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You... are sucky. (long, unsatisfying)
I went to school with KG and JM. They were spoiled rich girls who had charge accounts in 4th grade. That should tell you something.
They call from the local hospital, on the 3rd floor (see: psych ward and infectious disease ward and almost ICU/CCU condition area).
This was over the phone.
Me: Thank you fro calling (company), this is UnholyPet, how may I help you?
KG: Well, I'm in the hospital and I want a delivery.
Me: Okay, can I have the number to the hospital?
KG: I AM IN THE HOSPITAL so we are using my cellphone.
Me: (why the fuck do you have that turned on in a hospital?) I'm sorry, but your cell does not have an address, one moment while I look up the hospital.... and okay, which room are you in?
KG: 3rd floor.
Me: Okay, but which room are you in?
KG: We are on the THIRD floor!
Me: ...OKAY, but which room are you in?
KG: 3034.
Me: All right, thank you. Are you east or west side? (we have to ask, as mentioned above it is a strictly controlled floor level)
KG: Um. We're across from it.
No you're not. The nurse's station is across from there, followed by a broom closet.
Me: Are you moe left or right of the elevator?
KG: We're left of it.
Me: Okay, so west side? (not safe side)
KG: Which is that?
Me: The left side is the psych ward. West side.
KG: Oh, we're on the other place.
Me: ...are you in the (almost CCU/ICU) ward on the right/east side?
KG: OH YEAH, I got that confused.
Took her name n number, and she argued with at least five other people a moment. By the way, we've had trouble with people confusing us with other places, and using odd names for our food. That makes people think we have things we don't, so we are told to correct the word mistakes in as polite a way as possible.
KG: I want a large Snappoli, a Snapperoni, and a cheese stick.
Me: Okay, we only have Snappolies, and then we have Pockets, you said large so do you just mean the Snappoli?
KG: NO! I said a large one.
Me: We only have Snappolies in one size.
KG: Well, I want a large one.
Me: We only have it in one size, or you can get a Pocket. Are you wanting the bigger one?
KG: Well, yeah.
Me: What kind of Snappoli would you like?
KG: I want a LARGE ham and cheese.
Me: So a ham and cheese Snappoli, and you would like a Snapperoni, as well?
KG: Yeah.
Me: What size do you need?
KG: What sizes do you have?
Me: We have the Large, Medium, Baby Beast, and the Beast sizes.
So I explain, "the Baby is a four slice smaller pizza, and the Beast is a giant twenty four slice pizza."
KG: Do you just cut one pizza into small slices, or is it a big one.
Me:
Its a giant tenty four slice pizza...
She argues with the background, and I hear JM yelling," STUPID! We want a large, there are six of us here!" No one mentioned that to me, you bitch.
KG: Its a large then.
Me: Okay, and a cheese stick. What size do you want for it?
KG: What sizes are they in?
Me: Large or small.
KG: I want a medium.
Me: (you rude, spoiled little daughter of a goat, I will beat you senseless if I can one day) We only have large or small.
KG: OH, so this is the large Snappoli thing again.
Me: We only carry CHEESESTICKS in large or small.
KG: I want a Beast one.
Would you like me to rip your arms off and eat them?
Me: So, large or small?
KG: Beast.
Me: Large or small?
KG: BABY Beast.
Me: Large or small?
I might get indigestion after that. I'll be sure to return your arms to you. Eww.
We went on like that until she submitted to small, and ordered sauces.
Me: And are you paying with a credit card?
KG: I want a two dollar tip on it.
Me: ...okay, are you paying with a card?
KG: With a two dollar tip.
We get through this. I write down the first card number, and punch it in. Invalid. I write down a similar number, invalid. I write down a third similar number, and...
Me: I'm sorry, it says this card is invalid.
KG: You take Visa, right?
Me: Yes, but you are not giving me a Visa number.
KG: How do you know?
Me: Visa starts with a 4. You are giving me a 1.
KG: OH MY GAWD.
-Five other girls: OH MY FSCKING GAWD!
Me:
KG: I was giving it to you backwards.
...she gave it to me right -> left.
JM: Oh m gad, give me the phone.
KG: You bitch!
*rustle rustle... BITCH.. rustle.. I'm so-- QUIT TOUCHING It--rustle*
JM: Hello?
Me: Hello. =_=
JM: We're done.
Me: Okay, we'll bring a strip for you to sign, and another for you to keep. It takes somewhere around 30 minutes, and we'll bring it to your room.
JM: It WILL be 30min.
Me: Close to that, yes.
JM: No, it WILL BE HERE in 30min.
Me: ...it may be a bit longer, but yes. CLOSE to 30min.
JM: *click*
I took my sweet-ass time making the order. I'd have done horrible things to their food, but that goes against my personal moral code.
Hard to believe just three years of this has turned me from a naive, sweet-mannered shy girl, into a customer-loathing, almost-negative-faith-in-humanity, mostly sweet, dry humored girl.
They call from the local hospital, on the 3rd floor (see: psych ward and infectious disease ward and almost ICU/CCU condition area).
This was over the phone.
Me: Thank you fro calling (company), this is UnholyPet, how may I help you?
KG: Well, I'm in the hospital and I want a delivery.
Me: Okay, can I have the number to the hospital?
KG: I AM IN THE HOSPITAL so we are using my cellphone.
Me: (why the fuck do you have that turned on in a hospital?) I'm sorry, but your cell does not have an address, one moment while I look up the hospital.... and okay, which room are you in?
KG: 3rd floor.
Me: Okay, but which room are you in?
KG: We are on the THIRD floor!
Me: ...OKAY, but which room are you in?
KG: 3034.
Me: All right, thank you. Are you east or west side? (we have to ask, as mentioned above it is a strictly controlled floor level)
KG: Um. We're across from it.
No you're not. The nurse's station is across from there, followed by a broom closet.
Me: Are you moe left or right of the elevator?
KG: We're left of it.
Me: Okay, so west side? (not safe side)
KG: Which is that?
Me: The left side is the psych ward. West side.
KG: Oh, we're on the other place.
Me: ...are you in the (almost CCU/ICU) ward on the right/east side?
KG: OH YEAH, I got that confused.
Took her name n number, and she argued with at least five other people a moment. By the way, we've had trouble with people confusing us with other places, and using odd names for our food. That makes people think we have things we don't, so we are told to correct the word mistakes in as polite a way as possible.
KG: I want a large Snappoli, a Snapperoni, and a cheese stick.
Me: Okay, we only have Snappolies, and then we have Pockets, you said large so do you just mean the Snappoli?
KG: NO! I said a large one.
Me: We only have Snappolies in one size.
KG: Well, I want a large one.
Me: We only have it in one size, or you can get a Pocket. Are you wanting the bigger one?
KG: Well, yeah.
Me: What kind of Snappoli would you like?
KG: I want a LARGE ham and cheese.
Me: So a ham and cheese Snappoli, and you would like a Snapperoni, as well?
KG: Yeah.
Me: What size do you need?
KG: What sizes do you have?
Me: We have the Large, Medium, Baby Beast, and the Beast sizes.
So I explain, "the Baby is a four slice smaller pizza, and the Beast is a giant twenty four slice pizza."
KG: Do you just cut one pizza into small slices, or is it a big one.
Me:
Its a giant tenty four slice pizza...She argues with the background, and I hear JM yelling," STUPID! We want a large, there are six of us here!" No one mentioned that to me, you bitch.
KG: Its a large then.
Me: Okay, and a cheese stick. What size do you want for it?
KG: What sizes are they in?
Me: Large or small.
KG: I want a medium.
Me: (you rude, spoiled little daughter of a goat, I will beat you senseless if I can one day) We only have large or small.
KG: OH, so this is the large Snappoli thing again.
Me: We only carry CHEESESTICKS in large or small.
KG: I want a Beast one.
Would you like me to rip your arms off and eat them?
Me: So, large or small?
KG: Beast.
Me: Large or small?
KG: BABY Beast.
Me: Large or small?
I might get indigestion after that. I'll be sure to return your arms to you. Eww.
We went on like that until she submitted to small, and ordered sauces.
Me: And are you paying with a credit card?
KG: I want a two dollar tip on it.
Me: ...okay, are you paying with a card?
KG: With a two dollar tip.
We get through this. I write down the first card number, and punch it in. Invalid. I write down a similar number, invalid. I write down a third similar number, and...
Me: I'm sorry, it says this card is invalid.
KG: You take Visa, right?
Me: Yes, but you are not giving me a Visa number.
KG: How do you know?
Me: Visa starts with a 4. You are giving me a 1.
KG: OH MY GAWD.
-Five other girls: OH MY FSCKING GAWD!
Me:
KG: I was giving it to you backwards.
...she gave it to me right -> left.
JM: Oh m gad, give me the phone.
KG: You bitch!
*rustle rustle... BITCH.. rustle.. I'm so-- QUIT TOUCHING It--rustle*
JM: Hello?
Me: Hello. =_=
JM: We're done.
Me: Okay, we'll bring a strip for you to sign, and another for you to keep. It takes somewhere around 30 minutes, and we'll bring it to your room.
JM: It WILL be 30min.
Me: Close to that, yes.
JM: No, it WILL BE HERE in 30min.
Me: ...it may be a bit longer, but yes. CLOSE to 30min.
JM: *click*
I took my sweet-ass time making the order. I'd have done horrible things to their food, but that goes against my personal moral code.
Hard to believe just three years of this has turned me from a naive, sweet-mannered shy girl, into a customer-loathing, almost-negative-faith-in-humanity, mostly sweet, dry humored girl.
-a-thon™.
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