Unusual Questions

[Nyx]

Just some of my favorites from working in the craft store.

(SC in these cases may well mean silly customer as many were polite, just ill informed)

Me = (duh )
thoughts in itallic

we are not a post office

For some reason we get requests for a lot of office supplies. Things like boxes, envelopes, lots of requests for stationary and address labels. But I wasn't expecting it when an elderly man came in and asked for stamps. Being an arts and crafts store my first thought was rubber stamps, so I directed him there. He came back and said there were none.

Me: WTF? there's a whole wall full!

So I asked someone to show him for me since I couldn't leave my register. She came back and explained that he wanted postage stamps. Oooooooooh...still

we are not target

A boy about 11 or 13 runs to the front of my line and asks

B: Where's your ATM?
Me: We don't have an ATM
B: What the F#^k? This isn't Target?

He looks around and runs out the door cursing. I stood there confused for a moment but my whole line bust out laughing.

we are not a department store

I was minding my own business when a man comes up and asks

M: Do you sell vacuum cleaners?
Me: Noooooo...
M: begins talking to his wife, both look confused and look around to make sure I'm not lying I guess, and leave.

do you have to ask?

A lady at checkout turns to me as if she just realized she forgot something and asks

L: Oh, do you sell art supplies?

no, only squares

Lady: Do you sell anything round?
Me: (I looked at her for a second in the hopes she may elaborate, but alas) How do you mean?
L: I just need something round. My daughter's doing a school project.

After a bit I learn from her that she needs to make a pie chart and suggest the foam circles.

I wouldn't try it

There are some aisles I dislike working in as I don't have all the knowledge of all the items. But I can usually find the answer, I didn't know what to say to this one.

Lady: Hi, about these inks (ink pads for stamping), do you know if you could eat the ink?
Me: You, uh, wanna eat the ink?
L: Well I'm making something that needs edible inks for decorating it. But they're to expensive, this is a better price. It says "non-toxic" on it, so would it be safe?
Me: Uhhhhh, I... wouldn't recommend it....

[GingerBiscuit]

People seem to get confused between a health, vitamins and sports nutrition shop and a chemist and ask us if we sell:

• Painkillers
• Antihistamines
• Whatever their prescription is, and can we fill it
• Tights
• Various drugs that only chemists are legally allowed to sell

and some fairly random ones...

• Shoes (didn't this used to be a shoe shop?)
• Hair-brushes
• Curlers
• Underwear
• Walking sticks

When they are told either 'I'm sorry, but you'll have to go to a chemist for that. We're not a chemist' or 'I'm sorry. we don't hold that sort of line.' They frequently get angry and blame us for the fact that we, uh, don't sell that.

[marasbaras]

Edible inks and dyes are expensive because they don't ruin the flavor of your food. Moron lady!

[Bright_Star]

Because it says "non-toxic" on it doesn't mean that you can eat it & not suffer ill effects from it. Yeah, soap is non-toxic too but if you eat it, your stomach is likely to say "Hell No!!" & make you hurl...lol.

[jerkface11]

Even if it didn't make you sick it probably wouldn't taste good.

[Soulstealer]

Because it says "non-toxic" on it doesn't mean that you can eat it & not suffer ill effects from it. Yeah, soap is non-toxic too but if you eat it, your stomach is likely to say "Hell No!!" & make you hurl.

I once got chocolate from an airline kids meal that tasted like soap. Sadly that was an imporovement over most of the other airlines' foods.

No I don't know why I knew that was soap flavour. I assume I swallowed bath water when I was younger. Don't look at me like that.

[Evil Queen]

It's from all those times your Mom washed your mouth out with soap for using foul language.

[edible_hat]

I once got chocolate from an airline kids meal that tasted like soap. Sadly that was an imporovement over most of the other airlines' foods.

I have a friend who once ate some honey soap. To see if it really tasted like honey. It did, but it tasted like soap too.

[simplyanother]

"Do you see art supplies?"

"no, the arts part of the name of the store is just there to confuse you."

I hate it when customers ask me shit like the "ooh can I eat the non edible ink?"
I'm not allowed to say "fuck if I know"

[Leopardmadcat]

L: Well I'm making something that needs edible inks for decorating it. But they're to expensive, this is a better price. It says "non-toxic" on it, so would it be safe?

Don't you hate when the customer places you between them and their long overdue appointment with the Grim Reaper? Temptations temptations...

"Why yes Mame, in fact the more the merrier! This will actually De-toxify you! And feel free to follow it up with a big ol' jug of Draino!"

[kiokushitaka]

When I used to work in Pier1 we had a lot of people get pissy when we didn't have the kind of stuff they were looking for. I always loved it when people complained, "well I can get this for cheaper at target!" and I just wanted to yell back, "SO GO GET IT AT TARGET!"

[repsac]

The talk about non toxic reminded me of this. Just a funny little anecdote of mine.


When I graduated High School, my mother threw this big party. A number of family friends came over, my girlfriend, her parents, and siblings, and some guys who my father was very close with at work. Now since there were at least a dozen people there, mom and dad decided to have a kind of buffet serve yourself dinner. Everything was laid out on the counter tops with food at regular intervals.

During one round, I watched this one guy (who I'll call R) look at something on his plate and make a funny face. Turning to K, the guy next to him, he asked something about it and then shrugged before poking it and taking a bite. I swear, R gagged visibly before looking to my mother. "Miss J" he said meekly. "I think the trifle is bad."

My mother looked at him and blinked. "Trifle? What trifle?"

R looked back at her, poking his plate "you know, the berry trifle in the tiny crock pot."

Looking at him she laughed it off. "R, you nut. You know that's not Trifle. That's my potpourri pot!" It wasn't until the look on his face that she realized what had happened.

R, thinking the potpourri was food (and not willing to ask anyone else) had gotten him a bit of it on his plate and was trying his darnedest to eat it. He didn't want to offend mom, but didn't want to look stupid asking about the food.

[Jester]

I had kind of an odd request from a table the other day. They had ordered buffalo wings....and asked if they could have gloves.

Yes, gloves.

I brought them more napkins and tried not to laugh my ass off.

[Jester]

He didn't want to offend mom, but didn't want to look stupid asking about the food.

In his second endeavor, he failed rather miserably!

[katie kaboom]

R, thinking the potpourri was food (and not willing to ask anyone else) had gotten him a bit of it on his plate and was trying his darnedest to eat it.

Please tell R he broke my brain. And i'm pretty sure i needed that brain