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I've been SC free for an unusually long time, so I guess I had this coming to me:
SC: Your program has an error in the [output]!
Me: OK. Just send us the [output] file with the error in it and we'll take a look at it. Also give us a note letting us know what we are looking for and where to look if it's a long file.
SC: Why can't I just tell you?
Me: Because we need to see the actual error. A verbal description is too ambiguous to interpret.
SC: I don't understand. It will take LONGER to do this by email. [If you substitute the words "EFFORT! On my part!" for the word "LONGER" in that sentence, you'll get what he really meant.]
Me: That's how we process error reports. A verbal description is pretty much useless to us for fixing these things.
SC: I don't know why you can't just write it down. Nobody wants to do anything.
Me: You certainly don't have to report the error if you don't wish to. [Pot, meet kettle.]
SC: I'm trying to report it to you now. You know, we have SEVERAL licenses.
Me: I understand. If you want to report it, please attach the file to an email and send it to [our email address] and we will take a look at it.
SC: When will you fix it?
Me: We will take a look and verify that there is an error. If there is, then we will update our software and the correction will be in a future release. [I always include that first bit because sometimes the error lies not in the software, but in the user.]
SC: Fine. Just give me the email address.
Me: It's [our email address].
SC: I'm going to send it, but don't write back to me at it. I don't read emails.
Gee. I never, EVER, would have guessed that.
So I got the email. There was an error in our program's output. It was mainly because our software didn't know how to correctly process some weird educator speak made up word. Luckily we can tweak things and fix it.
But I can't tell him that because he specifically TOLD me not to email him back.
I'm not a total bastard. I put a note in their several license records to pass along the information if they happen to call us again.
Bonus Coin Shop Roundup:
First Story:
I know that many gas station clerks on here get unfairly accused of being responsible for gas prices. Mr. Dips' co-worker, Cathy, owes all of you an apology...
Cathy was helping a regular customer who was in the store buying coins. Cathy is friendly and likes to make small talk with customers. So after mentioning the nice weather she raised the topic of gas prices, something like this:
"Wow can you believe how much they're charging for gas these days? Coming to work is costing me a fortune!"
The customer replied something like this:
"Don't say that! Every time you complain about gas prices, they go up!"
Cathy though he was making a silly joke and, being a nice lady, laughed at the silly joke so he wouldn't be embarassed.
Only he wasn't kidding. He really thought her remarks were raising the prices and told her so. Very sternly.
After the man left Cathy complained about gas prices a few more times just to amuse herself. She's drunk with her newfound power and we all hope she comes to her senses before bringing the US economy to its knees.
Second Story:
Mr. Dips' boss has a deal with a few long-standing customers. He is willing to take orders over the phone for gold, he gives them a price quote, orders the gold and the customer can come in later and purchase the gold at the quoted price.
This is considered a contract and only offered to customers the boss knows and trusts. Even if the price of gold doubles between the time the customer placed the order and the time he picks it up, the boss will stick to that quoted price.
And if the price drops the customer still has to pay the quoted price. This is completely understood by all parties and the way this SC did business for years.
So the SC called up and ordered $40,000 worth of gold. The boss placed the order for $40,000.
The next day the SC called up and tried to BACK OUT of paying for what he ordered because the price of gold had gone down.
The boss told the SC that he was SOL and would need to come in and pay for what he ordered. The SC refused.
So the boss filed a lawsuit against the SC. Updates as they happen, but I'm guessing the boss won't win since the burden of proof is on the plaintiff.
The SC really hurt himself there. There are not a lot of precious metal dealers who will order gold, even for their very best long-standing customers, without getting full payment up front. If you have a good honest relationship going with someone like Mr. Dips' boss, don't screw it up.
SC: Your program has an error in the [output]!
Me: OK. Just send us the [output] file with the error in it and we'll take a look at it. Also give us a note letting us know what we are looking for and where to look if it's a long file.
SC: Why can't I just tell you?
Me: Because we need to see the actual error. A verbal description is too ambiguous to interpret.
SC: I don't understand. It will take LONGER to do this by email. [If you substitute the words "EFFORT! On my part!" for the word "LONGER" in that sentence, you'll get what he really meant.]
Me: That's how we process error reports. A verbal description is pretty much useless to us for fixing these things.
SC: I don't know why you can't just write it down. Nobody wants to do anything.
Me: You certainly don't have to report the error if you don't wish to. [Pot, meet kettle.]
SC: I'm trying to report it to you now. You know, we have SEVERAL licenses.
Me: I understand. If you want to report it, please attach the file to an email and send it to [our email address] and we will take a look at it.
SC: When will you fix it?
Me: We will take a look and verify that there is an error. If there is, then we will update our software and the correction will be in a future release. [I always include that first bit because sometimes the error lies not in the software, but in the user.]
SC: Fine. Just give me the email address.
Me: It's [our email address].
SC: I'm going to send it, but don't write back to me at it. I don't read emails.
Gee. I never, EVER, would have guessed that.
So I got the email. There was an error in our program's output. It was mainly because our software didn't know how to correctly process some weird educator speak made up word. Luckily we can tweak things and fix it.
But I can't tell him that because he specifically TOLD me not to email him back.
I'm not a total bastard. I put a note in their several license records to pass along the information if they happen to call us again.
Bonus Coin Shop Roundup:
First Story:
I know that many gas station clerks on here get unfairly accused of being responsible for gas prices. Mr. Dips' co-worker, Cathy, owes all of you an apology...
Cathy was helping a regular customer who was in the store buying coins. Cathy is friendly and likes to make small talk with customers. So after mentioning the nice weather she raised the topic of gas prices, something like this:
"Wow can you believe how much they're charging for gas these days? Coming to work is costing me a fortune!"
The customer replied something like this:
"Don't say that! Every time you complain about gas prices, they go up!"
Cathy though he was making a silly joke and, being a nice lady, laughed at the silly joke so he wouldn't be embarassed.
Only he wasn't kidding. He really thought her remarks were raising the prices and told her so. Very sternly.
After the man left Cathy complained about gas prices a few more times just to amuse herself. She's drunk with her newfound power and we all hope she comes to her senses before bringing the US economy to its knees.
Second Story:
Mr. Dips' boss has a deal with a few long-standing customers. He is willing to take orders over the phone for gold, he gives them a price quote, orders the gold and the customer can come in later and purchase the gold at the quoted price.
This is considered a contract and only offered to customers the boss knows and trusts. Even if the price of gold doubles between the time the customer placed the order and the time he picks it up, the boss will stick to that quoted price.
And if the price drops the customer still has to pay the quoted price. This is completely understood by all parties and the way this SC did business for years.
So the SC called up and ordered $40,000 worth of gold. The boss placed the order for $40,000.
The next day the SC called up and tried to BACK OUT of paying for what he ordered because the price of gold had gone down.
The boss told the SC that he was SOL and would need to come in and pay for what he ordered. The SC refused.
So the boss filed a lawsuit against the SC. Updates as they happen, but I'm guessing the boss won't win since the burden of proof is on the plaintiff.
The SC really hurt himself there. There are not a lot of precious metal dealers who will order gold, even for their very best long-standing customers, without getting full payment up front. If you have a good honest relationship going with someone like Mr. Dips' boss, don't screw it up.
Come to think of it, since I'm currently in the Gemstone Capital of The World I wonder if I can find a gold seller here (likely not).
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