my first religious nuts

[AKWalMartCartGuy]

had someone come up looking for a coworker, who had been working a different shift from me, so I hadn't met him yet, and he wasn't there, then they started asking weird questions, "is this your first job" "how old are you", but what are they going to do with that information? so i told them, then the religious shit

OW: old woman
YW:young woman
me:

OW:do you have a church you go to?
me:my parents do(doesn't that hint that religion has already been presented to me, and I don't agree with it?)
OW:why not?
me:*politely, but I guess I'm a little blunt*because I don't believe in God
OW:well, blah blah blah, I wasn't really listening
me:*politely*I really don't want to talk about that right now
OW: ok
YW:keeps talking, I wasn't listening
me:*firmly*I said I don't want to talk about that, I have to get back to work *walks away*


how many times can you hint that you don't want to hear it, then say straight up that you don't want to talk about it, before they give up? that question is like "how many licks does it take to get to the middle of a tootsie pop", I don't have time to find out

[Samaliel]

Sadly, the fastest way to get them to move on, they will find offensive, like saying you worship Satan, or that you don't care about their zombie-god on a stick. Which could get you into trouble with your manager.

[edible_hat]

Sadly, the fastest way to get them to move on, they will find offensive, like saying you worship Satan

Even more offensive: tell them you're Catholic. For some reason Catholics seem to be considered worse than Satanists to the extreme must-covert-everyone crowd.

[Ree]

Oh yay...another 'religious nut' thread. These things generally end up with a mod warning, so I will head it off before that happens.

As always, stick to the topic of people pushing religion on you in the workplace and refrain from any comments on the character of the people, the hypocrisy of Christians, the validity of any particular religion, or any other off topic areas one may be tempted to stray.

[AKWalMartCartGuy]

I don't want to give them anything to tell my manager, but I may use the satan worshipper or catholic lines. if I wanted to get in trouble I would have made perverted comments, like asking how committed to their cause they were in a pervy tone, while looking them up and down and seeing where that went

[friendofjimmyk]

, like asking how committed to their cause they were in a pervy tone, while looking them up and down and seeing where that went

Uh...be careful what you wish for! Just kidding.

I just had this mental image of someone who was REALLY committed to their cause giving you a go in the name of the Lord!

[Jacen]

like saying you worship Satan, .

But I DO worship Satan!

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Okay, no I don't but I just felt like saying that

[Crazeyal]

But I DO worship Satan!

Geez.. groupies..

[Bramblerose]

how many times can you hint that you don't want to hear it, then say straight up that you don't want to talk about it, before they give up? that question is like "how many licks does it take to get to the middle of a tootsie pop", I don't have time to find out

I always go with "I'm happy with my religion." Right now I am lying in wait for my next "Are you saved? Much as I like teh save point answer someone here uses, I am ready with "Yes. 33 AD" and see if they get it.

[friendofjimmyk]

I am ready with "Yes. 33 AD" and see if they get it.

I don't get it.

[Samaliel]

I get the obvious referrence to the year in which Jesus-Christ is assumed to have died, but I don't get how this is a syntactically appropriate answer to the question "Are you saved ?". Obviously, I don't speak English as well as I would like to think I do...

[Raieth]

I always go with "I'm happy with my religion." Right now I am lying in wait for my next "Are you saved? Much as I like teh save point answer someone here uses, I am ready with "Yes. 33 AD" and see if they get it.

Man I love Chrono Trigger.

[Snowbird]

I think I've mentioned this response before in a similar thread but as I believe it still holds weight, here it goes. If someone begins to pester you with questions of a religious nature, whichever that religion might be, simply reply:

"I'm sorry but I am not permitted to discuss this topic while working. Is there anything else about your purchase that I can help you with?"

It's polite, it's non-confrontational and if it doesn't stop them in their tracks, it can be -peat and repeated until they figure it out or you see a customer that Does need help and can rightfully excuse yourself.

I used to work for a religious store and I still had to use this phrase. It works.

[BaristaTrav]

Even more offensive: tell them you're Catholic. For some reason Catholics seem to be considered worse than Satanists to the extreme must-covert-everyone crowd.

so spoketh the Reverand Hagee (and John McCain's good buddy until last week)..

[marasbaras]

Religium Nuttius: Part of the Veritas Absolutus (commonly known as the Knows The Truth SC) family of SCs. Very similar to other truth-knowing SCs except that instead of knowing that this item is on sale this week and not next ... Religium Nuttius knows the truth about the Universe and the Spirit Realm.

Religium Nuttius comes in many wide-ranging sub-families. Each sub-family claims special knowledge of and access to The Truth. Some use different vocabularies than others about The Truth.

Religium Nuttius differs from the average Veritas Absolutus in that they are usually actually concerned about your Immortal Soul. They Know you have one and want to make sure that you take care of it according to the wishes of their sub-family.

Defense

Often one can escape the clutches of Religium Nuttius by claiming you have sold or contracted out your Immortal Soul to less-than-desirable extra-planar beings. It helps if you wear items which depect said extra-planar beings or at least pierce yourself in uncomfortable and prominent locations.

Should the implication that you have willingly given up your Immortal Soul to rather unpleasant beings not work, you can escalate your defese to say that you actively and willing work for and pay homage to one most devious being. If you do not believe in extra-planar beings, just think about your immediate supervisor while speaking. In 99% of cases studied, immediate supervisors have been found to be excellent stand-ins for soul-contracting beings from another realm.

Religium Nuttius are immune to any claim that you do not have an Immortal Soul for they Know that you do.

Warning

Whatever you do, do not give personal information to Religium Nuttius. Unlike other members of Veritas Absolutus, they are concerned about you and your Immortal Soul and not about a deal you can make for them based upon The Truth which They Know. Religium Nuttius may try to contact you away from work in an attempt to care for your Immortal Soul. Should they have your personal information, you are not safe from them once they are checked out and driving away (as you are with most other Veritas Absolutus).