Massive brain cell CARNAGE.

[Discourtesy Clerk]

Not sucky. Just...well, read. I am not making this up. I could not make this shit up. This is exactly what happened, as close to verbatim as I can get.

Girl comes up to me with a question. Girl is dressed in full Varsity Cheerleader regalia for the local HS. (This is important. She is living proof that the cheerleader stereotype is totally valid.) Girl shows me grocery list.

WARNING: The following dialogue may not be suitable for intelligent audiences. Reader discretion is advised.

VC: I need to know what this is. (Shows me grocery list, points to item. Item says, "a bale of hay".)
Me: Um. ...Uh...that's, uh...that is...a bale...of hay...
VC: Oh, I know...but what is it?
Me: It's...a bale of hay.
VC: But I don't know what that is. Can you explain it to me?
Me: (HOLY CRAP, DUDE. ) It's a bale of hay. Like, a haystack. It's hay. In a bale. A bale of hay. (Hand motions) It's like...a square thing of hay.
VC: But I don't understand. I don't know what that means. What is that?
Me: It's hay. In a stack. It's - look, we don't have that here. We don't carry hay.
VC: ...............Oh, okay. Well, thanks.
(Walks out. Or rather, tries to, through the door that is locked, which despite the sign, I must TELL her is locked. Finally leaves.)

The kicker? Standing right beside her is a grown woman, presumably her mother. Mother says nothing during that entire time, and looks just as confused as the girl.

Now, this is California. Farms all over. We are in a farm town. How does a teenage girl and a grown woman spend any length of time living HERE and not know what a bale of hay is?!?

And for that matter...why did the grocery list even have that on there? Who goes to Safeway for hay? Where did they get that list? My best guess is that it was something for a school function, which would make the wanting a bale of hay almost logical, but there are so many WTFs between that point and what came into my store, that I refuse to ponder it any further, lest my brain cells commit seppuku in unison.

I'm still just... . That's stupid taken to a whole new dimension, right there. I want to cry for my generation whenever I think about that.

[Broomjockey]

That's right up there with that old joke:

Guy to Farmer: that's a nice buncha cows you got there
Farmer to guy: Herd
Guy: What?
Farmer: Herd of cows
Guy: 'Course I heard of cows, that why I complimented you on yours!

It's so stupid that you know it's happened at least once, because no one could make that up.
It's equivilent to someone asking what those big trucks are spreading on the road after that huge snow storm.

[Seanette]

Cross-connect to Mythbusters, in the "Needle in a Haystack" segment:
Jamie: "...first stop is a hay store."
Adam: "Otherwise known as a farm."

[counterjockey]

Even here in the heartland...

It ain't just cheerleaders. I'm in Iowa. Yes, Iowa. And I swear there are people my age, born and raised here, that don't know that pork, ham, and bacon come from pigs, beef and (most) milk comes from cows, and sausage comes from -- well, even I'm not always sure about that.

Somewhat off topic, venison comes from deer. Deer come from the side of the road at a pretty good clip. Deer tend to tumble, kind of end-over-end, off the front of an Olds Cutlass doing about 45 mph up a county road. That was my weekend, anyway. (Little fucker, mess with my poor car, will you?)

You mean to tell me that Cheerleader's never heard of a Fleet Farm? Tractor Supply? Hay-Vee?

[Barefootgirl]

Maybe they jsut moved into the area, from somewhere they don't have hay. Like Venus...I mean, even if you don't live on a farm or in a particularly rural area, you must have seen hay bales on TV, or in the pet shop, right? Even people who live in cities have guinea-pigs and things like that, that need hay.

I suppose you'd call where we live "semi-rural". There's a farm at the end of our road, and you can see sheep out of the bedroom window, but I'm surrounded by neighbours on every side and the train to central London only takes 30 minutes. My 3 year old knows which meat comes from which animal, where milk and wool come from, and what bread is made out of. We stayed on a farm up in Scotland in the holidays, and she almost died from excitement when she found out that the yellow stuff growing all around our cottage was "wheat that makes bread, Daddy !!!" She wanted to stay until they brought the combines up (actually, I quite like watching combines as well, but still...).

[leaping_baby]

I actually laughed out loud at that. Thanks - I needed it. I had a bad day.

[Knightmare]

lest my brain cells commit seppuku in unison.

I'm pleased that someone knows what seppuku actually is!
Just don't try to explain that to the cheerleader.

[Gurndigarn]

Cheerleader in a rural area, not knowing what a haystack is... well, she's only sorta the stereotype, y'unnerstan?

[Banrion]

Maybe she had Safeway & AMway confused. Up here in the NE Amway is where all the suburbanite yuppies go for "farm stuff." Everyone else has a buddy who at the very least has a stable, if not a small veg farm or small herd of cows/sheep/llamas that they go to if they need hay.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Hey, stupidity isn't limited to the cheerleader who was the subject of this thread.

My dad used to live on a farm. I once asked him "How many cattle are there in a head?"

My dad was like . It is still a joke in my family.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

I refuse to ponder it any further, lest my brain cells commit seppuku in unison.

Ok, that's now my new tagline...that's too good to pass up <grin>

Mongo

[Becks]

And for that matter...why did the grocery list even have that on there? Who goes to Safeway for hay?

Every fall, the grocery store I work at (I live in NJ) stocks bales of hay for fall/Halloween/Thanksgiving decorating. Maybe other stores do that, too...

[Tria]

Cheerleader in a rural area, not knowing what a haystack is... well, she's only sorta the stereotype, y'unnerstan?

Yeah, I mean the football captain should've showed her.

[Dips]

Yeah, I mean the football captain should've showed her.

<snort!> Ow!! Diet Pepsi hurts going through my nose!

Oooooh! So, like, hay is...like...that stuff I was lying on when we...like...went into that barn...like? So...like...why does it come in pails?

[protege]

My dad used to live on a farm. I once asked him "How many cattle are there in a head?"

My dad was like . It is still a joke in my family.

Right after my parents were married, one of the cows got out. My mother grew up on a farm, so to her, it wasn't a big deal. Simply go out, surround the cow, and chase it back into the field. Except, that my father lived in the city all his life...and actually asked if the cows bite.

BTW, you haven't lived until you've had a large animal (which weighs more than my car!) running at you at full speed... But, at least they usually run *away* from people.