So, last night in the UK, there was a huge football match playing. We had it on. Great fun. About two hundred extremelly drunk Manchester United fans. Oh happy day.
So, Manchester won. A guy decided to buy a bottle of our (cheapest) champagne to celebrate.
Me: That is £xx.xx please.
He handed me his card. Just as I was about to swipe, our computer decided to crash, so I had to wait for everything to restart.
Me: OK, just so you know sir, our computer has just gone down. It'll be up and running in about five minutes, so if you want to go take a seat, I'll bring your card over to you.
SC: I'm not leaving you with my card!
Me: It'll only be five minutes. If you want to stay here then you're more than welcome.
SC: Give me my card back.
Me: I'll give you it back when the system is up and running.
I pointed to what was coming up on my register.
Me: See, the system is down. I'm just waiting for the computer to restart. Once it's done, I'll be able to complete the transaction.
SC: I am NOT leaving you with my card.
Me: Well I'll wait here as well.
SC: You'd bloody well better. I'm watching you.
About a minute passed.
SC: Somethings not right here! Why have you had my card for so long! You're stealing! That's what you've been doing! You've been stealing from my card!
Me: Sir, as you have quite clearly pointed out, you have been watching me. I have not moved an inch in the past minute, how could I possibly be stealing from your card?
SC: You're a thief! You've been stealing!
At this point, the computer started working.
Me: Right, its up and running again.
I put through the transaction.
Me: If you could just sign there for me.
SC: I'm not signing anything! You've been stealing!
Me: Sir, the transaction has already gone through. The money is going to be taken out of your account if you sign this slip or not.
SC: I'm not signing it! You're not having my money.
A co-worker who was having as bad a day as I was having jumped in.
CW: Oh for God's sake! The transaction has gone through. The money has been taken out of your account. It makes no difference if you sign the slip or not.
She took the slip off him, scribbled down a fake signature and stuffed it in the register.
SC: I want my money back.
Me: You're not getting your money back.
SC: I want my money back, for the inconvience.
Me: You're not getting it back.
SC: I'm going to wait around after this place closes, and I'm going to kill you.
Co-worker and me burst out laughing.
SC: I'm going to call the police. This is not on.
Me: Call the police. And tell them you're going to kill me as well. I'm sure they'd love that.
SC: I'm calling the police.
At this point, co-worker and me were laughing in his face. Several customers around him were killing themselves laughing as well.
SC: I want to speak to a manager.
Me: I am a manager.
SC: I want to speak to a manager that is not you.
Me: No. I'm not wasting their time on you.
SC: I just paid £xx.xx for this champagne! And you've been stealing from me! So God knows how much money I've lost. I want my money back.
Me: You also threatened to kill me.
SC: You had my card! Why wouldn't you give me my card back!
Me: Because the transaction hadn't gone through! If I gave you your card back, you could have left the building or anything without paying for the champagne.
SC: So you're saying you think I'm a thief.
Me: Well you seem to enjoy calling me one.
SC: I'm calling the police.
At this point, a friend appeared.
Friend: What the fuck are you doing?
SC: He has been stealing from me!
I give his friend the run down of the situation.
Friend: *to SC* Right, come on you idiot. Bring the champagne over.
SC: Fine.
The SC threw the pen he was holding at my face.
Me: OK, that's it.
I took the champagne out the bucket and put it back in the fridge.
Me: Get the fuck out.
SC: You can't do that! I'm calling the police!
Friend: No you're not. We're leaving before he gets the police on you.
SC: You'd better hope I'm not outside when you leave here!
The friend dragged him away. The friend returned about ten minutes later, shook my hand, apologized and gave me a tip.
Co-worker and me drank the champagne when we closed
So, Manchester won. A guy decided to buy a bottle of our (cheapest) champagne to celebrate.
Me: That is £xx.xx please.
He handed me his card. Just as I was about to swipe, our computer decided to crash, so I had to wait for everything to restart.
Me: OK, just so you know sir, our computer has just gone down. It'll be up and running in about five minutes, so if you want to go take a seat, I'll bring your card over to you.
SC: I'm not leaving you with my card!
Me: It'll only be five minutes. If you want to stay here then you're more than welcome.
SC: Give me my card back.
Me: I'll give you it back when the system is up and running.
I pointed to what was coming up on my register.
Me: See, the system is down. I'm just waiting for the computer to restart. Once it's done, I'll be able to complete the transaction.
SC: I am NOT leaving you with my card.
Me: Well I'll wait here as well.
SC: You'd bloody well better. I'm watching you.
About a minute passed.
SC: Somethings not right here! Why have you had my card for so long! You're stealing! That's what you've been doing! You've been stealing from my card!
Me: Sir, as you have quite clearly pointed out, you have been watching me. I have not moved an inch in the past minute, how could I possibly be stealing from your card?
SC: You're a thief! You've been stealing!
At this point, the computer started working.
Me: Right, its up and running again.
I put through the transaction.
Me: If you could just sign there for me.
SC: I'm not signing anything! You've been stealing!
Me: Sir, the transaction has already gone through. The money is going to be taken out of your account if you sign this slip or not.
SC: I'm not signing it! You're not having my money.
A co-worker who was having as bad a day as I was having jumped in.
CW: Oh for God's sake! The transaction has gone through. The money has been taken out of your account. It makes no difference if you sign the slip or not.
She took the slip off him, scribbled down a fake signature and stuffed it in the register.
SC: I want my money back.
Me: You're not getting your money back.
SC: I want my money back, for the inconvience.
Me: You're not getting it back.
SC: I'm going to wait around after this place closes, and I'm going to kill you.
Co-worker and me burst out laughing.
SC: I'm going to call the police. This is not on.
Me: Call the police. And tell them you're going to kill me as well. I'm sure they'd love that.
SC: I'm calling the police.
At this point, co-worker and me were laughing in his face. Several customers around him were killing themselves laughing as well.
SC: I want to speak to a manager.
Me: I am a manager.
SC: I want to speak to a manager that is not you.
Me: No. I'm not wasting their time on you.
SC: I just paid £xx.xx for this champagne! And you've been stealing from me! So God knows how much money I've lost. I want my money back.
Me: You also threatened to kill me.
SC: You had my card! Why wouldn't you give me my card back!
Me: Because the transaction hadn't gone through! If I gave you your card back, you could have left the building or anything without paying for the champagne.
SC: So you're saying you think I'm a thief.
Me: Well you seem to enjoy calling me one.
SC: I'm calling the police.
At this point, a friend appeared.
Friend: What the fuck are you doing?
SC: He has been stealing from me!
I give his friend the run down of the situation.
Friend: *to SC* Right, come on you idiot. Bring the champagne over.
SC: Fine.
The SC threw the pen he was holding at my face.
Me: OK, that's it.
I took the champagne out the bucket and put it back in the fridge.
Me: Get the fuck out.
SC: You can't do that! I'm calling the police!
Friend: No you're not. We're leaving before he gets the police on you.
SC: You'd better hope I'm not outside when you leave here!
The friend dragged him away. The friend returned about ten minutes later, shook my hand, apologized and gave me a tip.
Co-worker and me drank the champagne when we closed

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