Tweet
This woman wasn't sucky per se, just completely off her rocker...
She called us, refusing to give her name (which makes me think it's a prank or she is indeed crazy), and from a grocery store payphone. She then began listing off a bunch of names that sounded like mafioso nicknames and told me I needed to tell their judges that they are all a bunch of cannibals and they tried to eat her friend tonight. In fact, she SAW them biting his BRAIN!
(This is also the part where my imagination jumps to zombies and I curse myself for leaving my machete at home)
She then goes on about how these guys are baby eaters and they are eating babies left and right. (I think we would have noticed a mass dissapearance of infants...but that's my opinion) At this point, I am trying hard to take her seriously, I really am. There is a reason we try so hard to take them seriously. For example; there is a recorded call I got to listen to where this girl calls 911 over and over again trying to order a pizza. Turns out she had been kidnapped and held hostage and the kidnapper was always too close for her to say "help me". One dispatcher finally played along and sent a cop and ended up saving the girls life...ANYWAY
She had a spiel about how one of these supposed cannibals was a Hells Angel back in the day and he trained all these new generation cannibals. She had a really strange way of pronouncing the word too, kind of like cabbinals, but more southern?
The woman got really angry with me for supposedly laughing at her... I cannot possibly convey this conversation to give it justice... but trust me... it was nuts, and she hung up on me. And I still don't have enough info to at least TRY to help her. Even if that help is just a ride to the loony bin...
She called us, refusing to give her name (which makes me think it's a prank or she is indeed crazy), and from a grocery store payphone. She then began listing off a bunch of names that sounded like mafioso nicknames and told me I needed to tell their judges that they are all a bunch of cannibals and they tried to eat her friend tonight. In fact, she SAW them biting his BRAIN!
(This is also the part where my imagination jumps to zombies and I curse myself for leaving my machete at home)She then goes on about how these guys are baby eaters and they are eating babies left and right. (I think we would have noticed a mass dissapearance of infants...but that's my opinion) At this point, I am trying hard to take her seriously, I really am. There is a reason we try so hard to take them seriously. For example; there is a recorded call I got to listen to where this girl calls 911 over and over again trying to order a pizza. Turns out she had been kidnapped and held hostage and the kidnapper was always too close for her to say "help me". One dispatcher finally played along and sent a cop and ended up saving the girls life...ANYWAY
She had a spiel about how one of these supposed cannibals was a Hells Angel back in the day and he trained all these new generation cannibals. She had a really strange way of pronouncing the word too, kind of like cabbinals, but more southern?
The woman got really angry with me for supposedly laughing at her... I cannot possibly convey this conversation to give it justice... but trust me... it was nuts, and she hung up on me. And I still don't have enough info to at least TRY to help her. Even if that help is just a ride to the loony bin...
Shame on you! Put your machete next to the door so you can grab it on your way out! You never know when the Zombie Apocalypse will begin!
Comment