Yeah they'll never find you

[SuperB]

We haven't had a good nutcase move into town since the one who used to get drunk and walk around naked was told to leave the county after making some sort of terrorist threats.
Well, we finally have another village idiot. Guy comes in to mail some letters and since he's never seen me before decides to let me in on all his little secrets.

Apparently he pissed off the mob at his business, they tried to off him with a shopping card (yes you read that right, a shopping cart) and now he's in the witness protection program. Yep, we got someone up here in the witness protection program.... just ask him, he'll tell you alllllllll about it. Of course in the process of doing so he'll regress to a time when he was a toddler and tell you a story about some crime he committed and how upset his mom was..... including the 'little boy' voice. He'll also tell you how successful a lawyer he is and how many celebrities he knows too. Oh, and he's suing the mob for millions.

I'm looking forward to Monday.....

[RayvenQ]

Well, he's certainly the brightest bulb isn't he, telling strangers that he's wanted by the mob (if he is at that, which I doubt)

[lordlundar]

Has his tinfoil hat arrived yet? I think he pre-empted it there.

[SuperB]

Of all the people who tend to stand in the lobby and ramble on while I have work to do, he's been the most entertaining, that's for sure.

[hefegrande]

haha i'd like to see the title of this lawsuit "crazy guy vs. THE mob"

[BookstoreEscapee]

I don't think the WPP will bother with you if you can't be trusted to NOT TELL PEOPLE ABOUT IT!!!

[Leopardmadcat]

Just remember to wear your MAFFIA t-shirt to work next time...

[smileyeagle1021]

Just remember to wear your MAFFIA t-shirt to work next time...

no no no... it's the mob that's after him, not the mafia... get it straight... (sense if this guy is a paronoid wacko he probably wouldn't realize that they are really 2 different names for the same thing)

[karma_gypsy]

Oh, and he's suing the mob for millions.

Suing the mob for millions? Oh, I'm sure that'll go over well ...

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Suing the mob for millions? Oh, I'm sure that'll go over well ...

I think the heads of the Five Families would be too busy laughing to order the hit.

He sounds harmless though . . . just a bit out there. In all seriousness he's sounds like he's not on medication but should be.

We have a regular customer who, when we had the issue with peanut butter claimed that Al-Queda poisoned the peanut crops. These two should get together for lunch sometime - they'll have plenty to talk about.

[Polenicus]

Dear God, how does he get any shopping done!?

I mean... walking into the Supermarket... the carts, dear lord the carts! They're everywhere! Potentially lethal weapons, all, with people just blithely pushing them around... oh my god, that one has a CHILD riding in it!

The fools! They'll destroy themselves! They'll destroy us all!! There are enough carts here to wipe out the entire city! AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHH!!!

[Leopardmadcat]

But I can't find any good MOB t-shirts... Guess you'll just have to dress up 20's Gangsta style.

[Rapscallion]

I've got a Ninja Mafia T-shirt I wear from time to time.

Rapscallion

[Geek King]

no no no... it's the mob that's after him, not the mafia... get it straight...

Tell him La Cosa Nostra is looking for him as well. Might as well go for the triple.

[SuperB]

He didn't hang out this morning nearly as long as the other day but he's a pretty entertaining guy. (obvious nuttiness aside and all) You wouldn't believe the musicians he's played with.