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  • #1

    "So, who are you voting for?"

    Sometimes I envy you who have hourly jobs. It's one thing to have to be nice to them so you don't get complained about, it's another when they are directly influencing your take home pay. Especially when they are lunatics.

    It was fairly busy this morning, and I had one table that seemed a little off. Not quite at sucky, but things progressed nicely until I was completely at a loss. I was picking up the plates and chit chatting (aka kissing butt for tips) when the SM dropped it.

    SM: So who are you voting for?
    Me: Oh, there's still a few months, I'm going to wait and see.
    SM: I just think you should know, candidate A is the antichrist.
    Me: What?
    SM: Just trust me. Read your bible. It's all in there.
    Me: I'm familiar with a bible.
    SM: Then you already know!
    Me:
    SM: It all works out, with the Mayan calendar... the world is going to end. So have you figured out who you're voting for?
    Me: Sure have, thanks for stopping in!

    I walked away so fast. I'm surprised he wasn't wearing a tin foil hat. His wife just nodded along!!

    And to my fellow servers, you probably could have guessed what my tip was. It was a good one- a mini comic book complete with illustrations of the flames of hell!! Thanks, I can fill my tank with that for sure.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    No, the world isn't going to end. There's just going to be a Zombie Apocolypse. Year 2012. December.

    Pack a can opener.
    Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

    Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

    Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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    • #3
      2012 isn't the end of the world. It's the Technological Singularity. Oh and I'm just waiting for a customer to ask me who I'm voting for. "Right now I'm torn between Bob Barr and Chuck Norris, how about you"?

      Comment

      • #4
        Wow. I've never seen anyone take on being a religious wacko in two religions before. Seriously, what in the name of Osiris does the Mayan calendar have to do with the coming of the Antichrist?
        Marvin: "Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction? 'Cos I don't."

        Krispy Kreme puts the "ugh" back in "doughnuts".

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        • #5
          Sean Connery.
          Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

          Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

          Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

          Comment

          • #6
            The Mayan calendar is in the bible? I'm so glad I'm not an American right now and can say 'no one'. Until they (yet again) disolve the government and hold elections again then it will be 'none of your business'.
            How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

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            • #7
              uh... the bible supposedly dates back to before the Mayan calendar. So... the Mayans aren't in it.
              Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

              Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

              Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

              Comment

              • #8
                Yeah, I've seen those booklets. Chick Publications. I'm suing them to get my religion back.

                Let the record show that I am voting for either Zephod Beeblebrox or Cthulhu. I like Zephod's hair, but I am also impressed with Cthulhu's whole End-of-the-World platform.
                This is like my expression when faced with a SC...

                http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b2...used-small.gif

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                • #9
                  Not to step on Zaphod's toes, but I think Mickey Mouse has a much stronger record and is overall more electable so I'm voting for him.

                  For some reason people keep assuming that I'm a good person to ask about conspiracy theories and where to score good drugs, I had a woman in her 50s pull me aside this morning to ask where she could get shrooms, she was shocked when I told her I don't know where to buy drugs other than your local pharmacy.
                  "Ride the spiral to the end, it may just go where no one's been. Spiral out, keep going..." -Lateralus

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                  • #10
                    Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.

                    ;p

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                    • #11
                      Wouldn't reading the Bible (and believing it enough to tell other people to do so as well) prevent you from believing an ancient pagan religion has foretold the end of the world? Do they have an annotated version without "no man shall know the hour?"

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Anriana View Post
                        Wouldn't reading the Bible (and believing it enough to tell other people to do so as well) prevent you from believing an ancient pagan religion has foretold the end of the world? Do they have an annotated version without "no man shall know the hour?"
                        Yeah, but that's one of the many reasons why they're considered nutjobs. It's not supposed to make sense!
                        ...WHY DO YOU TEMPT WHAT LITTLE FAITH IN HUMANITY I HAVE!?! -- Kalga
                        And I want a pony for Christmas but neither of us is getting what we want OK! What you are asking is impossible. -- Wicked Lexi

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                        • #13
                          All I know is, "Zombie Apocalypse" would be a good name for my next band.
                          "Wouldn't that be unethical?"
                          "That's only an issue for those who aren't already in Hell."
                          --Dilbert

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                          • #14
                            Was it a Chick tract that they left you? (highly religious, but in the crazy way, comic books. It's googlable). They can be really scary/crazy. They can also be funny if you look at them right...but I still think they're scary.
                            I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. ~George Carlin.

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                            • #15
                              Nothing's gonna happen in 2012. The Mayans just decided to stop their calendar at that date 'cause they didn't want to go any further, and then a couple thousand years later some dumbass zealot with a lot of free time saw this and went "ZOMG TEH END OF TEH WERLD!"

                              So yeah--nothing's gonna happen. I'll believe it when I see it.
                              The New Orleans Saints are your 2009 NFL champions.

                              Believe dat.

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