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  • #1

    Don't you have anything better to do?

    You know how you always think of the perfect retort hours later, when it's too late? Not one of those times.
    Picked up the phone at work tonight:

    Me: "<Company>, how can I help you?"
    Obviously Bored Brat: "Yes, are you playing adult movies in your Reserved Dining theater?"
    Me: *sensing potential for fun* "Adult movies? Such as...?"
    OBB: "Are you playing ...ASIAN BUTTFUCKERS?"
    *cue giggling in background*
    Me: "I'm sorry, we're not."
    OBB: "Do you know where else ASIAN BUTTFUCKERS might be playing?"
    Me: "How about at your mom's house?" *click*

    I swear, it was like I was on autopilot. Made my night
    "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds..."

    Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Quoth spookysonata View Post
    Me: "How about at your mom's house?"


    Job well done.
    SC Motto "I am more important than you and others and don't you ever forget it"

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    • #3
      Nice work.
      "Always stand near the door." -- Doctor Who

      Kuya's Kitchen -- Cooking, Cooking Gadgets, and Food Related Blather from a Transplanted Foodie

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      • #4
        Nice one! Put them in their place.

        Just hope it doesn't come back to bite you, or you have a cool supervisor who'll laugh with you.
        Carpe Jugulum : Go for the throat.

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        • #5
          (sound of chair and body hitting the floor)ok I'm back, that was funny good one. I would love to be able to do that at my job.
          I like to scare small childeren, it's fun and as long as you can out run the parents you can get away with it.

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          • #6
            I would have asked them if they had reservations, gotten their info, then called them back later (preferably when parents would be likely to answer) to confirm/cancel their reservation.

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            • #7
              Quoth Seraphim View Post
              Just hope it doesn't come back to bite you, or you have a cool supervisor who'll laugh with you.
              I have a feeling that's probably the last time he'll be calling. Even if the brat did complain, I doubt he'd get very far.

              Yes, job well done! I bet you wish you could have seen the look on the little brat's face when you came back with that one. I can only imagine he probably would have been able to mop the floor with his chin!
              "500 bucks, that's almost a million!"
              ~Curly from the 3 Stooges

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              • #8
                *cue sound of a large and very loud round of applause*

                that was GGGGGREAT!
                look! it's ghengis khan!
                Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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                • #9
                  *bows*

                  Thank you, thank you.

                  Yeah, I thought about possible repercussions after I hung up, but somehow I can't see the kid calling my sup back to say "Yeah, I just prank called your fine establishment and the response I got was very RUDE!"
                  "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds..."

                  Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth spookysonata View Post
                    You know how you always think of the perfect retort hours later, when it's too late?
                    "Backward, turn backward, O time in your flight
                    I've just thought of the wisecrack I needed last night!"

                    From a book, "2001 Insults For All Occasions" I owned in my youth.
                    "Sir, if you don't shut up, I'm going to kick one hundred percent of your ass!" - "Brad Hamilton", Fast Times at Ridgemont High

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Seraphim View Post
                      Nice one! Put them in their place.

                      Just hope it doesn't come back to bite you, or you have a cool supervisor who'll laugh with you.
                      I doubt that kid's gonna call back. Really, what's he going to say? hehe.

                      Very well done, beautiful
                      Pit bull-

                      There is no breed of dog more in need of our compassion; in need of our call to arms on their behalf; and in need of what should be the full force of our enduring sanctuary.

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                      • #12
                        I bow to your greatness. That was one comeback I would have loved to use in my time!
                        "You're not gone five minutes, Agent Scully, and I'm already starting to feel like a stranger in my own office-"
                        -Agent Doggett

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                        • #13
                          :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
                          When I said "From my research", what I actually meant to say was "Made shit up" - from a thottbot thread

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                          • #14
                            Well played, sir, well played.

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