fast as he could. He then got all huffy and started to get into me about how I need to help him because he's going to be rich soon. To top it all off, he came in a few days later, sat his raggedy old suitcase down, brought out two cups and produced a bottle of cranberry juice from out of thin air. He then proceeds to offer me a cup and I proceed to call security. Haven't seen him since...

[Discourtesy Clerk]

I would just hope that the cranberry juice and the ass smell weren't related in some sick, twisted way. It's funny, though...if he's going to be rich soon, why's he need your money? Gotta come up with a better excuse, now...

[chainedbarista]

we get one that buys food elsewhere (not sure how he does this...), comes in, DEMANDS water, then wanders to the end. if you don't get it for him right away, he mumbles profanities and other crap at you until you get it. never buys anything, just demands water as rudely as possible.

a little while back, he did this, proceeded out to our pation, eats, makes a mess a barnyard animal would be proud of, then passes out. since we're busy, we don't have time to check up on him, so about two to four hours pass by until it's time to close. we go out to get the furniture and guess who's still there? yep, our 'friend,' slumped over; at this point, we go to wake him up, with no responses to us, even with the shift yelling in his ear.

this goes on for about ten minutes; during this annoyance, i'm cleaning the store's lobby, wondering if we'll have to make a 911 call for the police to do something with a dead guy. (yay... ) after more poking and prodding (the shift takes his pulse and determines he's still alive), he still doesn't respond; one of our nightly regulars suggest we pour cold water on him.

we didn't want to (he has some sort of condition, but we're not sure what exactly) since scaring him might cause something bad to happen, but we end up having to, since this is keeping us from closing (we've already had patio tables stolen...they were BOLTED to the patio, yet still were taken). after a few seconds, he responds, jerks awake, but starts to fall asleep again.

the shift shakes him back to conciousness, then makes him leave, which he chooses to do...by running away. a serious wtf moment.

[Crosshair]

I'm done with this guy though. Next time he hits on me, I will get him tossed out on his ass. If it's bad enough, I'll call the cops. He'd be better off locked up than roaming the streets anyway, and I'm not afraid to get legal on him. I have loads of witnesses.

Thank you Ronald Reagan for shutting down all the mental hospitals. I have met my fair share of people who should be in a mental hospital getting treatment. I would GLADLY pay the taxes needed to fund it so I would not have to put up with them.

[cpux]

I'll admit, with my old hours I got my fair share of drunks coming in after the bars closed. They were mostly harmless, though. They'd buy the weirdest stuff though, like a 2 liter of coke and a box of cocoa puffs or such.

[Becks]

They'd buy the weirdest stuff though, like a 2 liter of coke and a box of cocoa puffs or such.

You sure they weren't stoned?

[Lace Neil Singer]

Only one, and this guy will forever stay etched in my memory. At the garden centre. 10am. Drunk guy walks in, vomits into flower pot. Leaves.

Everyone nearby: "WTF?"

[Rapscallion]

You sure they weren't stoned?

Sounds quite possible - quite a few drug users need a sugar rush. Chum of mine had several come to his all-night fuel station. He got to recognise the signs at a distance and knew they would try to shoplift anything with a high sugar content or coffee (sniffer dogs find it very hard to smell drugs through it, so it's an ideal hiding place).

Rapscallion

[huckster]

Don't have a guy that vomits, but he's a stalker. Has a former employee that he loved. He would come in everyday and we would all try tio avoid him. This poor lady couldn't hide from him and became his icon. He would bring her dinner that she was afraid to eat. Leave it to one of the guys to dig in, and there he was watching through the breakroom window. It got so bad a male manager pulled him aside outside and told him how uncomfortable he is making people. He still comes around but we all have a routine that we pull around him. You kinda feel bad because he is lonely but nooone wants to end up on a Dateline special.