a better understanding

[vacation_rentals_suck]

Guest: (very nasally voice which I hate) Yea Dave, I want to know where this villa is located

Me: It is just past the second security gate on the island

Guest: well what do you mean when you say the second gate?

Me: there are two gates on the island, this is just past the second one

Guest: Ok I am confused...what surrounds the property?

Me: it is a lagoon view

Guest: I dont understand what that means, a lagoon view, that tells me nothing....I need you to slow down and be more expansive in your description

Me: It sits right next to a lagoon, ma'am

Guest: well I dont understand.......I mean does it sit directly on the lagoon or does it face it at an angle, I just dont understand....are there houses next to it? How far apart are they?

Me: I know it faces the lagoon. I think it faces it directly

Guest: you think? you mean you dont know?

Me: I have never been asked that before

Guest: I find that hard to believe

Me: what can I say?

Guest: You know you're not being very helpful. Can I talk to someone else who can give me a better sense of the geography because I just dont feel confident talking to you. I dont think you know what you're talking about.

She talked to the only other person who has been there longer than me and complained about me

[South Texan]

Me: It is just past the second security gate on the island

Guest: well what do you mean when you say the second gate?

Me: there are two gates on the island, this is just past the second one

Why is that woman even worrying about seeing anything regarding that lagoon view since she has been hit by the blindingly obvious?

I can understand her confusion as to what is meant by "lagoon view" as I have rented properties with "beach views" that translated into a small space between two other buildings through which I could see a little bit of beach if I stretched my neck out over the balcony railing and turned my head.

[rerant]

What kind of deadly scum rent from your company? I mean, have these people never heard of walking?
Me, if I want to know what something is like, I walk my ass over there and have a peek, I don't call the front desk and ask for a mental map.
Ugh. People boggle my mind.

[Sheldonrs]

Guest: (very nasally voice which I hate) Yea Dave, I need to take a shit and I want to know where my asshole is located

Me: It is just past the first cheek behind you

Guest: well what do you mean when you say 1st cheek?

Me: there are two cheeks on your backside, this is just past the 1st one

Guest: Ok I am confused...what surrounds the asshole?

Me: it is surrounded by an idiot with a narrow view

....

Translated for your convenience

[sgislandgal]

Translated for your convenience

Bwahahaha!

[crazylegs]

Translated for your convenience

Thank you, you have bought warmth to an otherwise cold day!

[digilight]

Me: it is a lagoon view

Guest: I dont understand what that means, a lagoon view, that tells me nothing....I need you to slow down and be more expansive in your description

Well, basically in the event of a tidal wave or tsunami, your whinny bitching ass will be one of the first to get swept away, while the folks who do not have a lagoon view will perish a tenth of a second after you.


God you get some paint chip eating fools at your resort. How do you avoid beating them to death with a frozen bag of twinkies...Oh yeah, I forgot, the whole phone thing...

[crazylegs]

God you get some paint chip eating fools at your resort. How do you avoid beating them to death with a frozen bag of twinkies...Oh yeah, I forgot, the whole phone thing...

What, he beats them to death with the phone? That's dedication!

[Dips]

I just find it disconcerting when a brain-dead idiot spouts off things like

expansive in your description

and

better sense of geography

All I can think is that somebody wasted a million dollar education on a two cent brain.

[bloodrose]

Guest: You know you're not being very helpful. Can I talk to someone else who can give me a better sense of the geography because I just dont feel confident talking to you. I dont think you know what you're talking about.

Yes, it's called google maps. Click on Satellite view. Good day, ma'am!

I was talking to my boyfriend about what he'd want to do for vacation and he was saying, 'oh, i'd like to rent a house on an island somewhere' and I related some of your horror stories - are all island-goers that rude? I wouldn't want to run into any of them on my vacation...

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

This is where you ask for an e-mail address and then send them a link to the satilite view from maps.google.com.

But even then people would go "but that's not enough information. I need to know how manf grains of sand are on my beach" or some dumbass shit.

M

[tropicsgoddess]

Google Earth much? Seriously, if she wanted such a good visual of it she could've gone on Google Maps for that too. VRS, I wonder how you can go day to day with these soul sucking asshats without wanting to beat the crap outta them with or worse.