Tales of Night Cashiering

[Musical Mind]

So, I've been working at this grocery store for a few weeks now. I generally work nights on Friday and Saturday, so I tend to get some of the fun crazies. Fun being...well, a flexible word.

While I was training, I had a few fun customers interested in buying products that were probably intended for a little mischief making.
A couple came in, both a little hyper, holding coffee cups and ask me where the nearest fountain is.
Me: The nearest fountain? (I was assuming they meant a water fountain, like to drink out of, but they were really interested in a big fountain...like the kind you see in front of really big or important buildings or sometimes neighborhoods)
So, the girl I was training with gave them directions and what did they buy? Dishwashing detergent. The sort of thing you'd...oh, I don't know, pour into a fountain to make lots of pretty bubbles?
Girl: Too bad you're not coming with us. We're going to have lots of fun tonight!
I was highly tempted to check and see if there was any small, local news about a neighborhood fountain getting bubbled.
(Maybe not quite sucky. More funny, really...)

A group of teenage boys came up, bearing quite the assortment of goods. Two dozen plus eggs, some vaseline, and a big thing of (opened and, thus, damaged) toilet paper among other things.
So, the girl training me pulls me aside, informing me that I can't sell this to them. Apparently, if they use these items to TP someone's house or do some other horrible, nasty thing, our store is liable. I've never heard this before, but, okay...
Me: I'm sorry, sir, but I can't sell this to you.
Guy 1: What? Why not.
Me: I just can't sell this to you. I'm sorry.
Guy 1: Oh, what, you have to be 18 to buy toilet paper now?
They proceed to make cracks about how they were looking forward to their omelettes and how one reeeaallly needed the toilet paper for his "itchy butt." They protested on the grounds that they hadn't even come in together.
Finally, some of my older and more experienced coworkers came and saved me. (By this point, my naivete was dying a painful death as their stories changed and their thinly veiled immaturity began to bleed through. ) They argued quite deftly with the group.
CW 1: Well, we can't sell this to you, because who's to say you're not going to go and toilet paper someone's house?
Guy 2: Uhh... because we're not 12? (For the record, they did look around 16 or 17)
Eventually, they left, talking about how their business wasn't appreciated here and they'd go somewhere else, whooping and shouting.

This was from the day I got to work the day shift. Oh, how I hate the day shift. I hate it a lot, really.
A guy has quite a few coupons that are not ringing up properly. I must note, however, that most of them DO ring up properly.
Me: Umm... This one's not ringing up properly. Are you sure you got the right item? (At this point, a loud groan and "COME ON!" sounds from the impatient woman behind him who, ironically, turned out to be very sweet when I rung her up.)
Guy: (pulls it out for me to check and, lo and behold, it isn't the right item!)
Me: Well, actually it has to be XX instead of XX
Guy: Oh. Okay.
Woman: See, that's why I never use coupons. They never honor them.
At this point, I get rather angry. Yes, sometimes the coupons decide to be bratty and not work right, but if they SHOULD work, then I will make sure that they do. I'll pull over a supervisor for an override card to save you your money if you're supposed to. However, if the coupon is for a different product, I'm going to gently inform you and give it back. I have a whole big thing full of used coupons to prove to you that, yes, we DO honor our coupons. So, here, why don't you come back at ohhh say midnight on Friday and watch me collect each and every accepted coupon for the enrichment of both of our lives, mmkay honey?

And the final little story is from tonight. It's quite an intriguing little gem, too.
So, I'm ringing up a couple of guys when someone walks in and comes up to my register.
Woman: That guy over there (indicates a teenage boy a little ways behind her) was just outside peeing on the wall.
Me: ...Umm... Okay. I'll...call someone. (At this point, my brain is a little shocked and fried. I mean...what the crap, dude? There's a bathroom inside. I mean, were you drunk? Did the voices in your little brain inform you that you could save some money by marking the store as your territory? Or did a half-drunk monkey having a seizure perform a two-minute, half-priced lobotomy while you were driving over here?)
In the end, nothing was really done about it. I informed my manager, so I did what I was supposed to, but still...

Oh! I almost forgot a little short, interesting tale.
Me: (ringing up this guy's small amount of groceries)
Guy: (proudly) I'm from San Francisco.
Me: ...Okay.
Guy: It's not every day you meet someone from San Francisco.
Me: That's certainly true.
Guy: Okay, then... Bye.
I mean, okay, what did you expect me to say, "Oh my GOD, you're from San Francisco?! REALLY?! That is sooo hot! Let me go to the back room, take off all my clothes and wait for you to come join me, you sexy, sexy man!"? Or maybe he was hoping I'd issue him the special San Franciscoer discount. You know, the special one we keep under wraps unless you say "San Francisco" three times. Sorry, sweetie, you were just one short.

[jerkface11]

Oh! I almost forgot a little short, interesting tale.
Me: (ringing up this guy's small amount of groceries)
Guy: (proudly) I'm from San Francisco.
Me: ...Okay.
Guy: It's not every day you meet someone from San Francisco.
Me: That's certainly true.
Guy: Okay, then... Bye.
I mean, okay, what did you expect me to say, "Oh my GOD, you're from San Francisco?! REALLY?! That is sooo hot! Let me go to the back room, take off all my clothes and wait for you to come join me, you sexy, sexy man!"? Or maybe he was hoping I'd issue him the special San Franciscoer discount. You know, the special one we keep under wraps unless you say "San Francisco" three times. Sorry, sweetie, you were just one short.

This man was obviously a spy/terrorist who thought you were his contact.

[Samaliel]

Did the guy from San Francisco have some flowers in his hair ?

[simplyanother]

Did the guy from San Francisco have some flowers in his hair ?

Duh! You only need flowers if you're GOING TO San Francisco, and he'd left..so no flowers.

[Madhatter_67_85]

I would have had to say "DAG, that must have been a hell of a commute. Didn't realize we had such a great reputation that someone would drive all the way from SAN FRANCISCO just to shop here!"

[wagegoth]

I would have had to say "DAG, that must have been a hell of a commute. Didn't realize we had such a great reputation that someone would drive all the way from SAN FRANCISCO just to shop here!"

No, it's the housing prices. It's cheaper to buy a house in Georgia, then fly to SF every week, crash at the office, then fly back, than to buy a house here.

[BlaqueKatt]

I would've asked if he found any hearts lately

[Mark Healey]

Guy: (proudly) I'm from San Francisco.

Didn't you know San Francisco is "The City"? Yes, they actually refer to it that way. Nowhere else in the U.S. will you find a bigger collection of smug intollerant yuppies.

When I'm king of the Californias I'll be deporting the population of Frisco to MA.

[AdminAssistant]

My roomie is from San Francisco. And boy, do I know it. I DO think it's cool that you got to see the Dalai Lama live and in person, but do we have to talk about it every day?? I saw President Clinton (then Governor Clinton) at a Showbiz Kids in Little Rock when I was 5, but I don't bring that up on a regular basis.

[depechemodefan]

And the final little story is from tonight. It's quite an intriguing little gem, too.
So, I'm ringing up a couple of guys when someone walks in and comes up to my register.
Woman: That guy over there (indicates a teenage boy a little ways behind her) was just outside peeing on the wall.
Me: ...Umm... Okay. I'll...call someone. (At this point, my brain is a little shocked and fried. I mean...what the crap, dude? There's a bathroom inside. I mean, were you drunk? Did the voices in your little brain inform you that you could save some money by marking the store as your territory? Or did a half-drunk monkey having a seizure perform a two-minute, half-priced lobotomy while you were driving over here?)

I remember going on a trip with some people who were from Mexico. We stopped at Popeye's Fried Chicken, and the mom or dad went in to buy chicken. One of the sons get out of the van and instead of one parent (or the older brother) taking him to the bathroom, they take him to a shrub that they parked next to. Yes, he peed under the shrub. And these were well-educated people, who didn't live in el campo ("the sticks" is a close translation) so I thought that was just....ugh.

So, the girl training me pulls me aside, informing me that I can't sell this to them. Apparently, if they use these items to TP someone's house or do some other horrible, nasty thing, our store is liable. I've never heard this before, but, okay...

Huh, that sounds harsh. And how would anyone know the supplies came from your store, unless the kids got caught (or else leave the receipts on the sidewalk).

[Pagan]

I saw President Clinton (then Governor Clinton) at a Showbiz Kids in Little Rock when I was 5, but I don't bring that up on a regular basis.

Well, hell, I had the gov of NM (Carruthers) at my high school graduation in 1987! Of course, the fact that his son was in my graduating class might have had something to do with it....>.>

[Musical Mind]

I would have had to say "DAG, that must have been a hell of a commute. Didn't realize we had such a great reputation that someone would drive all the way from SAN FRANCISCO just to shop here!"

Ha! I should have said that! I think I was just too confused to come up with any snarky replies.

[wagegoth]

I work in Silicon Valley. A lot of attorneys who come to work at our firm from outside the Bay Area have this idea about San Francisco and they decide they HAVE to live there. Then they have a long commute down here every day; they don't get to enjoy what the City does have to offer (yes, we call it the City, mostly 'cause it's shorter than saying San Francisco everytime; a lot of the time you'll note that I write or say SF instead), and, frankly, SF ain't what it used to be -- but then, what is? I used to like Berkeley, but I avoid it now, too.

I've never run into a celebrity in SF. The tech biggies are down here. Steve Jobs had lunch down the street a few months ago at Francis Ford Coppola's restaurant/wine shop. Larry Ellison was deposed at my previous firm. I used to have John Chambers' home phone and fax number -- really nice, personable man, by the way. These people are a lot more interesting to me than the socialites up in SF.

I'm old enough to remember the skyline of SF when Coit Tower was the tallest building there. That's the San Francisco that was nicknamed "The City."

[Mark Healey]

I work in Silicon Valley. A lot of attorneys who come to work at our firm from outside the Bay Area have this idea about San Francisco and they decide they HAVE to live there. Then they have a long commute down here every day; they don't get to enjoy what the City does have to offer (yes, we call it the City, mostly 'cause it's shorter than saying San Francisco everytime; a lot of the time you'll note that I write or say SF instead), and, frankly, SF ain't what it used to be -- but then, what is? I used to like Berkeley, but I avoid it now, too.

I've never run into a celebrity in SF. The tech biggies are down here. Steve Jobs had lunch down the street a few months ago at Francis Ford Coppola's restaurant/wine shop. Larry Ellison was deposed at my previous firm. I used to have John Chambers' home phone and fax number -- really nice, personable man, by the way. These people are a lot more interesting to me than the socialites up in SF.

I'm old enough to remember the skyline of SF when Coit Tower was the tallest building there. That's the San Francisco that was nicknamed "The City."

I grew up in San Jose. Of course when my family moved there (in the 60's) there were still canneries thare. The tech thing was just getting started. The house my parents bought cost three times my dad's first just out of college job annual pay.

The interresting thing is that when they were starting to build BART, Norman Mineta was the mayor of San Jose and he fought to keep it out, fearing that San Jose would be just a bedroom for San Francisco. Guess he was right.

One last thing. The way to shorten it is "Frisco". It really bugs them.

[wagegoth]

I don't shorten it to Frisco because I don't want to piss them off. I actually still like a lot of things about SF. Besides, I just don't like the way Frisco sounds. It grates on my nerves.

BART is projected to go into San Jose. That's one of the next moves. It will go to the downtown terminal where Amtrak and the Light Rail go. I'm still waiting for it to circle the Bay. It would make my commute a lot easier.

Unfortunately, San Jose proper has really gone downhill. And they ended up building housing and business parks over all the orchards that used to be down there. The crime rate has gotten really bad downtown. It's making Oakland look good.