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Take it up with your friend! Not me!

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  • #1

    Take it up with your friend! Not me!

    We had a large group of guys in the bar, about twenty of them all sat together, drinking, not eating.

    Me: Long suffering barman
    SM: Stupid Man
    SMF: Stupid Man's Friend

    SM: Excuse me, but I ordered a burger about 40 minutes ago, and it hasn't arrived.
    Me: OK, do you have your reciept?
    SM: Uhh, it's at my table.

    I walk over with him. He hands me an extremelly tatty receipt. I also look at the table, and see an empty plate that had the remains of a burger on it.

    Me: Did anyone else at your table order any food?
    SM: Uhhhh....uhhhh, guys, did anyone order a burger?

    Almost all of them shook their heads.

    Me: OK, is there a receipt for that burger there?
    SM: What burger?
    Me: That burger.
    SM: Oh, that was my friends.
    Me: Can I see the receipt?
    SMF: Huhhh, huuhh, huuhh (laughs Bevis and Butthead style)
    Me: Well?
    SMF: Huhh, huhh, huhh, I ate your burger.
    SM: WHAT?
    SMF: Well you were in the bathroom and they came over with it. So I ate it. Huhh, huhh, huhh.

    Stupid Man looks at me with huge puppy dog eyes.

    Me: Well I'm afraid your going to have to pay for that burger.
    SMF/SM: WHAT??
    Me: I'm not bringing out a new burger until that one is paid for.
    SM: Come on! What's a fiver between friends? Why can't YOU pay for it.
    Me: I am not paying for something your friend stole!
    SM: I want my burger!
    Me: Well make him pay for it! There are about twenty of you! What's a fiver "between friends"?
    SMF: I'm not paying for it.
    Me: Then no burger!

    I walked away. I felt a bit bad for the poor guy who had lost his burger, but I don't see why he was taking it out on me.

    About five minutes later, Stupid Mans Friend walks up to the bar, looking quite sheepish.

    SMF: Can I pay for my friends burger?

    A co-worker said they threatened to beat him if he didn't pay for it.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    ...This is what happens when siblings copulate.
    "Do not quibble with me over apostrophes. I have my shit together when it comes to apostrophes." - BookBint

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    • #3
      Aw, come on. Some people with a perfectly legitimate family tree (as opposed to some strange mangled family rhizome) can be just as stupid.
      "I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."

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      • #4
        Quoth MoxisPilot View Post
        ...This is what happens when siblings copulate.
        I don't think it's a "family tree not forking" problem...but rather a "had too many pints of booze" problem
        Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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        • #5
          Wait, how could he not know his friend ate his burger?

          Stupid people.
          Military Spouse Support.
          http://www.customerssuck.com/board/group.php?groupid=45
          Plaidman's Minions: Telecom_Goddess: Dungeon Minion

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          • #6
            A1 Steaksauce. Yeah, it's that important.
            "IT stands away, interrupting himself from the incessant hammering of the kittens…"

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            • #7
              I would have beaten that friend as well. That's not cool at all. Especially if he wasn't planning on paying for it. Screw that.
              Excuse me, good sir paladin, can you direct me to your EVIL district?

              http://www.dywhcomic.com

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              • #8
                That story's a classic.

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                • #9
                  Yeah, not cool man. Not cool.

                  You can take your buddy's girl, but never mess with his burger!
                  Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                  Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                  Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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                  • #10
                    He shouldn't have gone to the bathroom with those losers nearby.

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                    • #11
                      Not cool at all.
                      I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                      Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                      Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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                      • #12
                        Messing with the food is a good way to get stabbed with a fork. Ask my sister about that one. Ah, childhood memories.....
                        The Borg wouldn't know fun if they assimilated an amusement park. -- B'Elanna Torres, Star Trek: Voyager

                        Math! Math, my dear boy, is but the lesbian sister of Biology. -- Peter Griffin, Family Guy

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                        • #13
                          If somebody ate my burger at my favorite watering hole, well....after I got done with them they'd have no recollection of doing so. And probably also would have to be hooked up to machines to pee and poo for the rest of their life.

                          Seriously, this place's burgers are TO DIE FOR. Dripping in butter and ketchup and pickles and other tasty things, and on a nice toasty bun....awesome for sopping up your beer.
                          Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                          "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                          • #14
                            I have to say customersruinmylife that I'm glad it worked out where the guy confessed (though really, he knew there was no receipt for the burger he claimed was his). Most SCs would still act like you still owe them. Oh, and "what is a fiver between friends." bunch of assholes thinking that five means nothing to you but a lot to them.
                            Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

                            Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

                            I wish porn had subtitles.

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                            • #15
                              I wouldn't have even asked the guy to pay for my burger... I woulda just knocked him in the teeth, taken his wallet, taken $10 Dollars, and payed for both burgers. The one that he ate, plus the one I'd have to buy to replace it
                              <Insert clever signature here>

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