Do you listen, or just wait for your turn to speak?

[Broomjockey]

Anyone who answers phones at work knows there is usually a specific speil you are supposed to say when you answer the phone. Ours is "Thank you for calling <Someone> Theatres, <Somewhere> Cinema, Broomjockey speaking, how can I help you?"
I can get this out in about 2-3 seconds, clearly, and cheerfully. It's not hard to listen to, yet yesterday I still got no fewer than 6 people asking after that if we were Cineplex Odeon. I reply that no, we are infact <Someone> Theatres, not affiliated with Cineplex Odeon in any way shape or form. And then they ask if they can use their Cineplex Odeon coupons here.

[norrina]

My standard greeting is "Good Morning/Afternoon, Attorney So-and-So's Office, this is Norrina."

To an extent, I can understand that my name might not come through the phone lines clearly, or you might have background noise that obscures what I am saying.

Do NOT, however, interrupt me midway through giving you my name, to ask to speak with Norrina. Give me that extra .06 second, and you would know that you were talking to whom you wished to talk to. Not to mention, I am the only person in the office, aside from my boss.

Also, please do not argue with me when I try to give you the correct phone number to speak with my boss' dad, another attorney in town. I am well aware that they have the same last name. I am even informed on their familial relationship. None of this means that it is my job to take messages for somebody that is in no way affiliated with our office. If you are an existing client, you should know better than most the proper channels through which to contact the proper party. Write down the number and call him yourself, you dumb bint.

[TNT]

We have several special numbers at work that certain outside employees can call to get through to certain specially trained reps. One of those numbers is one digit off a medical supply company that apparently specializes in "adult protective undergarments." I can usually tell by the area code the call's coming from that they're not an employee... or even from our area. So I emphasize the company name...

Me: Hi. Thank you for calling [whatever] CABLE TELEVISION.
Caller: I need to order diapers.
Me: This is the CABLE TELEVISION COMPANY.
Caller: Huh?
Me: Cable TV. We're the cable company.
Caller: I can't order my diapers?
Me: No.
Caller: What number should be I calling?

Ah, well... I googled the company they want and I'm at least able to steer them in the right direction.

[ChanceNCinny]

Mine is "Thank you for calling (city) (business name), ChanceNCinny speaking, how may I help you?" I get asked atleast once a day if they are calling the right place, what city I am in and once in a while what number they called

[HawaiianShirts]

I've had my fair share of that, too. Back at the call center where I took calls for about a thousand different infomercial products. One gem stands out...

Me: Thank you for calling *Home Gym Equipment Company.* This is Hawaiian Shirts. Are you calling to place an order for *latest advertised item* today?
Caller: Yes.
Me: Okay. To start off, may I have your phone number, area code first, please?
Caller: (Gives phone number.)
Me: Thank you. Your name sir?
Caller: (Gives name.)
Me: And your shipping address?
Caller: Uh... Okay... (Gives address.)
Me: Do you have an email address you'd like to provide us with so we can send you notices about the shipping status of your order and so you can receive special offers from us periodically?
Caller: I don't know why you need that, but, okay. (Gives email.)
Me: And will you be paying by credit card, debit card, or electronic check, sir?
Caller: I have an American Exp... Look, I don't know what this is all about. I'm just trying to figure out what room my daughter is in.
Me: ... Excuse me?
Caller: My daughter. What room is she in? You know. She was supposed to have *some kind of -ectomy surgery* this morning. What room did you put her in for recovery?
Me: I think you have the wrong number, sir. This is *Home Gym Equipment Company.*
Caller: What? I don't need *Home Gym Equipment Company.* I need *local hospital!* Why didn't you tell me who you were from the start?! *click*

Argh.

[TeslaRecoil]

Me: Your favorite DrugSlinger
SC1: A nice enough guy, really not an SC
SC2: Enough of a d*** for two SC's

Background: One pharmacist is on vacation. The other is working 6 days a week to cover. We have floaters coming to cover miscellaneous shifts around the store. One was supposed to cover fro 9 to 7 on Saturday, but called at 8PM on Friday to say she wasn't coming in. DM couldn't get us another pharmacist, so the pharmacy was closed for the day.

SC1 approached me with a question, and SC2 was standing right next to us, apparently listening to our conversation ...

SC1: Excuse me, but why is your pharmacy closed?
ME: We have a pharmacist on vacation, and the person who was supposed to cover for him called in sick at the last minute.
SC1: There are no other pharmacists to cover?
ME: Well, to be honest, no. The company, as well as the industry, is severely short-handed. There's just not enough pharmacists to go around. When that happens, the slower pharmacies get closed. Unfortunately for us, this store is one of the slower stores in the district, so we usually get the short end of the stick.
SC1: So there's no way I can pick up a prescription?
ME: No. I'm sorry, but pharmacy is locked up, and only pharmacists have keys and an alarm code to get back there. I'd have no way of getting it for you. Plus, in New York, it's illegal to open that gate without a licensed pharmacist on site, so even if I had keys, it wouldn't make a difference.
SC1: I see ...
ME: If you're picking up a refill, or if you're not getting a controlled substance, you could head over to [our next store over] and they could give you enough to last until tomorrow, when our pharmacy will be open.
SC1: Uh, OK. I'm not to thrilled about this, but I guess it's better than nothing. You open at 9 tomorrow, right?
ME: yes we do. Amd I'm sorry about the inconvenience.
SC1: Don't be. It's not your fault.

SC1 leaves

SC2: So I can't get a prescription?
ME: I'm sorry, but no.
SC2: Why the hell not?
ME: [Same explanation I gave before, while this guy was listening]
SC2: That's f***ing stupid. Why don't you have keys?
ME: Because there are controlled substances back there that the licensed pharmacist is responsible for, as well as patient information.
SC2: I don't need a controlled substance.
ME: That may be, but all scripts, controlled or not, are filed together, so the entire pharamacy has to be locked.
SC2: So I really can't get my prescription?

AM I TALKING TO A BRICK WALL OR WHAT?

No ...

At least my echo off a brick wall would sound semi-intelligent ...