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No overarching theme here, just a few random stories of stupidity that I've had to deal with during my years working at the bookstore. So let's just dive right in :
So Glad We Could Help
A guy called up our store, asking about a particular book. He didn't know the title or author's name, but he did know that the book had a blue cover (It's always a blue cover, isn't it?), with a picture of a dragon on it.
Now, it's always annoying when people ask about a specific book and only give you one or two really vague pieces of information to go on to find it. But, in this case, I caught a lucky break : I actually knew the book he was talking about (Eragon, by Christopher Paolini).
So this didn't really annoy me all that much. It was what happened next that got me :
I offered to put a copy of the book on hold for him. And he replied :
"Oh, no, I'm going to get it on Amazon. I just wanted to find out the title of it."
. . . So glad we could help.
Sure, What Do I Know About History?
Okay, long story short : This woman was looking for books for her son's history project. He had to write a long paper on a major figure in U.S. history. However, the person he wrote about could not be any U.S. President. (Not sure why, but apparently those were the teacher's instructions.)
Me : Does your son have a particular person in mind that he wants to write about?
Customer : No, he hasn't made up his mind yet. I was thinking maybe Thomas Jefferson. Where are your books about him?
Me : Ma'am, Thomas Jefferson was President.
Customer : No, he wasn't.
Me : Yes, he was.
Customer : No, he wasn't!
Okaaaay . . . Fine. He wasn't. Thomas Jefferson was not elected the third President of the U.S. in the year 1800. Whatever you say.
I Do Not Know This Phenomenon To Which You Are Referring
It was the middle of November, a few years ago, and we were playing Christmas music, as just about all retail stores seem to do as soon as Halloween ends.
This woman walks up to me and says that it's too early to be playing Christmas music. She went on to say that since it's November, we should be playing Thanksgiving music instead.
. . . "Thanksgiving music"?
What exactly is "Thanksgiving music" . . . ?
Apparently, We're Psychic
In the past couple of weeks, ever since the death of Tim Russert, we have had a lot of people coming into our store, looking to buy the books that he had written. Understandable.
However, prior to Russert's death, those books really weren't very high-selling items. Not at our store, at least. So we only had a small stock of them, which sold out very fast.
It was largely the same story at every other store in our area. And pretty soon, even the warehouses ran out of stock on Russert's books. All we could do at that point was back-order the books from the publisher for the customers.
Most customers understood . . . But, of course, there's always an exception.
This one lady became rather irate when she was told that our stores and warehouses were sold out of Russert's books, and she would have to wait up to three weeks for a publisher back-order.
She started berating the store for not being "prepared" for this. She said that we should have known that Tim Russert's books would be in high demand after his death, and so we should have stocked up on them in advance . . . She was saying that we should have ordered extra copies of Russert's books in the days prior to his death, so that we would be ready.
. . . Do any of you really need me to point out the gaping, glaring flaw in that reasoning?
"Ma'am," I said, quite calmly, "we didn't know that Tim Russert was going to die."
Seemingly by reflex, she immediately opened her mouth to argue . . . but nothing came out. And judging by the rather charming expression on her face, I think that it was at this point that she realized what a monumentally stupid thing she had just said.
She mumbled something that sounded vaguely like an apology, and asked us to back-order the books for her. No problem, we said.
That's it for now, but there will be more coming soon. Sadly, I've accumulated quite a large supply of these stories during my years in retail . . .
So Glad We Could Help
A guy called up our store, asking about a particular book. He didn't know the title or author's name, but he did know that the book had a blue cover (It's always a blue cover, isn't it?), with a picture of a dragon on it.
Now, it's always annoying when people ask about a specific book and only give you one or two really vague pieces of information to go on to find it. But, in this case, I caught a lucky break : I actually knew the book he was talking about (Eragon, by Christopher Paolini).
So this didn't really annoy me all that much. It was what happened next that got me :
I offered to put a copy of the book on hold for him. And he replied :
"Oh, no, I'm going to get it on Amazon. I just wanted to find out the title of it."
. . . So glad we could help.
Sure, What Do I Know About History?
Okay, long story short : This woman was looking for books for her son's history project. He had to write a long paper on a major figure in U.S. history. However, the person he wrote about could not be any U.S. President. (Not sure why, but apparently those were the teacher's instructions.)
Me : Does your son have a particular person in mind that he wants to write about?
Customer : No, he hasn't made up his mind yet. I was thinking maybe Thomas Jefferson. Where are your books about him?
Me : Ma'am, Thomas Jefferson was President.
Customer : No, he wasn't.
Me : Yes, he was.
Customer : No, he wasn't!
Okaaaay . . . Fine. He wasn't. Thomas Jefferson was not elected the third President of the U.S. in the year 1800. Whatever you say.
I Do Not Know This Phenomenon To Which You Are Referring
It was the middle of November, a few years ago, and we were playing Christmas music, as just about all retail stores seem to do as soon as Halloween ends.
This woman walks up to me and says that it's too early to be playing Christmas music. She went on to say that since it's November, we should be playing Thanksgiving music instead.
. . . "Thanksgiving music"?
What exactly is "Thanksgiving music" . . . ?
Apparently, We're Psychic
In the past couple of weeks, ever since the death of Tim Russert, we have had a lot of people coming into our store, looking to buy the books that he had written. Understandable.
However, prior to Russert's death, those books really weren't very high-selling items. Not at our store, at least. So we only had a small stock of them, which sold out very fast.
It was largely the same story at every other store in our area. And pretty soon, even the warehouses ran out of stock on Russert's books. All we could do at that point was back-order the books from the publisher for the customers.
Most customers understood . . . But, of course, there's always an exception.
This one lady became rather irate when she was told that our stores and warehouses were sold out of Russert's books, and she would have to wait up to three weeks for a publisher back-order.
She started berating the store for not being "prepared" for this. She said that we should have known that Tim Russert's books would be in high demand after his death, and so we should have stocked up on them in advance . . . She was saying that we should have ordered extra copies of Russert's books in the days prior to his death, so that we would be ready.
. . . Do any of you really need me to point out the gaping, glaring flaw in that reasoning?
"Ma'am," I said, quite calmly, "we didn't know that Tim Russert was going to die."
Seemingly by reflex, she immediately opened her mouth to argue . . . but nothing came out. And judging by the rather charming expression on her face, I think that it was at this point that she realized what a monumentally stupid thing she had just said.
She mumbled something that sounded vaguely like an apology, and asked us to back-order the books for her. No problem, we said.
That's it for now, but there will be more coming soon. Sadly, I've accumulated quite a large supply of these stories during my years in retail . . .
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