Aunty Em! Aunty Em! It's a Twister! It's a Twister!

[Princess-Snake]

So, last night the weather got really rough. We had rain, hail, severe thunderstorms, tornado watches, tornado warnings (not sure if one actually hit), so any logical person would, that's right, they would go grocery shopping to get supplies for the upcoming apocalypse. Then halfway through all the weather mayhem, the electricity went out. Oh. Dear. God. Chaos ensues. The lights are out, the registers and computers are out, the electric doors are out, employees are about to snap. Anyways, on to the stories.

Toto, I Don't Think We're In Kansas Anymore
This one woman is shopping while I'm restocking the battery shelf. (Amazing how fast all of the batteries disappear during an upcoming storm.) She sees me and demands to know what I'm doing with the canned beans. Excuse me? She said that she was in an aisle with canned beans. Her back is to the beans as she grabs a can of peas. A minute later, she turns around and the beans are gone and in their place is canned corn. Or so she says. I have no idea what she was talking about nor did anyone else in the store. She eventually left in a huff without her groceries. Fine go home. That's where you're supposed to be during a sever storm anyway.

If I Only Had A Brain
One guy comes into my line. I can't remember what the exact items cost, so I'll estimate. One item was $5. Another was $7. And the last one was $10. So together they all cost $22 plus tax. I tell him his total. He tells me I'm wrong and that they should actually cost $10 plus tax. He proceeded to count off the totals of each item on his fingers and through some complicated math of his own invention that I'm not even going to bother posting here came up with $10. I had a pocket calculator with me and asked him to add up all the totals. It came up to $22. He did it three times before he accepted the answer.

If I Only Had A Heart
This is about twenty minutes after the electricity went out. The registers are down and most people understand. Except this guy. He demands to know why I can't ring him up right then and there. He still doesn't understand after the manager explained it to him about five times! Then the guy shouts to both of us, "I hope you both get struck by lightning and die!" He then walks out. (The manager and a couple of other employees managed to force the doors open to let customers out.)

If I Only Had The Nerve
Another customer had a complaint about the registers going down. He demanded the manager and threatened to give him a piece of his mind. Then he actually saw the manager. He's around 6'5" or 6'6", about 270 pounds, with biceps that make girls just swoon. The customer is 5'6" at the tallest with stick arms, and weighs 120 pounds at the most. When he saw my manager he mumbled a feeble apology and just bolted out the door with the manager, having no idea what the fuss was about in the first place, going

Are You A Good Witch Or A Bad Witch
A close variation of what this woman said to me. She saw me, walked up to me and asked, "Are you a good employee, or a bad employee?"

I'll Get You My Pretty
One woman asked us if we were having any storm discounts today. Umm...No. She told me that it was such an inconvience for her to drive here in this horrible weather (then why the fuck are you here?) and that she ought to be compensated for it with a discount. When she was again told that there would be no discounts shouted at me, "I'll get those discounts!" and stomped off mumbling, "I'll get those discounts if it's the last thing I do!"

I Am The Great And Powerful Oz
Now we're about 10 minutes after the lights went out and this guy walks up to demand what is going on. I tell him that the storm has cut off the electricity. He says, "But that can't be! I'm a great surgeon! I save lives!" Umm... And this has to do with the lights how exactly?

Thank God the electricity came back on. But by that time, we were closing up the store at the regular time. (We weren't allowed to close early for some completely idiotic reason. Even the manager said it was stupid.) Anyways, how was your night last night?

[BaristaTrav]

Oh how I know your pain. I am here in the world capital of Hurricane Central. We have been going through this every year for...EVER. Yet, here's always how it goes:

Between June and November,

- a couple of clouds start swirling out in the Caribbean..

- local news people start hyperventilating and doing santeria rituals on the air warning of impending doom

- local hardware stores become swamped (not before hurriane season mind you, only when it looks like an actual storm may hit within hours)

- literal fistfights break out over the last of the generators, batteries, and of course precious lumber

- 95% of the time, storm passes to the north, fizzles out, or hits and is much ado about nothing

Lather, rinse, repeat, every single year...

[Bradester]

Someone crank up Dark Side of the Moon!

Yeesh. I see this too. How is it that people living in Tornado Alley (and many of whom have been living there all their lives) year after year, without fail, react to severe weather as if they've never experienced it before?

This is spring. In the Midwest. Thunderstorms, hail, flash flood warnings, and tornadoes are par for the course. Follow the safety tips you've likely heard ad nauseum since kindergarten and you should be fine.

[Apathy]

That was the best formatting of a post I've ever seen. Excellent work.

In Indiana, winters are the scariest thing around. Every year, when snow is forecast, people flock to the stores like headless chickens to stock up on milk and bread because they might be trapped in their house for weeks.
The longest I was ever trapped in my home due to snow was about two days. Maybe three, but not more. And that's happened... once? Maybe twice.
The other problem is people don't remember how to drive in snow even though it snows every single year. Morons.

[Evil Queen]

*twitches*

[ShadedWings]

I agree with Apathy, beautiful titles for the stories! I never think of something that clever.

[wanderingjoe72]

I feel for you. It is the herd mentality. One sheep spooks and the rest go running with it. You can almost hear them bleating Baa-teries! Baa-teries!

We get silly stuff like that here in AZ. A little rain and people just completely forget how to drive. We got snow last year for a day or two and the city responded by closing all the bridges in town. I got to work 3 hours late that day.

[auntiem]

*rubs sleep from eyes* You called?

Actually, it gets like this every. single. winter. It snows once maybe twice a year and those that can drive are buying everything on the shelves at the grocery store. We lost power 7 times last year - sometimes for days, so we are fully stocked all the time now - and have one of those nifty SwissArmy radio / flashlight /cellphone charger thingys that uses batteries or you can crank it up.

I don't understand why you couldn't close when the power went out.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Around here winters are the bigger concern. People go nuts buying bread and water and TP when the weather forecast calls for a couple inches of snow.

That being said, there was the Uber-Thunderstorm of 2001 that packed 100-mph winds, possibly a couple tornadoes, flooding rain, and hail that was at least softball-sized.

My supervisor worked out in lawn and garden at the time and she told me they had just finished unloading a truck out there when the sky turned pitch black (this was around noon). I had to work later that afternoon, and when I pulled into the parking lot it was covered in leaves and plant parts. Virtually all our inventory in lawn and garden was lost, and there were holes from hail in the tent and the greenhouse to boot.

[AdminAssistant]

A few months ago, a big storm came ambling through Kansas, headed toward KCMO, got to the Missouri River, and went north. As has happened countless times since I've moved here (those poor people in St. Joe). Anyway, my roommate (from San Francisco) says, "What's that sound?"
Me: "That would be a tornado siren."
Roomie: "Um, should we go to the basement?"
Me: "Nah"

This was followed by an explanation of wall clouds, green skies, and how there is truly no way to fully predict if one of those little devils is going to come cycling down from the sky. Just keep the TV on the weather and keep an eye on the sky. All you can do.

But seriously, talking about tornadoes in the Midwest is like griping about it being hot in summer. It's SUMMER. It's supposed to be hot. Sheesh.

[Soulstealer]

If I Only Had A Brain
One guy comes into my line. I can't remember what the exact items cost, so I'll estimate. One item was $5. Another was $7. And the last one was $10. So together they all cost $22 plus tax. I tell him his total. He tells me I'm wrong and that they should actually cost $10 plus tax. He proceeded to count off the totals of each item on his fingers and through some complicated math of his own invention that I'm not even going to bother posting here came up with $10.

It's Quantum, I'd explain it but I'll need a physist and a Jagermiester.

Are You A Good Witch Or A Bad Witch
A close variation of what this woman said to me. She saw me, walked up to me and asked, "Are you a good employee, or a bad employee?"

Well I stuff customers who annoy me in the freezer so.... good? What? It's right next to the ice cream.

[tropicsgoddess]

Oh how I know your pain. I am here in the world capital of Hurricane Central.

---- <SNIP! > -------


Lather, rinse, repeat, every single year...

You're not the only one here, BT. I hate hurricane season.

[Titi]

That was the best formatting of a post I've ever seen. Excellent work.


The other problem is people don't remember how to drive in snow even though it snows every single year. Morons.

My friend had an answer to snow situation. I was living in NY at the time and we got snow every winter too, and I wondered to my friend about how people still couldn't know how to drive in it. He told me this, "These people take the buses and trains to commute to city (NYC) most of the time only driving when necessary to go to the store or soccer game and then only when it's not raining too hard. When it snows it's also informs people that it is cold so people take out their seldom used SUVs and decide to drive themselves so that they won't have to wait in the cold."

You know what it is true. We had a commuter bus that had a stop in our development right where my son's school bus stop was. Normally it had anywhere between 6 to 10 people getting on at the stop. (even when it was cold, not snowing but cold.) On days when it was snowing (not even a delay at the schools ) 0.

How did they get to work then? Must've driven.

[sms001]

Hilarious post Princess Snake - glad you weathered everything ok.
But if I still have Stephen Stucker running around in my head shouting "Auntie Em, Uncle Henry, Toto! It's a twister! It's a twister!" in an hour, I'm comin' back on line ta getcha!

[smoorman76]

I live in a fairly small town in the midwest, and the people here generally aren't too bad. Most of the time, they act with a minimum amount of brains, at least. Although, I've noticed this last year people taking weather warnings a little more seriously than before. We're less than eighty miles from Greensberg and people are still freaked out about that.

There was one time that my Mom and I drove to the store in what we found out later was a blizzard. We were out of TP, and something else, I forget. But most people are smarter than that.