Quotes from people that should not have credit cards.

[HoneyDippinDan]

Actual things i've had customer say to me at the credit card call center:

"What do you mean I'm being charged interest? Everyone knows that credit cards aren't allowed to charge interest!"

You know, because interest free loans are so lucrative these days. Even sadder, I've heard this more than once.

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"What do you mean there's a limit to how much I can spend on my card!?!"

This guy blew through $3500 in less than 2 months. And it wasn't on stuff that needed financing, it was all little stuff like trips to McDonalds. The majority of his purchases were $5 or less.

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SC: I was listening to your automated system, and I think it said I owed $117.

ME: Actually you owe $170.

SC: How can that be?

ME: Your previous balance was $270, you paid $100, so now you owe $170.

SC: I'll just assume that I only owe $117 because I like that amount better. And if my bill comes any differently, I'll be calling up again to raise holy hell with you guys!"

ME:

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"Is my credit card a credit card or a debit card?"

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SC: This card won't work.

ME: According to my system, you're attepting to use an expired credit card. What is the expiration date on that card you are using?

SC: It says the expiration date is 01/05.

ME: Well, there's the problem. You should be using a newer card.

SC: But doesn't expiration date mean that's the day you sent it out? That means this is the newest one.

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"I need to report some fraud on my account. According to my statement, I was billed by a place called Late Fee. I know I've never shopped there."

It got even better, when I explained that the fee due to her payment being late, she screamed the payment being late was impossible, since she had put the payment in the mail a WHOLE TWO DAYS before the payment was due. She was adamant that she had sent her payment in plenty of time.

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SC: How much is my minimum due?

ME: Your minimum due is $20. It is due [in three weeks].

SC: Holy crap! Can I get an extension on the due date? It'll be a long time before I come up with that kind of money.

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SC, who's balance is now double than the original purchase due to interest and lates fees: Can I set my password for this account to 1234? That's the same PIN number I have on my food stamp card, so it'll be eaisier to remember.

ME, a taxpayer who's helping to suport this dumb ass:

[CanadaGirl]

SC: But doesn't expiration date mean that's the day you sent it out? That means this is the newest one.

They obviously don't understand the meaning of expire.

SC: How much is my minimum due?

ME: Your minimum due is $20. It is due [in three weeks].

SC: Holy crap! Can I get an extension on the due date? It'll be a long time before I come up with that kind of money.

This person obviously lacks a job if they have problems getting $20. Borrow from a friend, even!



Edit: Thanks for the laughs, Dan!

[Gurndigarn]

"What do you mean there's a limit to how much I can spend on my card!?!"

This guy blew through $3500 in less than 2 months. And it wasn't on stuff that needed financing, it was all little stuff like trips to McDonalds. The majority of his purchases were $5 or less.

I had a foster brother-in-law who ran up a thousand bucks on a card... then went in to the place he got it to get a new one. The old one didn't work any more.

He's gotten better, I've been told.

[Rapscallion]

This reminds me of when I was cleaning windows for an alleged living. I was doing the inside of an office that dealt with credit, and I overheard one side of a conversation that ran:

"So, why did you get a loan from us if you knew you couldn't pay it back?"

Part of me was saying that the company was just as at fault for not checking this, another part agreed, and a third screamed that I shouldn't be listening.

Rapscallion

[Zinjadu]

Must be related to those morons that have 6 or 7 credit cards, and insist I keep trying them all, because "there must be something left on one of these".

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"What do you mean there's a limit to how much I can spend on my card!?!"

This guy blew through $3500 in less than 2 months. And it wasn't on stuff that needed financing, it was all little stuff like trips to McDonalds. The majority of his purchases were $5 or less.

That guy needs a , and a personal finance class.

SC: I was listening to your automated system, and I think it said I owed $117.

ME: Actually you owe $170.

SC: How can that be?

ME: Your previous balance was $270, you paid $100, so now you owe $170.

SC: I'll just assume that I only owe $117 because I like that amount better. And if my bill comes any differently, I'll be calling up again to raise holy hell with you guys!"

ME:

When I get paid on Friday, I will assume my check is in the amount of one million dollars, because I like that amount better.

"I need to report some fraud on my account. According to my statement, I was billed by a place called Late Fee. I know I've never shopped there."

And there go more brain cells. Gone, gone forever.

SC: How much is my minimum due?

ME: Your minimum due is $20. It is due [in three weeks].

SC: Holy crap! Can I get an extension on the due date? It'll be a long time before I come up with that kind of money.

Good Lord, what does that person do for a living? Look for change on the sidewalk?

[dispatch]

This person obviously lacks a job if they have problems getting $20. Borrow from a friend, even!

some people who have made unemployment a lifestyle have done so by mercilessly living off of the gratuities of others

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when I worked CS for a credit card company I had one guy call in asking why we wouldn't let him charge anymore on his card, when I explained that we stop allowing purchases when you exceed your credit limit he got upset and started bragging about how he's so rich (or stupid) that he doesn't care or keep track of what he's spending

"I'm out there, I'm charging, buying gas, buying dinner for clients, one card gets full and I just use another one, I've got $100,000 of credit in my pocket, I don't need to be treated like this"
he decided to close the account, but got all snooty when I reminded him he still had to pay off the balance.

[batmoody]

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SC: This card won't work.

ME: According to my system, you're attepting to use an expired credit card. What is the expiration date on that card you are using?

SC: It says the expiration date is 01/05.

ME: Well, there's the problem. You should be using a newer card.

SC: But doesn't expiration date mean that's the day you sent it out? That means this is the newest one.

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I'd like to see what happens when this guy tries to buy a gallon of milk, or eggs.....

[HawaiianShirts]

This thread brings back memories. Permit me to add a few of my own from the call center days?

Me: Thank you for calling Small Business Credit Card Company Application Line to apply for a credit card for your business. (Collects information such as name and address from caller.) And may I have the name of your business?
Caller: Bid-ness? I don't have no bid-ness.

Me: Congratulations. You've been approved. Your credit limit is $1400 and your credit card will arrive in 7-10 business days.
Caller: $1400! That's awesome! That's the easiest thousand bucks I ever made! Who needs to work when you've got a credit card?

Me: May I have your social security number, please?
Caller: Sure, it's ###-##-####.
Me: And may I have your mailing address?
Caller: What the **** do you need THAT for?
Me: So I know where to send your credit card.
Caller: I don't like that. I don't think I want to give you my address.

Caller: Can I get a credit card without you doing a credit check on me?

Me: Congratulations. You've been approved. Your credit limit is $15,000.
Caller: That's it? That's all you're giving me? **** it.

Caller: I want to get my son a credit card for Christmas. Can I apply for one in his name?
Me: No, sir. I'm sorry. That would constitute fraud, and we'd both get in big trouble for it.
Caller: That's stupid! He's responsible enough for a credit card. I mean, he is sixteen now, and he needs to build his credit.

I've had people get credit and debit cards confused, but that's understandable. One guy, though, thought he could get a green card through me.

Then there were those with the bizarre names. Customers with oriental accents trying to spell their names and giving me letters like "E, uh, 4, teh, go, 9, W." Or customers from states like Alabama and Georgia with names like "Shalondamoniqua." That one was just strange enough to me that I had to write it down.

[MadMike]

Here's a conversation I had with my ex back in the early stages of our disastrous relationship, which should have been a huge red flag.

Her: I don't feel like cooking tonight. (Like she ever did?) Let's go out to eat.

Me: I'm broke until Friday.

Her: Why don't we use your credit card?

Me: I'm over the limit.

Her: Can't you use it anyway?

Obviously, she couldn't understand the concept of a "limit."

[HoneyDippinDan]

Caller: Can I get a credit card without you doing a credit check on me?

I've had that one before. I also talked to two different people (oddly enough, both were within a day of eachother) that claimed they started up an account in their friend's names because they had a lousy credit and now that the accounts had been approved, they wanted the accounts switched into their names i.e. they wanted me to assist them with credit card fraud.

"I'm out there, I'm charging, buying gas, buying dinner for clients, one card gets full and I just use another one, I've got $100,000 of credit in my pocket, I don't need to be treated like this"

There are people out there that really don't know the difference between earned and borrowed money. I've had people demand that I remove late fees because they have high credit lines and that obviously makes them very important people, I've had people refer to credit cards as "income" which just drives me crazy and I've had people tell me about how we owe them something because they have paid us thousands of dollars, when what they mean is that they've back thousands of dollars.