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Graveyard Shift....(long)
Hey all, new face here. Although I've been reading the site for a fair while. It keeps me sane at work. Which I need after 5 years in a call centre....on the graveyard shift. 
First, a little background, so you can understand my pain. I work at a call centre that outsources to other companies. Basically we'll train people to do whatever you want, be it tech support, emergency lines, order lines, doctor's offices, etc. You say it, we'll force someone to do it.
This also means I have a *very* wide spectrum of morons to choose from on any given day. Since I work the graveyard, I'm trained to handle all of our clients. Variety is the pain of life. Afterhours we keep an operator or two for our clients with 24 hour emergency lines. But what tends to happen is other companies like to take advantage of the 24 hour thing. So we often get calls for innane things in the middle of the night.
I have enough stories to write a small novel, but I'll start with a few examples from last night:
1. Order Line Idiots:
We have one client, a clothing company, that likes to have their order line on 24/7. Its really the only order line thats on at night...and it *always* gets callers from the few areas of Canada at night, sometimes even from the same towns. They almost always order the same kind of stuff and they're almost always universally SCs. Always between 2 and 3 am.
I had this call last night....guy placing an order (From one of the places on our Twit List(tm). So I'm taking his information, name, etc....
Me: "Whats your phone number?"
SC: "(Mumbles what sounds like 4 numbers)"
Me: "Pardon?"
SC: "(Mutters 4 numbers again)"
Me: "I need your entire phone number."
At this point he leaves the phone and goes to ask someone else in the background what his own phone number is. A moron huddle if you will. This takes a few moments....
SC: "(Mumbles 7 numbers this time)"
Me: "Whats your area code?"
SC: "Uhhh……wait."
Again, he leaves the line to go discuss this with someone else in the background.....
SC: "Uhh...its xxx"
Me: "and your postal code?"
SC: "Uhhhh…..what?"
Me: "Your postal code."
SC: "What's that?"
Me: "…..it's part of your address."
SC: "Huh? I don't know."
Me: "Well, you can't place an order without a postal code." (...duh)
SC: "I don't know, this is my first time doing this."
Me: "Still, you need a postal code to place an order." (DUH)
SC: "Uhhh….wait."
Once again, he goes to have a moron huddle with someone else to try and solve the riddle of his own address.
SC: "Uhh, its xxx xxx"
Me: "and your address?"
SC: "Uh..."
Me: "Do you have a box number?" (These calls are almost always PO boxes)
SC: "General delivery"
Me: "Ok, and what would you like to order?
SC: "Uhh..a hat."
Me: "Can you tell me the product number? Its next to the item in the catalogue."
SC: "Uhh……"
Me: "....right next to the picture of the hat."
SC: "E."
Me: "…..E?"
SC: "Yeah."
Me: "It should be a series of numbers. No letters."
Yet again he has to take a time out to consult other people in the background to find the number...next to the picture....of the catalogue he's looking at.
He eventually comes back with the correct number, and of course places it COD. Then after all of that, doesn't even say thank you. The worst part is practically every caller on that line at this time of night is like that.
They often do things like order a $12 hat COD (COD shipping is $26-$36). Even when you point out their shipping will cost 2-3 times as much as their hat, they still want it.
2. Entitlement Whores (Woohoo~)
One of our clients is a travel agency and they keep a line open afterhours just for messages and what not. A hotel calls in at around 3am and gets my co-worker. They explain they have a guest that wants to change her accomodations. My co-worker tells them the office is closed till 8am so there's no way we can change her accomodations until the morning. As her travel agent is (obviously) not available at 3am.
Few minutes later, the hotel calls back again and gets me. I give them the same explaination as my coworker: Its 3 in the morning, there are no travel agents available to help her. Now, I can only imagine what this desk clerk has been suffering to have come to this, but she asks me if she can put me threw to the guest because, get this, the guest will not accept no for an answer from the lowly desk clerk. (shakes fist)
I foolishly agree and get put through to this woman who immediately starts going on about her "inadequate" accomodations. I try to explain to her, yet again, that its 3am so no one is available to help her. But she doesn't let me get a word in edge wise for the first 30 seconds or so. When she's finally forced to pause to breath I explain to her the blatantly obvious. Its 3 in the morning, there's no travel agents that can assist her. She'll have till wait till the morning.
She completely ignores me and gives me the same spiel all over again. I explain again. She repeats herself. I patiently explain *again* and this goes back and forth about 5 times with me explaining and her ignoring reality. She finally starts to listen by the 6th time, but changes her tune to something about having to make it to a church function this morning so she needs her room changed right now (What?). I explain about two more times and she finally catchs on and vows to call back later....I pity her travel agent.
This was just two calls from one shift.....its only the tip of the iceberg. I could literally go on for pages, but I'll try and pace myself. =p
First, a little background, so you can understand my pain. I work at a call centre that outsources to other companies. Basically we'll train people to do whatever you want, be it tech support, emergency lines, order lines, doctor's offices, etc. You say it, we'll force someone to do it.
This also means I have a *very* wide spectrum of morons to choose from on any given day. Since I work the graveyard, I'm trained to handle all of our clients. Variety is the pain of life. Afterhours we keep an operator or two for our clients with 24 hour emergency lines. But what tends to happen is other companies like to take advantage of the 24 hour thing. So we often get calls for innane things in the middle of the night.
I have enough stories to write a small novel, but I'll start with a few examples from last night:
1. Order Line Idiots:
We have one client, a clothing company, that likes to have their order line on 24/7. Its really the only order line thats on at night...and it *always* gets callers from the few areas of Canada at night, sometimes even from the same towns. They almost always order the same kind of stuff and they're almost always universally SCs. Always between 2 and 3 am.
I had this call last night....guy placing an order (From one of the places on our Twit List(tm). So I'm taking his information, name, etc....
Me: "Whats your phone number?"
SC: "(Mumbles what sounds like 4 numbers)"
Me: "Pardon?"
SC: "(Mutters 4 numbers again)"
Me: "I need your entire phone number."
At this point he leaves the phone and goes to ask someone else in the background what his own phone number is. A moron huddle if you will. This takes a few moments....
SC: "(Mumbles 7 numbers this time)"
Me: "Whats your area code?"
SC: "Uhhh……wait."
Again, he leaves the line to go discuss this with someone else in the background.....
SC: "Uhh...its xxx"
Me: "and your postal code?"
SC: "Uhhhh…..what?"
Me: "Your postal code."
SC: "What's that?"
Me: "…..it's part of your address."
SC: "Huh? I don't know."
Me: "Well, you can't place an order without a postal code." (...duh)
SC: "I don't know, this is my first time doing this."
Me: "Still, you need a postal code to place an order." (DUH)
SC: "Uhhh….wait."
Once again, he goes to have a moron huddle with someone else to try and solve the riddle of his own address.
SC: "Uhh, its xxx xxx"
Me: "and your address?"
SC: "Uh..."
Me: "Do you have a box number?" (These calls are almost always PO boxes)
SC: "General delivery"
Me: "Ok, and what would you like to order?
SC: "Uhh..a hat."
Me: "Can you tell me the product number? Its next to the item in the catalogue."
SC: "Uhh……"
Me: "....right next to the picture of the hat."
SC: "E."
Me: "…..E?"
SC: "Yeah."
Me: "It should be a series of numbers. No letters."
Yet again he has to take a time out to consult other people in the background to find the number...next to the picture....of the catalogue he's looking at.
He eventually comes back with the correct number, and of course places it COD. Then after all of that, doesn't even say thank you. The worst part is practically every caller on that line at this time of night is like that.
They often do things like order a $12 hat COD (COD shipping is $26-$36). Even when you point out their shipping will cost 2-3 times as much as their hat, they still want it.
2. Entitlement Whores (Woohoo~)
One of our clients is a travel agency and they keep a line open afterhours just for messages and what not. A hotel calls in at around 3am and gets my co-worker. They explain they have a guest that wants to change her accomodations. My co-worker tells them the office is closed till 8am so there's no way we can change her accomodations until the morning. As her travel agent is (obviously) not available at 3am.
Few minutes later, the hotel calls back again and gets me. I give them the same explaination as my coworker: Its 3 in the morning, there are no travel agents available to help her. Now, I can only imagine what this desk clerk has been suffering to have come to this, but she asks me if she can put me threw to the guest because, get this, the guest will not accept no for an answer from the lowly desk clerk. (shakes fist)
I foolishly agree and get put through to this woman who immediately starts going on about her "inadequate" accomodations. I try to explain to her, yet again, that its 3am so no one is available to help her. But she doesn't let me get a word in edge wise for the first 30 seconds or so. When she's finally forced to pause to breath I explain to her the blatantly obvious. Its 3 in the morning, there's no travel agents that can assist her. She'll have till wait till the morning.
She completely ignores me and gives me the same spiel all over again. I explain again. She repeats herself. I patiently explain *again* and this goes back and forth about 5 times with me explaining and her ignoring reality. She finally starts to listen by the 6th time, but changes her tune to something about having to make it to a church function this morning so she needs her room changed right now (What?). I explain about two more times and she finally catchs on and vows to call back later....I pity her travel agent.
This was just two calls from one shift.....its only the tip of the iceberg. I could literally go on for pages, but I'll try and pace myself. =p
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