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  • #1

    Saturday Sucky Stew

    Weirdos all day long yesterday. It was almost like a full moon. I am still speechless.

    Me: Thank you for calling blah-blah. My name is blah. How may I help you.
    CS1: Yeah, I bought a mug at a garage sale and it has an FTD sticker on it. Is it safe to drink out of?
    Me: Ma'am, we're not FTD.
    CS1: But is it poisonous to drink out of?
    Me: I have no way to knowing that.
    CS1: Look, just tell me if it's okay to drink out it..
    and so on..

    Me: Thank you for calling blah-blah. My name is blah. How may I help you.
    CS2: Someone gave me poinsettas at Christmas and I want to know how to make them turn red.
    Me: (doing a double take because we just sell flowers..) Ma'am, I'm not sure.
    CS2: Well you should know, that's your job.
    Me: Actually ma'am, no it's not. Do you have a computer and access to the internet?
    CS2: Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?
    Me: (big sigh before looking up the info online for little old lady)

    Me: Thank you for calling blah-blah. My name is blah. How may I help you.
    CS3: I want to order some of those special Campbells soup bowls you carry.
    Me: I'm sorry but we don't carry soup bowls, we're a florist service.
    CS3: (very put out now) yes you do because I got a get well flower arrangement in one. I just want to buy a set of the bowls.
    Me: When was this that you received the arrangement.
    CS3: Oh let's see, I think I got it back in the, umm, early 1980s.
    Me: We do not carry that item. That was 25 years ago.
    CS3: (Extremely pissy now) But you should! You did! Where am I going to find these bowls, I want to speak to a manager RIGHT NOW!
    Me: No ma'am, the manager is busy right now. Try Ebay for your bowls.

    Me: Thank you for calling blah-blah. My name is blah. How may I help you.
    CS4: So were my flowers delivered my order number is STD 30498585487 and I'm sick of waiting to hear back from you people.
    Me: Sir, you've called the wrong florist, that's our competitors order number
    click

    Me: Thank you for calling blah-blah. My name is blah. How may I help you.
    CS5 (extremely pissed off) I've called you morons about a dozen times to find out if my flowers were delivered and no one can tell me a damn thing. my order number is blah blah blah, if I don't get satisfaction RIGHT NOW I'm going to ruin your business by blogging about my TERRIBLE experience with your company!!
    Me: (big sigh) Sir, you've reached the sales floor, the number for customer service is blah-blah and I'll transfer you now..
    CS5: No, no! Do not transfer me. just tell me if my damn flowers were delivered. Look up my order right now!
    Me: (stops and looks in system) Sir, they are scheduled for delivery for tomorrow not today.
    CS5: No, they are supposed to go out on April 27th, NOT tomorrow.
    Me: Sir, today is Saturday April 26th.
    CS5 Oh.
    Silence
    Click

    Me: Thank you for calling blah-blah. My name is blah. How may I help you.
    CS6: Yeah, can you tell me what flowers and colors are appropriate for a Chinese-Polish funeral?
    Me: (puzzling and thinking wtf?) Uhh, I'm not entirely sure. Were you trying to put together floral arrangements for a funeral?
    CS6: oH, for heavens sake... click.
    "No, I will not poop a shopping cart out for you." - Irving Patrick Freleigh
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Quoth calulu View Post
    CS6: Yeah, can you tell me what flowers and colors are appropriate for a Chinese-Polish funeral?
    huh? wha?

    Actually, your entire post made my head hurt. That's an abundance of SC - too much for so early in the morning.
    "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

    Comment

    • #3
      Quoth calulu View Post
      Me: Thank you for calling blah-blah. My name is blah. How may I help you.
      CS6: Yeah, can you tell me what flowers and colors are appropriate for a Chinese-Polish funeral?
      Me: (puzzling and thinking wtf?) Uhh, I'm not entirely sure. Were you trying to put together floral arrangements for a funeral?
      CS6: oH, for heavens sake... click.
      Uhm.......white calalilies and......uhm......Gods, I'm Polish/German I should know this one.......

      I don't know, hot pink carnations with purple stripes. It's a flipping funeral, as long as it's not anything that means "Happiness" in the Language of Flowers it should be fine.
      Now a member of that alien race called Management.

      Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

      Comment

      • #4
        Quoth calulu View Post
        CS6: Yeah, can you tell me what flowers and colors are appropriate for a Chinese-Polish funeral?
        Hmmmmmm...black roses are good for every occasion.
        Unseen but seeing
        oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
        There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
        3rd shift needs love, too
        RIP, mo bhrionglóid

        Comment

        • #5
          Wow! I'm sitting here going by just reading your post. I could not imagine actually having to live through it!
          "500 bucks, that's almost a million!"
          ~Curly from the 3 Stooges

          Comment

          • #6
            Campbell's soup bowls? I dunno...it's just a hunch...I'm probably waay off base...but perhaps...uh...the Campbell's Soup company?
            I don't go in for ancient wisdom
            I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
            It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

            Comment

            • #7
              Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
              Campbell's soup bowls? I dunno...it's just a hunch...I'm probably waay off base...but perhaps...uh...the Campbell's Soup company?
              probably their contracted merchandiser - i doubt they have a in company mercantising division

              Comment

              • #8
                Quoth Cyphr View Post
                probably their contracted merchandiser - i doubt they have a in company mercantising division
                Actually they have a shop on their website, but I didn't find bowls like what the SC seems to have been looking for. I have, however, seen soup bowls with the Campbell's logo in various stores, including the grocery store.

                They do have Campbell's wallpaper...and lampshades...and lots of other weird stuff like that..
                I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth BeckySunshine View Post
                  Hmmmmmm...black roses are good for every occasion.
                  Well, white is the color for death in China, so white would be a good choice. Especially since white is also the color of lilies, which are often associated with funerals.

                  ^-.-^
                  Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    FTD does an arrangement in a Campbells soup bowl, or they did. We are not FTD.

                    I usually suggest all white when they are asking about funeral colors and culture. Black roses are dyed roses and last less than 24 hours.
                    "No, I will not poop a shopping cart out for you." - Irving Patrick Freleigh

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      I thought

                      Quoth calulu View Post
                      Black roses are dyed roses and last less than 24 hours.
                      Someone developed black roses (am I wrong?), or that real black roses are so expensive that dyed ones make more sense?

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        The developed 'black' roses are actually a very deep red/purple, difficult to get and too ex-pen-sive for the penny pinchin' assholes that call our service.

                        Roses are overrated anyhoo, they die... gimme an orchid plant or a bonsai tree any day instead of cut roses.
                        "No, I will not poop a shopping cart out for you." - Irving Patrick Freleigh

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Mmm.... I love actual plants. I can't keep 'em alive, but they're better than cut flowers any day of the week.

                          ^-.-^
                          Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                          Comment

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